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I'm "uncool" and I worry about what the "cool" kids think of me!

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 February 2006) 4 Answers - (Newest, 27 February 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Hey. I was just ondering if you could help me.

I really enjoy school. I have loads of friends and do well in my lessons. Only, I'm in the 'uncool' group of people.

There's the 'cool' people, 'middle' people, and the 'uncool' people. I'm sure it was like that in some of your schools. I'm very happy, except I get very worried about what the 'cool' people think of me. I get worried that if I do something, thet'll laugh at me and tease me.

One reason I get so self-conscious is because a few days ago our school had a trip to the cinema. I was sitting quite happily by my friends, when the 'cool' girls came and sat next to me. All of a sudden one of them said:

"Oh! I'm not sitting by her!" Obviously meaning me. I can't help thinking to myself 'Oh God. Is that what they really think of me?' I get embarrassed because I feel so awkward and that I have to impress when I'm around those type of people. Why? Any other people ever felt this way? Is it normal? I'm getting myself so down thinking that other people talk and laugh about me behind my back. Any advice?

If you are reading this question and there are no answers to it, please, please answer even if your advice is rubbish. I feel so alone, the agony aunts on this are my last hope, if you don't help me, who will? Thanks.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2006):

I know how you feel hun. Mind you at that 2nd half of my grade 10 year, I grew out of that mentality and grew into my own. Those bullies should be glad I wasn't stupid and depressed enough to bring a bomb to school! 8E

It doesn't really matter you know? You're in highschool from grade 8 to 12 (7 to 12 for me). What is that? 5 to 6 years of your life. After HS, those 'cool' kids are at the mercy of real-life world outside the comfort of that social standard that is high school.

9 years after highschool, and I bump into many of my former classmates here and there. I look at them and look at myself, and the difference is that we all spreaded out and did our own thing. We are no longer in the cool or uncool group. We are just as we are as we made ourselves.

In the end, it doesn't really matter. After HS, you won't even care about them and vice versa. I know during HS, it'll be a bit difficult - the mental abuse and sometimes the physical abuse really f**king sucks, but f**k pride altogether, and if anything they do result in harm towards you, go to the administration. Make sure those damn bullies are put in their place. Just cuz you're a budding engineer in the works, the next master sculptor, a learning world chess champ (and potentially author of 12 successful strategy e-books), the next Steve Jobs, or potentially becoming a CFO of a large audit firm - doesn't mean you're any less than cool.

What a cool word... Cool... 8P

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A female reader, smeedle United Kingdom +, writes (26 February 2006):

smeedle agony auntRight young lady, let me tell you I have been in both groups and the cool group is very not cool as all you think about in that group is how to make others in the non cool group miserable, so if you are a complete bitch and want to spend your time bullying and making a fool out of others then go to that group.

The un cool group was more relaxed, it was fun and I could be myself, i did not have to have the latest clothes and stuff, I could wear no make up etc, and I made friends with people who like me for me and not what they thought i should be, these people are still my friends 20 years on.

Bullies are just insecure, shallow people.

The best of it was that when i was in the cool group i had lots of blokes but all they wanted was to get into my knickers, when i was with the un cool group the blokes were my friend and gave me respect, also they made much more reliable and steady boyfriends.

We all want to be liked and i still do but what comes with age is the wisdom to know that not all people will like me as i dont like some people, and i can now not let this bother me in the slightest, so be happy in the non cool group as really it is the cool group.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2006):

hi there,

dont worry, your not alone alot of people are in your shoes!!! theres a group of girls in my year who look down at me like am 10 levels below them, and yes it can hurt,

but do u think everyone acutally likes popular, bossy stuck up girls?? and if u have good friends then it does not matter how popular you are. these girls are proberly jealous... they are not worth bothering about. they sound like a bunch of bullys. who are not comfortable about themselves so have to pick on other people to make them feel better.

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A female reader, wookiee's girlfriend +, writes (26 February 2006):

wookiee's girlfriend agony auntDON'T WORRY! it happens to most kids in school...in fact, it's still happening to me now. i'm 15 and in my last year of senior school. i'm also in the middle/uncool group at school, but i also hear the gossip about friendships in the 'cool' group. it ain't as great there as it is in the 'bottom', honest. senior school has been the worst 5 years of my life and i had to change school because of it.

now this is sounding like i'm the one asking for help, but i'm just saying that it happens to all people. just completely ignore them coz honestly you're stroger, luv. keep with your group coz they sound great, and keep up the work at school. that's the most important thing. and make sure you let the 'cool' group know that you really don't care what they think. hope this helps!

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