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I'm so broken, hurt, and confused!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Pregnancy, Teenage, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 December 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 17 December 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

So me and my ex have been together for two years on and off were just friends nows but he acts like he wants to be with me the only promblem is that he got a 15year old girl pregant im 18 and he is 20. Its been so hard to deal with because he been lieing to both me and her. he told me she knew about me and she said she didnt. She said they went together he told me they didnt. He be with me all the time with his family but when he is next to me he text her. but I dont think she even knows he be with me. She says she love him but I dont know. It hurts because I dont want to be the one to end up getting hurt when the baby comes. He going to start spending time with her. Im so confused of what to do. when I with him I feel like he mines but when im away I feel like im sharing him with anoter women. i hate feeling like that. I just want him to be upfront and tell me what it is that he want or who it is that he want instead of trying to keep both of us.

View related questions: my ex, text

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A female reader, lovelife1437 United States +, writes (17 December 2009):

If he looked you in the eyes and told you straight up it's his baby and want you as well, then obviously leave him. If it's his baby, it's going to be a long tormented road for you if you choose to stay in the relationship especially if he admitted that it's his baby. Then again, the on/off relationship that you're having with him is allowing him to communicate with other women. You either should have an established open relationship or no relationship at all if you want on/off. You're 15, enjoy being young. Stay away from him for a while, start hanging out with your family and friends more and recollect your thoughts. Good Luck! :-)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009):

Get away now! I know it's hard to hear and even harder to try to accept, but this boy (he doesn't deserve the title of a man) is quicksand. If he wants to mess around w/ underage girls and cheat on girlfriends, let him. On his own time. You can use the time that you would be spending with him to find someone worthy. If you don't want to leave him now, think about what it might be like down the road. Do you want to look at the girl he cheated on you with every other weekend? Do you want to have to answer her phone calls? It's alot to swallow and the fact that a baby is the result of his carelessness just makes it that much worse. The damage is done, you deserve better.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (17 December 2009):

He's a liar, a cheat, and clearly into very young girls. You can do better. Focus on your own life and your own future now. You have more to live for than this guy and this failing relationship.

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (17 December 2009):

k_c100 agony auntWell even if he said he wants you over her, he will still be tied to this girl for the next 18+ years because of the child. So you will always be "the other woman" even though he was dating you first.

To put it simply - this guy is a liar, a cheat and a pretty poor excuse for a man! Do you really want to be with someone who is happy to treat you like this? Do you not deserve better?

This poor 15 year old will most probably be in love with your boyfriend, after all she is carrying his child! She will love him just as much as you do, only with the added part that your boyfriend is the father of her baby, which is a new level of love.

I know it will be hard for you but the right thing to do is to walk away, there is nothing left for you in this messed up relationship anymore. Your boyfriend needs to man up and start looking after this poor girl he has gotten pregnant, and start earning some serious money to pay for his baby! You need to leave him to get on with this weird little family he is going to have soon - there will be no room for you.

You dont need this jerk in your life, all he has done is hurt you so now is the time to take control of your life and move on. Nothing good can come of you staying with this guy, so now is the time to get rid of him and find yourself a man who will treat you right!

I hope this helps and good luck!

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A male reader, Lee Adama United Kingdom +, writes (17 December 2009):

Lee Adama agony auntWell, in a completely bastard like way he has told you everything you need to know. He's 20 & he's gotten a 15yr old child pregnant..... which is statutory rape at the bare minimum.

You're only 18 yourself, you've hardly had time to live or experience the world, or people & you're wondering if you should tie yourself to a man who's capable of impregnating a child! For the sake of your own self-esteem you need to get away from this immoral pervert, & quickly!

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