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I'm so close to leaving her for her lack of respect for my beliefs and culture!

Tagged as: Age differences, Breaking up, Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 June 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 6 June 2012)
A male South Africa age 30-35, *ee jong writes:

me and my girl recently have some religous issues. We have a 1 year old female baby, i love her and she love me too. Previously we had issue about our age differences, she is 30 and i'm 22 but we manage to get rid of that. Now she doesn't respect my beliefs and culture(african) she wants me to change-abonding what my roots for her and follow the western culture. I told her that my god loves me like this as me not being someone else, if you require a suitable man to complete you, search you'll find. She just leave without saying good bye. I don't wanna change for anybody not that i don't care, i do love her a lot, when she met me she knew the drill. I'm about 80 percent to leave her but 20 thinking of the baby she might act stupid and block me to see the baby. Please help

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A female reader, shrodingerscat United States +, writes (6 June 2012):

shrodingerscat agony auntA few tips.

Don't stay together for the sake of a child. Relationships cannot be based around an innocent baby who did not ask to be brought into this world.

If she's a Westerner used to Western culture, she may not agree with your potentially much more conservative African culture which may possibly prevent you from giving her what she considers her rights as a human being. Many men from more conservative cultures do not allow their wives to do the things that normal Western women enjoy doing. If you cannot understand how difficult that must be for her, then you're doomed to be the end of your relationship.

Compromise is key.

Respecting someone's culture and FOLLOWING someone's culture are two different things. You need to learn the difference if you want to make it work with her.

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A male reader, Serpico United States +, writes (6 June 2012):

1 - Not to be Captain Obvious here, but should not these issues be worked about BEFORE you have a child together?

2 - I am an American of Northern European decent. My fiancee is South American of Colombian decent. We respect and enjoy each others cultures. It makes our relationship fun and interesting.

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