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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: now a lot of women hit on me...why I don't know, I am straight....anyway here's my issue so i needed 2 use another coworkers comp so I found one which was unfortunately by my freaky coworker and she just said 2 me, so you are going be my cute desk buddy, just smiling with all 32 teeth...I said uh hell no....she smirked and said so you don't wanna be...see I knew she was freak/had a thing for me ....eeeewww sick the fact she called me cute, told the story right there...who calls their coworkers cute.....she's around my age 30's ...I swear every job I go too there's always some chic hitting on me or flirting with me...so gross ...anyway folks are saying if women hit on you then you are giving off some kinda gay vibe...I don't think that's they case, I just think they find me attractive and that is all...while it is gross I don't think they think im gay...this seems to happen 2 me at every job im at, some chic is crushin.....what do you think....
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (29 July 2017):
 I am obviously missing something. Someone pays you a compliment and instantly you assume they are "hitting" on you? I pay people (male and female) compliments all the time because I think it makes for a pleasanter world. I can't, however, recall the last time I was "hitting" on someone. Most of it is just being sociable and pleasant. For instance, if the young girls at work at going out straight from work, I will tell them they are look gorgeous. I am not gay. I am not "hitting" on them. I am simply being pleasant and helping them feel good about themselves.
If you are as physically attractive as you obviously believe, then many people will smile at you and give you compliments. Why don't you just smile graciously, thank them and carry on instead of making assumptions about their motives? They are not, after all, groping you or pressuring you into anything. What is wrong with being called "cute" anyway? Not exactly an insult, is it? Or has the meaning of the word changed recently?
A
male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (29 July 2017):
 This woman might be strong enough to not have to hide her lesbian side, and when she said so your be my cute desk buddy and smiled does not say she was hitting on you and if she was it is because you don't have lesbian or bisexual stamped on your forehead, It is a pity that you see her as a freak and not just as a co-worker if it was a guy that flirting with you would you take it as an insult I think not so don't take it at a reflection of something you are giving off, We all have being trained to look for stereotypes in every thing, like if I ask you what is a stereotype of a truck driver or a farmer or any job we have preconceived ideas as what we imagine these people to be and look like, but often we get it all wrong and in the same way we want to often fit into our stereotype, I would advise you to be kind to this coworker and if she does happen to take your kindness as any thing more let her know you're not interested, she will pick up on that faster than a man,
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (29 July 2017):
 When I worked as a bartender I got hit on by, well everyone, men, and women.
Why? I think because I was generally more "friendly" and "social" than some of the other bartenders. I would remember faces and names.
We all WORE the same uniforms so I wasn't more "butch" or whatever stereotype people have for lesbians.
What I found though was the females who hit on me (and other female bartenders) were VERY aggressive in their pursuit. Like the kind of person who would hit on 20 people in hopes that 1!! might bite. They didn't really CONSIDER that the person they were hitting on might not be bi or lesbian they just wanted SOMEONE, ANYONE to give them attentions.
So my guess is that you are a polite and usually friendly person and thus they feel "safe" hitting on you. Maybe because they are also used to people who are NOT bi/lesbians will tell them.
It's not you, it's them. That simple.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2017): What sort of work do you do? Do you like to dress in a "tomboy-fashion?" Never wear skirts? Prefer masculine sneakers and shirts over more feminine attire? Do you cut your hair really short? Do you work in a women's prison?
Just giving you a list of stereotypical stuff homophobes use to "out" women or single-out females they suspect to be lesbian. Sometimes gay women use these same stereotypes against them. Some females have very masculine or boyish-features; or mannerisms that can be mistaken. Once they know you're not, they don't care anymore.
All the offensive commentary is unnecessary.
If it happens so frequently; then you must choose jobs that are popular with lesbians. Once they know you're not interested, they'll lose interest in you.
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