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I'm so jealous that my bf "'cuddled up" with my friend when he was drunk! What should I do?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 April 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 2 April 2007)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

ok i just want to know if im just being over-jealous for no reason. a friend ("andy") has told me he really likes me and wants to be with me but i think he might just be playing me because the other night a group of our friends went out but i couldnt make it. when i met up with one of my friends ("lucy") the next day she said how her and andy got really drunk and left the club. he walked her home and then they sat outside on a bench talking till like 5am and then they went to his house to get something to eat which is fair enough but then she said how they were sat on the sofa and she said "he cuddled up to me" and then when she fell asleep he kept gently blowing in her face and things to wake her up. is it me or does this sound really intimate?! they had sobered up alot by the time they went in his house.

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (2 April 2007):

AskEve agony auntIt all depends if you trust your boyfriend. How long have you both been together? Have you any reason not to trust him? I would give the jealousy a miss though.

Feelings such as jealousy are based on fear and do not come from love at all, we say we feel like this BECAUSE we love the person but this isn't the case at all. Jealousy comes from wanting to possess and wanting to own or have. One cannot own another being or even the mind of another being. One being cannot live for another. Remember that FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear immobilizes and makes it virtually impossible for people to think effectively because it bypasses the pre frontal cortex and goes directly to your right brain emotional center and is thus not even analyzed first!

Feelings such as guilt and worry are in the same category. See what benefits you could possibly derive from sitting in your favourite chair and contemplating as well as experiencing these feelings intensely for a few hours? None of course because they do not deliver any benefit other than getting you into an even greater state of fear. So you see, that jealousy, guilt, fear and worry all belong in the trash bin because they do not deliver any benefit whatsoever. Love on the other hand will get you to understand and be less fearful. This in turn will make it possible for you to experience joy and bliss.

Remember always: You have a mind, your feelings come from your mind therefore you can control your feelings. In other words, YOU are in charge and nobody else. YOU determine the future. And you become what you THINK. Be careful because the universe will deliver that which you THINK!

Eve

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A male reader, nologo Ukraine +, writes (2 April 2007):

nologo agony auntThis question is about a definition of jealousy.

It really depends on you what you mean by the word.

Friend "has told me he really likes me and wants to be with me but i think he might just be playing".

What you think you should keep it to thinking if you have at least some romantic feelings to him.

Afterthought: maybe she just made this story up for you to see whether you will feel over-jealous.

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