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I'm self conscious about my weight and small eyes, please help me!

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Question - (23 July 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 23 July 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

well im 12 years old and weigh 11 stone. im very concious about my weight. i dont look 11 stone but under all my clothes im a mess. this has put me of having a boyfriend and meeting new boys. all my friends have boyfriends and i dont. not alot of boys like me because im either fat or shy. plus i havent lost my virging lips yet and im scared because i dont know what to do. this is really getting me down. plus random people that dont even know me dont like me and im scared to go out because people threaten to jump me. i dont nothing wrong and i dont see the point in life at the moment. im out of shape and i dont know how to cope with the bullies. i have friends but the sarcastic people always let me down and people slag my face because my eyes ar small. please help thanks x jenny x

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A female reader, mamasaidknockyouout United States +, writes (23 July 2008):

bleh, oh yah, so when I was younger I was also picked on. I don't know about you, but you seem pretty smart. I would use my smarts to make the bullies feel stupid with what they're saying. by either making a sarcastic remark, playing along, or making fun of yourself before they do. for example, if they call you anything regarding your weight, say something like "oh yah good one, man, I'm glad you can be original." or "wow really! I never knew, thank you so much for making me aware!" or "omg are you serious? I couldve sworn I was 50lbs lighter when I woke up." or "i always knew you were a smart kid"

idk I used to say shit like that all the time lol

another thing I like to say is "i know, right?" haha, the way I say it STILL makes people feel retarded.

guuuuuurrrll, also. I'm half asian so I have small eyes too lol. I love it though, they're pretty sweet. do something fun like draw pictures of you and all your friends (my friend does this lol) and when you draw just exaggerate something on them, like a big nose or ears and for you, you can draw little specks for your eyes! lol. but make sure you're close enough with them that you guys can do that and make sure you don't offend them.

idk, I'm just thinking of ways of how I coped with my appearance (:

good luck hun.

btw you're still growing so as long as your height increases and your weight stays the same, or hopefully decreases, you'll appear more thin (: just wait a couple of years (: I'm sure 11 stones isn't that bad. (i still don't know what that means haha)

[Moderator's note: 1 stone = 6.35 kg = 14 pounds]

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2008):

I think this is more than a problem of what people think of you. You also have a bad image of yourself. I used to be 11 stone (and I am very short so figure) but exercise is the best diet. I walked alot, changed my diet and now I am still a little heavy for my height but I feel good about myself. When you are happy with yourself, peoples word don't really get to you so much. About your eyes sweetie..you have to learn to love them and luckily we live in a time when beauty is no longer defined for us as tall, skinny, blondes with big blue eyes...define beauty for yourself! Good luck hun x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2008):

thanks for all your help xxx

yeah i have an adult i can talk to and my mum and me are joining a gym when we go on holiday aswell.

thanks so much and il keep use updated

xxxxx

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A female reader, bubbloo24 Isle of Man +, writes (23 July 2008):

bubbloo24 agony auntI used to be like this and have this problem.. although I've never been threatened to be jumped on.

As the previous answerer said, it is the weak people who bullies like to pick on.

It's summer holidays soon, yeah? Over this time, you're gonna get some confidence and feel better about yourself.

Every morning, look in the mirror and say " I'm worth so much more than what they make out, and I'm not gonna be a push over anymore. I draw the line now."

During the summer, eat fruits, vegetables and exercise. Make yourself feel better by doing this and you will feel better in your appearance.

When you walk back into school, walk with your head held high and if anyone says anything to you, look at them, look them up and down and laugh - say "Yeah. Bye." Because they can't say much to that, and I can assure you it will annoy them because of this other than possibly name calling, but did you know that bullies tend to pick on other people as a self defence mechanism? They use it so that the attention is drawn off them and on to someone else - in other words, they are really self concious and have no self esteem. Just like you. They are no different. So my advice to you would be look at them in pity and laugh at them. You don't need to say anything if you don't want to.

Have you tried talking to your Mum about this? I would definitly talk to someone about the threats to do with being jumped on, because that is bang outta order.

You can do it hun, you just need to get more confident to realise you are worth so much more than them. Think of it like this - If they have to get their kicks by picking on other people, then they must have issues right? So feel sorry for them and laugh at their measly attempts to make the low lives seem higher!

Tak care hun, please talk to your parents or an adult whom you trust, there must be atleast one.

Let us know how you get on

xxxx

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A female reader, mamasaidknockyouout United States +, writes (23 July 2008):

two words.

fuck people.

I'm overweight, too and I don't know what the hell 11 stone means.

boys are lame, plus being 12, I doubt they're as important. they're all probably just dating to have a bf/gf. and that seems like that's why you want one, too.

first just start diet and exercising.

go swimming and go on walks and all that good stuff.

stop eating sweets and fried foods and drinking soda.

as for all the bullies, if its getting as bad as you think, tell an adult. people shouldn't be making threats to a12 year old because of her looks. that's fucked up.

gain som confidence and learn to stand upfor yourself.

bullies love weak people and that's what you're showing.

as for friends and new boys, just be happy and outgoing and put attention on yourself-not in the attention whore way. but more in the, 'hey look at me, I'm confident, happy and fun, I'm pretty sweet' way. eh I know it sounds cheesy (:

but you just gotta show some pride because people are attracted to that, just don't over do it (:

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