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female
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*alkingeyes_76
writes: Ok so here it is... I am confused as hell. Torn between my "X" that I love very much...we have been on and off alot over the last 15 years. And now feelings for a new man in my life....but only 2 months in and he has fallen so hard it scares me. I have tried to be honest with them bot. I told my "X" that I was tired of being a revolving door for him to come and go...yet still very much in love with him...and the sex is awsome and soooo hard to give up. And I told the ne guy I care for him alot but still see the "x" he gets freaked (some what scary) out about it cuase he thinks he is already "in love" with me. On the other hand the new guy shows me so much longed for attention and when we hang out it is always fun we laugh alot. And the "x" and I know we've tried soooo many times only to fail that I do not see a future there....so it's more just a comfort and sex thing now. So how do I break free of this triangle without hurting either of them they both say they are unhappy without being able to be apart of my life...I do not want to hurt no one ...but in the long run I am either way cuase they are both so jelouse and hurt when I see the other one. Strong feelings for both and torn...advise much needed. ThanksTalkingeyes_76
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2006): A 15 year history with a man is hard to give up, I have been there myself, and that relationship did not end in a future together, although I think it could have if I wanted it to, but after so many years together and not getting a proposal, I ended up losing my desire to hang in there with him...I guess my advice to you is you need to do some soul searching...if you want the man of 15 years, continue to date the other guy and break it off with the old one, make him reach for you, don't give him an ultimatum, just tell him that you think you deserve more (a committment) from him, and you understand if he can't give it to you, but you need to move on. Give the new guy a chance, it sounds to me like you want to, and if you get what you were hoping for from the old guy, decide then if you will take his offer of a committment, but do not go back to a casual on again off again affair, this is hurting your self esteem and erroding your trust in this relationship and this man...don't make decisions based on not wanting to hurt the two men, they are adults, and as long as you are being honest with them, then they are capable of deciding what to do and that is their responsibility. It is your responsibility to make the men fall for you and tell them what you want from the relationship. Good Luck to you, sounds like you have a high class problem, two men that want you!
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