A
female
age
26-29,
blacksoul
writes:IM MARRIED AND FEEL LOVE TO ANOTHER MANIM 28 Years old , i ve been in love with my collegue at collage but he traveled to work abroad after our graduation , we kept on contact with each other through the internet and we got married since six months ago , but my husband changed badly and i discovered many bad sides in him specially be became so stingy and keeps talking about money in a bad way and calculating everything , on the contrary me i dont like that i enjoy life and playing music also i love my jod and succeeded so much in my carrier found him very boring and has no intreset in life but money ,we became so diffrent , and then he traveled again after tow months of our marriage to continue his work , so i decided to be happy and enjoy my old life again , then i met a mn with me in a course and we became friends telling me his problems with his wife and he wanted to divorce her , i felt attracted to him but i convenced him not to divorce her for the good of his kids , we became so close and he confessed that he cant live without me i regret meeting him so late after i got married at the same time im afraid from my self to love him deeper and be unfaithful to my husband though i dont love him now , and im sure that the new one is waitting to tell him my love but i cant while im married , should i ask for divorce
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (18 February 2008):
 If love is gone with the wind, there is no point staying in a relationship.
If you are incompatible, then better you go separate ways and find your own happiness.
But your relationship with a married man is fraught with dangers because he may not leave his wife and you only get heartbreaks and heart aches.
You are jumping out of the frying pan into the hot oil. Both will also burn you..
Find another single man.
A
male
reader, Namatjira  +, writes (18 February 2008):
This is such a difficult situation because no matter what you choose people will get hurt.
A general piece of advice is to end one relationship before getting involved in another. The complications (and there can be many) will only get much much worse if two relationships overlap.
Before you can contemplate starting a relationship with this new guy you need to decide if your marriage should end for its own reasons (not because you have found another guy). If you do think it is over, even if you did not have another man, then end it. Get everything wrapped up and tidy (well as tidy as they can be).
This is not something you should discuss with the new man. If you are not sure of the reasons for ending the marriage, then consider a relationship counsellor for you and your husband. You never know it might be possible to fix things okay or you both might realise that it was a mistake and should end. Either way it is more honest for all concerned. It may also give you some insight into the true feelings and motivations of your husband and maybe he has been thinking along similar lines for himself.
Only once it is all over can you then genuinely contemplate another relationship, maybe with this new guy and maybe not. If at this point he is still with his wife you should in all fairness consider him off limits until he has put his own life in order and ended his relationship through divorce. You may be surprised (as unfortunately so many women are) that he really does not want to end the marriage and that it was all talk. At least if that happens you will know that you ended your marriage for its own reasons and not because of him and will still be free to get involved with someone else with your honour and pride intact.
Whatever you do give your self time to get to know people (including your husband) well in many situations before making important life decisions. Take it from someone who has learned the hard way.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008): I have been in this situation before, on both ends.First, my ex-wife fell in love with another man. We are now divorced. It is for the better at this point.It's a pretty standard rule that people do not leave relationships unless they have another relationship to go to. But ask yourself if jumping to another relationship immediately is going to be good for you, or him for that matter. If you truly cannot live with your current husband, then leave. But don't make "a new" relationship the reason. It's not going to work out for either of you if you do.Secondly... Do not demonize your current husband as means of justifying your want to leave. i.e. I hate it when my husband leaves his underwear on the bedroom doorknob. If you do, you will find yourself hating things that your new relationship partners will do, and being a hypocrit in the process.It's this simple. It's dangerous to build a new relationship at the same time as destroying an old one. If he loves you, he will wait for you to complete your divorce process, so that he can help build a new relationship with you clean from the beginning.
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