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I'm so scared! I don't want to be a lesbian, but I'm not sure if I am one or not?

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 December 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 1 January 2011)
A female United States age 18-21, anonymous writes:

i think i might have HOCD (homosexual ocd). im so scared of being a lesbian. i would rather die. i just recently got over my hocd when i found a MALE crush. ive never had a crush on a girl. im not romantically attracted to them. however, ive known since i was 11 that im bisexual, and im only physically attracted to girls. last night i had a dream that i kissed my female friend (i dont have a crush on her) and i liked it and wanted to kiss her again. i still do. i havent seen my crush in a while so the feelings for him are fading. im so scared i dont want to be a lesbian. am i or not?

-im 14. ive never kissed a boy OR girl.

-when i have a crush on a guy, i always end up finding him sexually attractive, i just fall in "like" with him because of his personality first

-i cant bring myself to have a crush on a girl, i never have. i do find them sexually attractive and i would kiss/ eventually have sex with girls. i would have sex with men, but only in a commited relationship.

-men dont gross me out or turn me off. they OCCASIONALLY turn me on. usually if i have a crush on them only.

View related questions: crush, lesbian

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2011):

Gay, Hetero, Bi... it doesn't really make a difference. You are what you are and running from it will only hurt you and others in the long run.

Besides, you are not old enough to form a label on yourself yet.

You cannot at your age trully know what you will be in the future. Hormones are pulsating through your bloodstream like it's nobodies business in order to get you ready to incubate a child should you ever decide to have one.

Once your body stops producing these body-altering hormones in such quantities that it clouds your judgement (ie. you will be having these dreams alarmingly frequently because your body if wanting you to have sex. A lot. It would have you do nothing else if it had it's way)... then you can look deep into your soul and mind and decide what you are.

Until then, chill. Your sexual preference does not change the person you are. Just who you sleep with.

Flynn 24

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010):

hey, well there is nothing wrong with being bi-sexual at all but considering you have never kissed a boy or a girl you will not know how you feel until you do. ive kissed a girl before but im not bi-sexual, or lesbian im into men completely, and you may find girls sexually attractive and fantasize about them but when you kiss one you may feel completely differently!, you may enjoy it and want more and if its the same feelings towards men then yes you are bi-sexual, but say you a kiss i girl you may find it disgusting and this will confirm that your straight but until then you cant really say wether your a complete lesbian or not, your only young so until you experience stuff with girls and boys you cant really say, but dont be scared of becoming one, or really not wanting to be one, because if you are then its who you are, and the more scared you become of it and the more that phobia develops youll convince yourself that you are, so just take each day as it comes, and be proud of who you are!

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