A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am battling to come to terms with the fact that a man who left me is now engaged to be married late this year. I still want him and I thought and prayed that he comes back to me. He hasn’t and now I feel that even though I prayed God decided to give him the happiness of marrying someone else and he totally didn’t hear my prayer and decided to let me be with my unhappiness which I feel is really unfair. I’m starting to feel like I was born to be treated like shit. My parents divorced, I was molested by my cousin who I cannot stand to be near but he feels I owe him something, I have been dumped three time and you know what the funny thing is….through all this I was the one praying for happiness, love and successful relationships and prayed to get help coz going through my parents divorce and all this time God granted these guys all the great things but I have got the complete opposite. Am I wrong to feel like God has deserted me in that respect? It’s not fair. I have prayed and asked and all but they get the blessings? I don’t understand…please help me understand…………I want to be with the man whom I love instead of settling for a man because I feel no one else will want me, I want to forget my cousin molesting me and my mother dying of a broken heart. How come these people are so happy and I feel like shit every single day? What did I ever do that was so wrong that God doesn’t want to listen to me…? i know i am feeling sorry for myself, maybe if atleast one thing out of all this was a good thing then i wouldnt have to feel sorry for my self, and you know, if things are going bad i will pitty myself coz the people who kee saying 'stop feeling sorry for yourself have no idea what so ever......
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008): Look around you, i saw a guy on tv that had come back from Iraq paralised from the neck down. I was sitting outside a shop and saw a blind guy with dog trying to cross the road. Remember there is always someone worse off than yourself. Next time you pray thank God for you blessings.
Good luck
A
female
reader, Jovial +, writes (17 April 2008):
 Hi
I think all the aunts said what needed to be said. all i want to add is whatever is said doesnt change how you feel because you are the one with powers and capacity to choose who you want to be.
Yes you were abused, you lost your mother, you grew up in a dysfunctional family while all you wanted was some love and happiness because thats what every child deserves. However after all this horrible things you have been through have you find it in your to forgive yourself? you might have forgiven all this men but have you given yourself what is due to you?
the reasone you feel this resentment towards God its because you resent yourself you said you feel like shit which means you see yourself as a dump where everyone dumps garbage and moves to better things.
have you ever thought that it might be so because you push this people away because of your self resentment and they are also unable to accept you because you cant accept yourself?
You need to love yourself before you feel loved because no matter how much love people will give to you, you will never notice because all you want is to feel better about yourself. Learn to move past this pain and hatred and accept who you are and find something positive you can live up to. Some people are gifted with giving loving and caring for others after such ordeal find your purpose look for something positive you can do out of your misery there has to be a talent somewhere search your heart and ask yourself which lesson is God sending to me through all this pain?
This exes might have left you because God knew they will hurt you and his way of keeping you safe from harm was to make sure they stay away from you. Everything happens for a reasons either good or bad it will always pains us but it is our responsibility to shape our pain to something wonderful in our lives. so cry if you have to but dont let pain paralyse your hopes and dreams for the future.
Jovial
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  + ♥, writes (17 April 2008):
 Hi,
I am not at all religous and dont really understand how people can put their faith in someone that lets so much bad happen in the world. )That doesnt mean I'm not wrong by the way, its just my opinion, and I hope there is someone out there that is looking over me.
But in a way, I really think that you need to change your life, and the way you think. Bad things happen to lots of people sweetheart! and its not always there fault. You didnt last with these men because they wernt right for you, you have yet to meet the right person.
Your cousin is a bad person, one of many I'm affraid. You owe him nothing, so dont let him make you feel like you do.
Next time you meet a man, be more choosey, let him make the first move. I am sure you will meet the right person, you have been looking in the wrong place that's all.
You should take comfort in your beliefs, and be a little stronger. Remember there is always someone worse off than ourselves.
XXX Take care
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers + ♥, writes (17 April 2008):
You are lucky. You met guys who showed themselves to be idiots and beneath you before you got married and before there were kids involved.
You need to figure out what your dream in life is. As far as I can see there is nothing keeping you in your home town except bad memories. Get away and do something with yourself.
If you place yourself in situations where good things can happen, then they will. If you sit at home feeling bad nothing can happen. God can't send decent men through your windows, but he can make sure you meet them if you get out there and make something of yourself.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 April 2008):
 God help those who help themselves.
I wonder if we are talking of the same God.
If you know the real God , you will know the truth
and the truth will set you free.
When I lost everything , I never lost my faith in God.
He gave me back many folds what I lost
Praise Him.
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister  + ♥, writes (17 April 2008):
 Annalisa saved the day here! What a way to infuse positivity and a good example of it.
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A
female
reader, Annalisa + ♥, writes (17 April 2008):
 God is always by your side, listening to your prayers and guiding your path. Keep praying through your sorrow, but perhaps you need to change the way you pray:
trust in God to take care of you and pray for others!
Be proactive in your faith, learn from your past, accept that your ex was not the man meant for you.
True prayer acts as a listening channel with God, He will show you what he actually wants from you, what will make you happy. Think of the passion of Jesus, his fear and sorrow when he prayed in the garden of Gethsemane, sweating blood and praying that the Father might change His plan, yet He gained strength in saying "Thy will, not mine, be done!" and he went through all that pain.
Do you have the booklet "The Secret of Happyness-The magnificent prayers of Saint Bridget of Sweden"?
You can look it up on the internet and buy it for a small offer, if not. But here is one of the meditations from it:
"My soul is sorrowful even unto death. Stay here and watch.
(St.Mark XIV-34)
O Jesus, through the abundance of Thy love, and in order to overcome our hardheartedness, Thou pourest out torrents of Thy graces over those who reflect on Thy most Sacred Sorrow in the Garden of Gethsemane, and who spread devotion to it. I pray Thee, move my soul and my heart to think often, at least once a day, of Thy most bitter Agony in the Garden of Gethsemane, in order to communicate with Thee and be united with Thee as closely as possible.
O Blessed Jesus, Thou, who carried the immense burden of our sins that night, and atoned for them fully; grant me the most perfect gift of complete repentant love over my numerous sins, for which Thou didst sweat blood.
O Blessed Jesus, for the sake of Thy most bitter struggle in the Garden of Gethsemane, grant me final victory over all temptations, especially over those which I am most subjected.
O suffering Jesus, for the sake of Thy inscrutable agonies, during that night of betrayal, and of Thy bitterest anguish of mind, enlighten me, so that I may recognise and fulfil Thy will; grant that I may ponder continually on Thy heart-wrenching struggle on how Thou emerge victoriously, in order to fulfil, not Thy will, but the will of the Father.
Be Thou blessed, O Jesus, for all Thy sighs on that holy night; and for the tears which Thou didst shed for us.
Be Thou blessed, O Jesus, for Thy sweat of blood and terrible agony, which Thou didst suffer lovingly in coldest abandonment and in inscrutable loneliness.
Be Thou blessed, O sweetest Jesus, filled with immeasurable bitterness, for the prayer which flowed in trembling agony from Thy Heart, so truely human and divine.
Eternal Father, I offer Thee all the pst, present and future Masses together with the blood of Christ shed in agony in the Garden of Sorrow at Gethsemane.
Most Holy Trinity, grant that the knowledge and thereby the love, the agony of Jesus on the Mount of Olives will spread throughout the world.
Grant, O Jesus, that all who look lovingly at Thee on the Cross, will also rember Thy immense Suffering on the Mount of Olives, that they will follow Thy example, learn to pray devoutly and fight victoriously, so that, one day, they may be able to Glorify Thee eternally in Heaven. Amen."
Jesus Himself has dictated this prayer in a vision and promised many graces to those who say it daily and introduce it to others.
Message me if you want to talk farther, I've used all my space here! God bless you!
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A
female
reader, Ask oldersister + ♥, writes (17 April 2008):
"I’m starting to feel like I was born to be treated like shit". Poster, I can't tell you how many times I've felt like this and I've been through this as well. I think in almost every single boyfriend I've had gets married after we break up- I'm everybody else's good luck charm.
My parents are divorced as well and I didn't have the easiest childhood either and I used to have this belief that this somehow entitled me to a better future and this very same belief did the opposite. No one owes me a future, life is difficult and once these two things are truly accepted by you, your perspective about life will change. God did not desert you, God just can't get through to you in your current state- you are blocking God out and most of your friends, sounds like.
"How come these people are so happy and I feel like shit every single day?" Do you know how many times I have asked myself this question? Do you know how many times asking this has gotten me nowhere? The fact is, poster, you don't know if they are happy but yes, sometimes good things happen to shitty people. You don't know if all this wonderful they are being fed will crumble in the worst way later- let those thoughts go.
Why doesn't God listen to you? It's you that's not listening, it's you that is complaining, whining, bitching, moaning and indulging in your own pity party. CUT IT OUT. Go hit a pillow or scream at the top of your lungs, but get out of this self defeating, self indulgent, low energy, passive mentality.
When I get like this and one of my favorite saying during my pity parties is "I was just born wrong" and I'll call one of my friends and start laughing about how pathetic I am and I let it go. It's your responsibility to change this or you will be miserable and make everyone else miserable. I was told once that there is a secondary gain for this type of behavior meaning you get something pleasurable out of it- attention, sympathy, whatever but it's the wrong kind of attention.
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A
female
reader, Confuddled77 +, writes (17 April 2008):
 Sometimes you have to meet the wrong ones to get to the right one. As a Christian I know how frustrating it can be when you ask for things and it gets denied. But God knows best and he's got something great in store for you. God never lets his children down, even though some people think that, he only wants best for us.As human beings we are often so impatient. His timing is not the same as ours. He doesn't work according to hours or minutes, months or years. Some people go through life completely miserable only to find true happiness in their later years. From your age group I can see that you're still young, even though you might not think so. Be happy within yourself and it will all come together. Forgive those that have wronged you and ask God to bless them further and you will be blessed in return. Through doing that people will see how happy you are and will want to be with you. What we want for ourselves isn't naturally what he wants for us. Good luck and God Bless
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A
male
reader, madflash +, writes (17 April 2008):
 I am not religious anymore, but I used to be very religious.Now do not assume I stopped being religious because God would not grant my prayers. He did not always grant them. That's true. But I never blamed him when he didn't, at least not when I grew older and wiser.God is not in the business of granting wishes. That's a Genie or a leprechaun. God is not obligated to make you happy or make your dreams come true. So who is then? YOU ARE! That's who.You have failed yourself. Don't blame it on anyone else. It isn't the men in your life that have failed you and it isn't God.You need to learn to be grateful for the good things you have. Not just acknowledging them, but truly grateful. I am certain there are some things you have that are going completely overlooked when you talk about God not granting your prayers.Yes. It sucks to be alone, lonely, unloved, formerly abused and neglected. I've lost my mother recently too. My wife left me for another man 16 years ago, and the girl I fell deeply in love with after my marriage, well she left me too, for a doctor. Both of them are very happy with the men they left me to be with. But I'm not bitter toward them. If I were I would only be hurting myself.I want to be happy. I'm alone and have not had 'relations' with a woman in four years. This stinks because I'm a very passionate male and also very romantic and loving. Also, my mother was the only family I was close to. There is no one else.Now I know your situation is different than mine and I don't know what you have been through. But what I do know is that we choose to be happy or to be bitter. God does not choose for us. We choose.I once saw an old man with no family who was living in the poorest section of a third world country laughing and smiling as he ate garbage. It affected me profoundly. What prayer did God answer for him... a meal of garbage? If that toothless, diseased old man, who had no one in his life to love or to love him, could laugh and love life like it was a precious gift, even when he had so little and nothing but garbage for a meal, why couldn't I, who have so much more than he could imagine, simply decide to feel like he felt?Happiness is not a reaction to your situation. It's a state of being. And you can choose to react to any situation with bitterness, or with the supreme grace to be happy despite your situation.Good luck and may GOD BLESS YOU with the grace to grant yourself happiness.
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