A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am confused about something and lookign for other people's perspective.I'm gay, if that matters, and have just been dumped by my boyfriend of 4 months.I always wondered his true feelings for me, and it was upsetting me a great deal, so I asked him why he ended it.He told me that he 'tried to love me' and couldn't. This has left me really upset. What does it mean? Am I not loveable? Am I hideously ugly? What did I do wrong? I can't work out what it is if someone was actually 'trying' to love me and still couldn't, then what could be wrong with me? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, rhythmandblues2  + ♥, writes (21 October 2009):
 The majority of people really do not get (understand) love.
Love is not a feeling. It isn't something that you make yourself feel for someone else. Love is a conscious DECISION to be a person worthy of love. It involves committment and putting the needs of your partner above your own.
Love is something a person has to be capable of, your ex was telling you that he is not capable of loving any one let alone you. He doesn't want to be a person worthy of love either, he can't commit, he can't put you first and he doesn't want to.
This is not about you, this is about him and his ability to love. Love is action, It is a verb, not a noun, he simply is not a loving person.
Never let someone else define you. Of course you are lovable. God doesn't make junk.
A
female
reader, satindesire +, writes (21 October 2009):
 Starlights, the poster never said that his ex told him he was ugly or unloveable. Those questions were the poster asking US that.
Original poster:
One person's opinion should not be what you base YOUR opinion of yourself on. Look at this logically. If he ended it with you, with three billion men on this planet, can you honestly say HE was your LAST CHANCE at being with someone you love?
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A
female
reader, Starlights + ♥, writes (21 October 2009):
 Your ex is very shallow and narrow minded.
Whose he to say you cannot be loved? He's not judge or jury.
What your ex means is he is not capable of loving himself so he cannot love you.
I am sure you are loveable to THE RIGHT PERSON not to a narrow minded selfish guy like your ex.
He's the loser in all this not you.
Your perfect and loveable as you are, dont change for anybody.
Hope things work out and goodluck!
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A
female
reader, Nightingale +, writes (21 October 2009):
 No what he is saying is he is not capable of love. Loving a person is not something you make yourself go out and do. Love is an emotion that you first have to possess in order to connect emotionally with someone and share it.
The man did you a favor you deserve better.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (21 October 2009):
 He's a total narcissist, no empathy whatsoever. There's nothing you did wrong and be glad you are rid of these souless shell of a person.
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A
male
reader, q1605 +, writes (21 October 2009):
 No it means he is shallow and hurts others when he can't feel pain.
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