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I'm terrified of what might happen next after the police caught us talking to 2 underage girls, but all we did was talk!

Tagged as: Age differences, Big Questions, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 July 2010) 8 Answers - (Newest, 31 July 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, *azzedUp writes:

This is probably the worse place to ask for advice on this topic (No offense I appreciate all the help I've received over the years) but I don't know where else to turn. My best friend and I have two female friends (ONLY friends) that are 13 and 14. Both of us are 17. After work last night we went to meet them at a park for a little while. They rode bicycles and we drove. We sat outside the park and just talked. It was still extremely hot so my friend and I took our shirts off. No sooner had we done that, than did two police cars arrive. Someone had reported us sitting there, and the police figured we were doing drugs. When all of our ages were realized, the police switched their assumptions to that we were having sex. We did NOT. One of the girls was staying at the other's house, so they drove to the other girls house and brought her parents back to the park. Her parents went ballistic after seeing our ages, but the police said that the most they could do as far as retaliation against us would be contact our parents. The girls told the mother that they were going out riding and she allowed them to go out. I have told my guardians exactly what happened and they said don't worry. I'm still terrified. Can anyone tell me what do?! We didn't have sex and we weren't doing drugs. We were just talking.

View related questions: best friend, drugs

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A female reader, xxxcz me United States +, writes (31 July 2010):

xxxcz me agony auntin the USA it seems unfair that people end up on the sex offenders register so easily, shame when there so young and naive.

but older guys know how easy younger girls are and older guys will have a urges for sex, so to be honest your not completely innocent

are you seriously saying if you got the chance you'd say no?

just dont be an idiot, plus girls your own age will never ever fancy a guy that flirts with 13yr olds, because they will think your gross and perverted.

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A female reader, VenaCava Indonesia +, writes (31 July 2010):

VenaCava agony auntArrrghh....stop with the Pedo-phobia culture already.

We MUST protect our kids, but absolutely not by barring them to hang out with adults.

You will NOT get into trouble. You just talked and did nothing more, so just relax.

My childhood home was around a college area, so since I was even barely 12, most of my friends are already over 20s.

We talked a lot about college, work life, culture and people, nature, arts, charity, financial planning, foreign countries, etc.

Yes, you can talk about those things to teenagers and they'll enjoy it, teenagers are very curious and they absorb new information like sponge, it’s one of the prime time to study in a human life time.

And no, I never got molested by any of them; I got married when I was 20 with a man who lived 10000 km away from me, with hymen and dignity intact.

Most of adults will fight tooth and nail to protect the children and teenagers. It seems like somehow along the way we forgot that thing and start to get very paranoid.

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A male reader, JazzedUp United States +, writes (31 July 2010):

JazzedUp is verified as being by the original poster of the question

JazzedUp agony auntThank you all so much for your help. Nothing has happened so far, and I hope it does not. Still thank you all so much.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (30 July 2010):

Honeypie agony auntIf you didn't do anything wrong, you have nothing to worry about.

I agree with West1000 that in the US people freak about and assume everything teens do is sexual or pedophiles waiting to happen. I know why though, lots of sick people out there.

Next time you talk to younger girls, keep your shirt on and stay in public areas, that way YOU won't get in trouble for TALKING to another human being.

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (30 July 2010):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntThere's nothing to worry about if you haven't actually had sex with them. That said, keep your clothes on in future. It's gentlemanly.

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A male reader, KidfromLA93 United States +, writes (30 July 2010):

You can't blame the people watching out for kids, probably what you should know about is that taking off your shirt is not allowed on the street or public area and is considered inappropriate in the U.S law no matter if you are a man or woman at the beach its okay or in a water park or pool area , i mean you don't get charged or something but its something you never should do again.

Other law is that underaged under 18 are only supposed to stay till 10 pm outside.

Sometimes very little details can draw the peoples attention and the attention of the law enforcement.

You don't need to worry about it ,when you are telling the truth you already did all you needed to do , and best to do is to calm down , because you did not do anything wrong and the police does not have any prove for their suspicions.

Because both sides tell the same story and the girls parents don't charge you and believe you.

So chill man and let the police break sweats for doing work which does not make sense.

Personally i laugh at this how stupid the fantasies of cops are sometimes.

Let me tell u a little story

An old friend of mine used the car pool lane with his son and his son fell a sleep and lied back, the police did not see his son so they pulled him over and wanted to charged him for using a carpool lane without a secondary passenger , the officer walks to the window and sees my friends son waking up and asking is there something wrong ? ( too bad i did not saw the officers face, Lolz !!!) then he just asked for his license asked some stupid questions and said the back lights are a little boiled and did let them go.

Instead of being nervous just laugh at it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2010):

Hi JazzedUp,

Gosh you sound so upset by all this, and I wish I could really offer some useful, concrete advice, but not being from the USA I have no idea how the situation presents itself in the eyes of the law. But, through age, and life's experience, I would say the police were just taking precautionary steps to ensure that neither ' drugs or sex' were involved, and they weren't. So nothing for you or your friend to be in trouble for, try not to worry about this too much, I'm sure it will blow over in time.

As for just talking to two girls ( 13 and 14) yes, I can see from your point of view, it was just talking, but onlookers may see the age gap far too wide to be acceptable, regardless of sex or drugs. At 17 you are quite bit more emotionally developed, will have a bit more experience in life in general, and may be people wonder what you might have in common to ' talk about' this is only my thoughts, but may be shared by others who consider 13 and 14 year old girls should remain within their own age group.

My advice would be to keep away from girls so young, doesn't mean you can say hi in passing, but when hanging out with girls, talking, sitting in the park, may keep it to your own age group.

You sound like decent boys to me, so give it some time, and it will pass I'm sure.

Jilly

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (30 July 2010):

I don't think anything else will happen. But you're taking your life in your hands when you're hanging around with younger girls and being topless with them. Young women have a thing for older guys, and it gets them into trouble. Young men can be naive when it comes to girls, and put their safety at risk. That's what you've done. Your parents are okay, and it seems like the police are okay. But you need to be careful, or you'll get into further trouble one day. Just be careful.

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