A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for just under 3 months we have been having sex for the last month, however I keep my top on. I had lost 40kg (80lbs) over the last 5 years and my breasts and tummy sag. He has been so patient and supportive for my concerns, but I recognise it comes across as ridiculous and realise that I would have to expose all my body at some point, but I just can't bring myself to reveal all. My boyfriend is very observant about any pimple or scar as he is a very visual person, he has never dated an overweight person either, all this adds pressure to how I feel and the longer I leave it the harder it becomes to expose my whole body. Despite this, everything else in our relationship is perfect, he/we still manages to enjoy sex with my top on, but id like to be fully naked, but don't know when or how I should stop. Can anyone offer some advice?
View related questions:
breasts, overweight Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, NORA B +, writes (20 February 2016):
Yes this is a very difficult way for you to feel,but you seem to enjoy the sexual encounter anyway.Would you consider having an indept chat with your boyfriend,telling him what way you feel,this will not be easy for you.However if you feel you cant have a chat with him on this level.Would you consider going either on you own or with your boyfriend to a counsellor and talking things out.Always remembering that NO-ONE has the prefect body.A relationship is much more then body image,its the total relationship that counts.Kind regards NORA B.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2016): You have to face your fears. You take your top off and deal with the panic head-on. You are creating things in your mind. He is quite aware of what's going on under your clothes, unless he's really stupid. He can see by the mere shape of your body what's happening beneath your shirt.
You can't go through life keeping your top on in-front of the man you're intimate with. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable proves how much you trust him. It also shows you can master your insecurities, which is a sign of self-confidence and strength.
These days people give-in far too easily to their fears. Most of the time those fears are unsubstantiated and mostly mental. The reality is never revealed to them, because they run from it. The problem is, they suffer and torture themselves over "what might be" instead of "what truly is."
If he can see your naked bottom-half, he is prepared for the rest. If you want to know if he truly cares for you for who you are, you will have to let him see all of you. He will wonder what's wrong with you if you don't. Mental instability is far more troubling than what the eyes can see.
...............................
|
