A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear agony aunts I really need some advice as my prob is upsetting me so much and I don't know how to handle it.I am with a really amazing guy. He loves me and is loyal, kind and honest. I feel so lucky to have him.However, he has children with his ex. This never bothered me and we agreed that he would do the same with his kids as he has always done. He is a very hands on dad.However his ex has recently broke up with her partner and wants my fella back. She keeps in sending threats and abbusive messages to me. I have remained nice at all times to her. She has said she is going to make their teenager give me hell. My fella has told her to leave me alone. My parents also don't approve and we had words but they are ok now.I just don't know how to take this. Tired of people having a go at me as I really don't deserve it.Thanks for any advice x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2011): Thank you all so much for your advice. For now I have taken myself of facebook so she can't get in touch. She is now telling my fella that he is useless as he has chosen me over his family. He hasn't, he still does exactly what he has always done. She was the one that broke up with him 3 years ago and got engaged to someone else.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (11 October 2011):
 if your partner does not know about his ex threatening you he needs to know. keep records of her threats and if she escalates you need to report her.
as for your family... you are over 21 and unless they are supporting you, they should have no say in it.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (10 October 2011):
 Show the threats to your fella and let him know how it makes you feel. Then ask if he will help you, as a team, to confront her to stop.
If she threatens physical harm to anyone or anything, take it to the police.
Continue to be civil to her, with as little contact as possible, and with Dad's permission and guidance, continue your contact and relationship with the kids.
Do not let her bait you into arguments-she is looking for a reaction. Unfortunately, some people are going to poke a go at you, simply because they CAN. If you do not give them ANY reaction, eventually they get bored.
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A
female
reader, KlassyKirsty +, writes (10 October 2011):
 Your current spouse sounds like he is a good practical man, decent, strong willed, faithful and a devoted family man which are admirable traits.His ex, well... its a different story for her, she is the polar opposite :( If your partner has got some baggage on his hands (the children) thats one reason why your parents dissaproved at first, but they chose to readiy accept it, but his ex seriously needs to reconcile, otherwise she may have charges pressed against her for cyber bullying and intentional threats. If she crosses the line, then you or your partner may place a restraining order against her but that is as a last resort if things do not look up.dont worry, you are doing the right thing by being civil towards her :) even though she is extremely jealous.Good luck :) xx
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