A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am a professional independent woman. I have three children. The third child being for my current partner. I have not been very happy in the relationship for a while and have tried communicating this to him. Things did not change. Todate I have now stop having sex with him for about five months. I told him it was starting to make me feel sick. I enjoy sex but when I think of all the major things that make me so happy in the relationship - I felt used. Here are a few major examples - he's NEVER introduced me to his family' we;ve never spoken about living together, he never invites me out, he sees things in my house broken and in need to repair and never volunteers to help repair.He is still very interested in me and is still trying to become intimate with me. I have again brough up all the things that made me unhappy and stated that I needed a husband and that I want to get married. I said to him quite clearly that the next man I have sex with will be my husband on my wedding night.I have recently joined datng agencies and single clubs but I dont think I will meet anyone as I still emotionally love this guy. I have been seeing him on and off for over twenty nine years since 1983. No one is perfect but he really needs to give a little. I refuse to be used by him any more.I work as cabin crew for a major airline and I am constantly meeting new people. I did recently develop a massive mutual crush on someone I use to work with so I do feel i will move on if anyone else shows an interest. For now I am keeping my legs crossed and my current partner at arms distance.Any words of advice welcomed.Thanks
View related questions:
crush, move on, wedding, wedding night Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advice everyone. I know I need to move on but frightened of being on my own. I have even thought of taking him into a holiday where the weddding comes free. Meeting family is not the end of the world but we do have a special bond and its grown strong for many years.
A
female
reader, Trinklett  +, writes (17 April 2012):
 You waited too long to take action. 29 years. Break up with him n change your locks. Let him have no access to you. Push him into your past if you meant anything to him he would have done the right thing by now and trust me hw knows what's expected of him. Enough is enough and stand by your word if not, you'll be right back where you started.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 April 2012):
 Well, 29 years sounds an awful lot of time for not having ever introduced you to his family. I don't share the general obession with " taking things to the next level " and I often advise posters to relax, and stay in the moment, and don't risk ruining everything imposing rules and datelines, but, 29 years, wow. If in 29 years, regardless of having talked to him and said what you want already, nothing changes- it means he really does NOT want anything to change. It's a take it or leave it situation, and yes, if I were you I'd leave.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2012): First of all, have you officially broken up with him? If you haven't, then you need to do that FIRST before you start perusing the dating sites and singles clubs and eyeing up potential new partners. just 'keeping him at arms length' is not the same thing as breaking up. otherwise that would be considered cheating on him, and would put even more emotional distance in the relationship.
so first you need to decide if this relationship is over or not. If it is, then break up officially so you can move on and he can know he should move on too. If not over, then that means you have to commit to working out your differences, which means you shouldn't be joining dating agencies and singles clubs!
if you've been on and off for 30 years, and he still won't introduce you to his family?? or invite you out?? then I think you're wasting your time with him if it's marriage that you want.
but I know it's hard to walk away from a 30-year relationship too. Just that you have to realize you cannot change another person. At some point, and maybe after 30 years it's finally reached this point, you just have to decide if you can live with this situation permanently and if not, to walk away no matter how much it hurts, knowing that eventually the pain will go away.
...............................
|
