A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I would really appreciate some advice on this issue that is making me worry, to the point where i am almost being sick.I am due to go away with a group of friends in 2 weeks time to go to Greece for 2 and a half weeks. The problem is that these friends sort of like to use me as a doormat, and cos i'm nice, i don't want to argue with them and have a fight so i just let it happen. I know that when we go away for the holiday, this will happen then, 'don't do this, don't do that' or 'god you can't wear that, what are you thinking?!' or telling me off for saying something that i thought might be a nice thing to say.. but apparently is not. I hate the person that i am when i'm with them.. usually i am confident in myself, but with them i am not at all. My dad doesn't think i should go and is worried about me, and tells me i'm being walked all over by my 'friends' and that i should just stay and not worry about what they will think of me. I am worried that they will hate me and say nasty things about me if i don't go, and when they get back, they will come to my house and shout at me and tell me what a bad friend i am and that i've let them all down. I just feel like drinking my sorrows away, and i know that's bad. I really don't know what to do... someone please help! What should i do?? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Elydiese  +, writes (2 July 2010):
I would tell you exactly what your dad is telling you, they are not friends at all, i dont think its good for you to go on holiday with these people as you'll probably eventually blow up at them this will be 24/7 with these people non stop, so its not like you can get away from it all. I think you should make new friends, cut contact with these idiots and dont take any notice to what they say
A
female
reader, jvjvjvjv +, writes (2 July 2010):
My advice would be to NOT go on this holiday and to stop seeing these so-called friends. Yes it needs some confidence to walk away from this, but this is absolutely not a friendship. This is bitchiness and abuse of the friendship you have given them. Yes they will talk if you don't go, but it sounds like they will talk even if you do go, and then you'll feel bad for having gone and letting yourself down. I'm sorry to say that they sound downright awful and not worth your friendship. Please do not give them the honour. Walk away. (Or, yes, like eyeswideopen says, you could also stand up to them but by the sounds of it there are a few of them so that would need some serious courage - so don't worry if you can't do it, no shame in walking away)By the way, in case you're worried about striking up new friendships please do not let this set a precedent. They are absolutely not the norm. Good luck xx
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (2 July 2010):
 Wow, you need to make some new friends. Either that or you need to grow a backbone and stand up to those people. You are responsible for them treating you poorly. You make yourself the doormat. You aren't being "nice" by the way, you are being a coward. Stand up for yourself and if they don't like it, then they can go jump in the lake.
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