A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I apologise in advance. Married 8 years.. 4 yr old daughter and currently 27 weeks pregnant.. But it's a loveless emotionless marriage. I feel so lonely and neglected. But when I discuss with husband he gets defensive and puts blame back on me. He seems happy to continue as we are but I'm feeling miserable- maybe hormones make me seem worse but I don't know what to do.. Not even sleeping right over it all.. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (14 April 2016):
 Sorry to hear about this. Having a child, as you well know, is one of the most stressful times in a couple's life.
You don't go into specifics about your situation so there could be a lot of things going on. Your husband *could* be right as well -- at least on a few accounts.
Since your husband isn't willing to talk to you about the issues, I think it would be best for you to see a therapist, if possible. Having an independent party listen to your problems and offer suggestions can be a godsend. They can help you sort out what might be hormones and what you can do to change your situation. They can also give you the tools and steps necessary to extract yourself from your marriage -- if that's the route you want to take.
I hope you take stock of your situation, before making any leap. Being a single parent -- especially for a woman -- is extremely difficult. Also divorce and eventual new (step)parents have a definite affect on your children. I understand your happiness is at stake, but it will come at a price. Know going in, what that is going to cost you.
Either way to get what you are looking for, I hope you take some steps by either seeking outside help (at least for you) or working on listening to the possibly legitimate complaints that your husband may have and try to find compromises for both of you. Your children's happiness and family life is at stake.
Eddie
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2016): Is it possible that he's shopped showing you any affection because you've stopped showing him any? If you started instigating affection is it possible that the bond between you might grow again? I agree seeing a professional is probably a good idea.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (13 April 2016):
 It is more than likely your husband is getting defensive because he feels you are blaming him for the situation you are both in. Maybe you both need to see a professional and talk things through in a calm environment?
If you are so unhappy then I suggest telling him it is make or break. You both need to work hard or else it is over, if he still refuses help or to talk to you about it, then I suggest a trial separation to allow you both to think about what you want.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 April 2016):
 Do you have the opportunity to move out, if only for a short period? Take some time apart?
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