A
female
age
26-29,
*lizabella Disney
writes:Hi everyone. I'm in a relationship with an older man. This is my first serious relationship and its going great emotionally, and mostly sexually.. I have not had much sexual experience and am quite anxious and nervous when it comes to new things. My partner wants to try new things (the other day he mentioned 'sex dice') , and all i can respond with is becoming paralysed with fear. I feel like i have too many boundaries (e.g, no touching my feet, i will not lick a persons rear). I fear that I will do something wrong and embarras myself or be rejected. Any time i think about trying new things in bed, i literally have a panic attack. I love my partner and want to please him. What are some good tips for getting over my sexual shyness and becoming more confidant?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2016): Is he much older than you? Because he seems to be desperate for sex and wants to exploit the opportunity to the full as fast as possible. I don't think such an affair will be satisfactory or healthy for you. Wait for the right person within your age range and experience to come who would care for you, not to exploit you to satisfy his hunger.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2016): It does not matter how experienced you are, you don't have to do something you don't like. You are not a paid sex worker that must do what a client wants. Even they refuse to do things they are not comfortable with.
I am twice older than you and had a good amount of lovers in my life but I would also not do what you described and I would never agree to anal sex
Your partner should not force you but approach his intentions with a lot of patience, that's the only way how he can do new things with you.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (24 March 2016):
 Hi There. I think first things first. That is, if he is an older man that knows you are inexperienced then he should be understanding and supportive as well as respectful enough not to be pushing you to try things more suitable to his sexual appetite and experience. You have to be upfront and honest from the get go when he makes suggestions. Whether it is letting him know that you dont feel comfortable, what your boundaries are or that you would like him help show you, that you are fear full of making a mistake and that you want to take things nice and easy- No need to make it all too serious just light hearted but honest. A good teacher will not make you feel foolish. You can educate yourself too. Do some research, have a look on the net and see what you turn up. Setting the mood and feeling sexy can help also.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2016): A decent partner would allow you to develop being comfortable in your own time. There isn't some quick fix, you need to stick with what you're comfortable with. You need to tell your partner that there are things you will not do (and there is no need to try and change those things) and get used to initially just being intimate with someone before you push you self to try different things. If he's as great a guy as he's making himself out to be then he will stop throwing the ideas out there and respect your feelings, and will wait before he suggests something else or allow you to be comfortable enough to suggest something yourself. Don't rush, don't do anything you're uncomfortable with and just enjoy it. If you're not enjoying what's happening then you need to stop whatever it is otherwise you will only regret it and, again if he's decent, he would hate to think he had made you feel so uncomfortable about something that should be fun.
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