A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have been married for 22 years. I have had my share of problems. My husband is sometimes a really sweet person, which is why I am still married to him. Over the years we have gone through a lot of crap. The crap that was thrown at both of us from outside the relationship, I can deal with. However, there was a lot of crap from him. He became addicted to drugs for almost 6 years. During which time I left him over and over again to get away from the pain. I never got a divorce. Since my son was just a little boy, my husband was addicted to drugs. Here recently, atleast the last few years, He has been off the drugs, but the last year I have spent away from him because he didnt want to go to jail for driving under sus. So he left the State. I tried to make it on my own, and as everyone knows, there just are not that many jobs out there. When he left, I didnt even have my GED. I now have it, and started to go to college. Now I am not able to finish college as he has not filed his taxes. I filed mine, but could not afford divorce so I am still responsible for his. Out of desperation and curiousness, I moved 1000 miles away to live with him again. My son is constantly being called names like chicken and stuff from him. My husband gets irrate over stuff that normally people would just discuss. He threatens stuff like throughing stuff at us and yells, then makes fun of me because I have to bring my son into another room to get away from it. I want to leave him, and I really don't know how. I have no parents they are both deceased. He hasnt hurt me physically in all the years we have lived together, so I don't think he will. I do not like the emotional abuse he is using on me and my son though. I tried counceling, but he found a way out of that. I am at my wits end. Im tired of moving and tired of arguing. I want to look for work, but my husband is too hard on my son for me to feel able to leave him with him. I need advice.
View related questions:
divorce, drugs, emotionally abusive Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2010): I am not sure if anyone else has suggested this but every city has a women's center that can help you get the answers and help you need. Your situation is a tough one and I also have been there. Your son is going to be forever damaged by his father's name calling and seeing the abuse of you. Even if its just for the sake of your son and his psyche you should get out of this relationship. You are a loveable, worthy person and you don't deserve to be treated so disrespectfully. And also having been there done that, I can tell you that counseling will not work on with an abusive man, he will never see that he has a problem and work on it. Better to just say goodbye and start over, for yours and your son's sake. Good luck!
A
female
reader, Lulu Walls +, writes (19 July 2010):
 Sounds like yours has been a rocky road marriage... always a struggle and never any real rest. Been there. It sounds like you are better off without him. Do you have any relatives that could help you get away from this man? If not then check with churches in your area. They might be able to better direct you to what is available for someone in your situation. Most importantly NEVER GIVE UP fighting for what is best for your son and you!
...............................
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (19 July 2010):
 You want to leave him but don't know how??? You drove a 1000 miles to hell, and don't know how to leave??
Drive another 1000 miles in any direction away from the problem, that's how.
A fox digs a hole for itself, but always has a way out, and it's not the way it came in.
Do not distroy two lives because of one, who does care about his.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): Leave your husband. The emotional stress that your situation is causing youe child is not right. It will have a great effect on him mentaly which is almost worst than physical abuse. Save all of your money for a divorse. Find a shelter if you have to and stay there with your son until you find a job. You need to think of your son first get out of that relationship with your husband
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2010): Hello sister
First of all life is like that. Married life is no different, it has it's own ups and downs that you mentioned. at various phase of life, problems come and gets solved and new problem comes and get solved if you are togethor.
Trick is to think like one not two, all will be solved.
Obviously if he is falling you need to pull him up, as a wife this is your responsibility. boittom line is you need to face the life togethor to be happy.
remember Men do not try to share the problems, so you need to really be with him to get his issues shared to you and then he will be lot more changed person.
...............................
A
female
reader, johannabanana +, writes (19 July 2010):
 You need to get out of this out with your son. Try going to a volunteer place where you can make friends. When you have other people around you giving support you can leave your son in their care to find a job. Also you may be able to apply for financial aid.. You should check into that. Then after you save up some money (in an account separate from your husband) you can leave him and earn peace of mind. But make sure you lie about how much you are making so that your husband has to cover expenses other wise he will suck uo the money you work hard for and you will never get away from him.
...............................
|
