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I'm so scared of giving a blow job!

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 June 2009) 9 Answers - (Newest, 29 July 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:

I'm 20 and I've NEVER given a blow job!

I don'tknow how to, I was always scared of doign it wrong. All my life I've been scared of almost EVERYTHING. I was 17 when I had my FIRST boyfriend after bing scared of relationships. And 19 when I FIRST had sex nd that was after I calmed down from the nerves of sex for the first time. But i still think I've forced myself into dong all these things just for the sake of it.

Why am I so scared of things like this when other women/ or even girls can't wait to do it. Ther are 16 year olds who know how to give a blow job and I don't. The thing is I'm planning on giving my boyfriend a BJ and I've never done it before, I know I feel ready an being scared is my way of doing things. I'm not forcing myself into this, I just need some advice from you guys. Could you perhaps send me a link to a website on techniques o tell me about your first time?

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A male reader, olderthandirt United States +, writes (29 July 2010):

olderthandirt agony auntJust google ligham massage for an even more effective way to give your man supreme pleasure..you won't need to give a BJ unless you want to.

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A female reader, inquisitivequiet United States +, writes (10 July 2010):

To be nervous around nudity or sex is completely natural. I'm only eighteen- but I am extremely afraid of the male sex when I haven't had a committed relationship. I'm afraid of looking at the male penis because it makes me nervous and flighty- but when I am in a relationship with someone that I care about- it comes with passion. I think that you will be just fine. Fellatio is a tricky thing to do- because every man has his own desires. I know that my boyfriend likes the slight grazing of teeth against the head of his penis. It just depends- if you're shy to ask, don't ask at first- just experiment. I wouldn't recommend doing the teeth thing though, unless he literally asks you to- because it can be painful if you aren't careful. By all means, take your time. I know that when I first gave a bj, I hated it and I couldn't stand it because the boy that I gave it to was uncircumcised, and he forced me to do it (not literally, but he pushed me head some times and I hated that) Just do what you're comfortable with at first, because when you're the most comfortable, you're the most confident. It's a proven fact that most men enjoy oral sex when they're mates appear to enjoy giving oral sex. Just go slow and do it with a satisfied look on your face! The more you do it- the more adventurous you will become and you will be desensitized to the anxiety of oral sex. It just takes time and self-confidence. You'll get it- don't worry! And if you ever want to try something new, just google tips- or watch a few soft-core porn videos specifically on fellatio- it may feel dirty at first, but it's always best to learn from the women who make blow-jobs a part of their living. :)

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A male reader, heartfullalove Ireland +, writes (3 July 2009):

heartfullalove agony auntSex shops. Go for the nice, chick-friendly, gorgeously decorated places like Ann Summers, where I'm sure the staff will be happy to help you choose, rather than the seedy ring-doorbell-for-entry dives.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Where do you get those kinda DVD's?

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A female reader, infiel United States +, writes (30 June 2009):

yes, defiantly take things slow don't rush into it and try to get it over with. I myself was 19 going on 20 when I lost my virginity and did my first BJ. First hope and pray his is trimmed. lol Start off by slowly and softly kissing him on the inside of his thighs by his balls. Lick your lips and continue towards his testicles, lick and suck on them not to hard be gentle. On his testicles if you softly lift them with your hand and lick under the testicles it's called Perineum, Google Perineum, and try to find a picture. Lick and suck on that area. Go back to the testicles work your way up on his shaft then to his head lick and suck and slowly stroke with your mouth down and up. Take it easy so you can figure out how fast and how low you can go. Don't worry if you gag it happens. You could try this in different positions. And if you start to gag to much go down to his testicles until you calm down then continue to his head and stroke with your mouth. And don't be shy about telling him you've never done it. He might like the fact that he will be your first. Good Luck

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A male reader, paul33 United States +, writes (30 June 2009):

Its not that bad giving a guy a blow job. I have giving a few guys blow jobs and I love it. Just take your time for being your first. Its not that bad. Just be yourself. Paul.

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A female reader, Olivia(Y). United Kingdom +, writes (30 June 2009):

Olivia(Y). agony auntIf you really want to then plan what you are going to do in your head before you do it.

You could focus on the top of his penis first then slowly work your way down or do something completely different.

Men will like anything you do down there with your mouth because they have lots of nerve endings which are very sencitive.

Just take things slow and do it at your pace :)

Good luck

Livia

xoxox

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A male reader, heartfullalove Ireland +, writes (30 June 2009):

heartfullalove agony auntKellyxxx is spot on. BUT I'd make sure you take your cue from nice, amateur porn featuring real couples (DVDs like 'Pleasing Your Man', or sites like youporn have some really nice stuff) rather than the sort of sick porn which just shows extremely troubled young women being treated horrifically by sick near-rapists who are probably on steroids. That's no place to learn anything about how to give good oral, or anything at all about real, proper sex.

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A female reader, kellyxxx United Kingdom +, writes (30 June 2009):

kellyxxx agony auntJust watch some porn scenes! X

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