A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i need some help, and have two questions.1. about 4 months ago i split up with my boyfriend of 15 months but told him that i still loved him and wanted to go out with him again at some point in the future, which i genuinely did - i even spent a few nights with him over the next month. but i slowly started falling for his friend and eventually we got together, while my ex was still under the impression that we were going to get back together. i did eventually tell him 2 weeks later that i was sorry and that we couldnt be together and that i was seeing his friend. he took it really badly, hes lost loads of weight, is drinking heavily (very out of character for him). but despite all this, even though i know that he is still really upset, he continues to stick by me and help me out whenever im in some sort of trouble - when i had a big row with my new boyfriend i went to him (really unfair on my part, i know) because he says that while we dont go out anymore he has my best interests at heart and just wants to see me happy. im ever so appreciative and i want to see him happy as well. i really want to show him that i care about him but i dont want to give him the impression that im interested in getting back together with him.2. i love my new boyfriend. weve sacrificed a lot to be together- as i said above we were both friends with my ex and have the same group of mates - alot of which have voiced their disapproval of what weve done. but again as i said above we had a massive row the night that we told all our friends that we were seeing each other (although my ex already new, he can read me like a book) and he said some things to me that upset me more than anything anyone has ever said to me. he also keeps making comments about other girls and, having been his friend before i started seeing him, i know what he can be like with women - he slept with one of my best friends sisters and didnt even care when my friend got annoyed with him about it and because of this i have this niggling feeling that he is going to really hurt me again because he does seem so unbelievably selfish sometimes, only caring about himself. should i speak to him about it?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, nicola79 +, writes (26 February 2007):
 This ex sounds so so sweet,but you cant make your self love someone, he will do anything for you by the sounds of things,he doesnt want to see you get hurt.
This new boyfriend sounds like he loves his self,but its only you at the end of the day that can decide what you really want.
But if you do have another row please do not go crying to your ex,its so unfair and he proablly thinks he is in with a chance.
Do the right thing flower,I wish you all the best. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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