A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend keeps downloading the filthiest porn behind my back and it makes me so sick I donn't even want him to touch me. I've just found one were a woman is practically being abused by 3 men. He says he's not into anal sex but it's in all of his little disgusting little videos! We've fought and talked about this and he just keeps lying to me, I din't think I can tkae this anymore....How can I get it out of our relationship?
View related questions:
anal sex, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): I have the exact same problem !!
I have no idea what to do. I hate being around him, and feel like utter crap, as I do not compare to these women in porn ! I feel like I am not good enough for him and do not meet his needs ! I already have low self-esteem ... this has made it all worse :(
Its not at all fair !
A
female
reader, Emmajane +, writes (25 September 2007):
 I have to disagree with the others. Porn is fantasy, not reality and is designed to titilate and arouse people. More men than women like porn, however many women do like it (I like it) and I'd rather my man watched porn than played around for real outside our relationship.
I've worked with and met many porn actresses and they certainly don't feel degraded or exploited. In fact they think they are exploiting the people who look at it!
Why not try and get interested, and turn it into part of your sex games?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): The allegory at this web page might help you. It is quite informative.
http://www.marriageromance.com/stories/11415737310.htm
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2007): daglish, yeah sure tht would work if porn were really about sex and not power.. porn is about power and degradation of women...which is exactly why your advice is ridiculous and demeaning to women
http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/11/20/1069027254663.html?from=storyrhs
...............................
A
male
reader, daglish  +, writes (16 September 2007):
 You have all the right to be upset abt a guy who preffers porn to u in a relationship. However it could be worse for both of you if u call it quits. I know its hard for him to leave porn at once. It takes time , your support, somex conselling and guts to kill off that desire. The problem could also be that u take things too formal in the bed room. Why dont you just strip 4 him when the two of you are alone and keep flaunting your pussy and ass infront of him as u do ur hse chores. this will wotk coz it will automatically act as his porn and he will never find a better sub.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): make him choose you or the disgusting porn
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): Well I had a bf who was addicted to porn. And I was devastated. I hated it and why shouldn't I? It's so hurtful. And I don't think it's normal. I stuck with him for two years and he never changed. The worst part about it is that he knew how bothered I was about it. And he was so upset that he was hurting me. And he swore that he would never do it again. But he did. Again and again. And when I caught him he felt bad again but he couldn't stop. I guess he was addicted to it. So one day I packed my stuff up and left. For good. He was so devastated. He didn't believe I would leave, but I did. And he wrote songs for me and cried for months but that is not what I wanted. I wanted him to stop looking at porn. That's all. Furthermore it was too late. I just moved on. And I got a new boyfriend. And my ex found out and he was even more devastated. But in my mind all I could think was, well now he can have all the porn he wants and not hurt me anymore. And I am sure that when I left he probably didn't leave his house for a week and just looked at porn everyday without feeling pressure to hide it. But of course I am sure that gets old. But that is no longer my problem. It's his. And I am sure he is lonely but that is something he should have thought of when I still loved him and was still forgiving. And don't listen to people who say it is normal. Believe me it's not. I mean my ex, the one who looked at porn, one time we were watching a movie, and Joaquin Phoenix was in a sex scene (and he knew I had a crush on Joaquin) and he got so uptight watching the sex scene and knowing that I was looking at a guy naked who I was probably attracted to, and he got jealous and put his hand over my eyes. See what I am saying?? He felt the exact same way I felt when he was looking at arousing images of other women (and behind my back!). He too got jealous and felt uneasy and just couldn't stand it.Guys feel that way about us. So don't listen to a guy that tells you it is ok for them to do it. Cause they know how it would feel if we did it to them. And they do not like it! Therefore there is no reason they should do that to us.
...............................
A
female
reader, faith scott boreanaz +, writes (13 September 2007):
 it seems its become a habit for him, i know a couple of friends who had a boyfriend who suffered a porn addiction. so i advised my friend to suggest him take pornographic photo's of her (not too dirty, as far as she was comfortable) and since then he's only looked at the photo's of her not other women which she found a little less irritating. but that wont work with everybody as some girls dont like to do private porn for their hubbies.Another thing you can do (if talking dont work) is counselling, yes i know its embarressing but they've dealt with worse things and i promise you many other couples suffer the same thing they just dont reveal it often.
...............................
A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (13 September 2007):
Don't look at the porn and refuse to watch it with him. Otherwise stay off his back.
...............................
|
