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female
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*ophielegs
writes: I have been working at a company for 3 years but for the last year I have been "seeing my boss", he is married. At first it started as a bit of fun for me but now I have true feelings for him. I met someone a couple of months ago but it didnt work out because I couldnt let go of my boss and he seemed to want me more. Im seriously considering leaving the company after christmas because I dont know whether I will ever be able to be happy with anyone whilst my boss is around. It will also do him a world of good because there will be no temptation.But the thought of leaving and not being able to see him makes me so sad. I love my job and where I work, but would it be for the best if I left. Or would I be simply running away from my problem??
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008): i got a chance to read this after all. i hope you by now you would have left your job and moved on to better things.. good going!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2007): Don't leave because of him... if your job is valuable to you keep it and lose him. You need to be strong enough to cut the ties of the affair. You need to love yourself and think about YOU. You are the priority in this situation. You may feel like you can't leave him but you can and hold strong. After you break it off be cordial but just professional with him no outside of work contact. Be strong and he will see that and feel like a jackass. You deserve someone better! Find someone better who can give you all his attention!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006): If you love your job, I am against your leaving it because of sex, or an affair. I hope your boss is decent a man enough to understand if you sit with him and maturely explain that you want to end the personal relationship but still continue the work. Are you able to do that? The results could be very positive for you.
1- He will respect you more. And IF he really is serious about his feelings ''not'' having you will make him more serious about envisaging a future with you.
2- You will feel proud of yourself for having self-control
I am in the same situation as you. But in my case, he wants a long-term relationship with me and I want a casual fling. I am now thinking about it. Like you, I debated with leaving the work. But like you, I love my work! At the moment I am still seeing him but trying to see less of him. Still NOT the solution, I know.
Best of luck to you and let us know what happens with you!
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (1 December 2006):
 Leaving the job is not running away from the problem, it is solving the problem.
You say that the boss seems to want you more. He does not want you enough if he is still married.
Either way you need to leave the company, if your boss's feelings are genuine he will leave his wife and have a proper relationship with you. At the moment he is having his cake and eat it.
How would you feel if someone put you in the shoes of his wife one day? Now, that will really hurt!
I dont mean to sound harsh but you need to face really.
Leave it, him and move on is my advice. This will give you more self respect also. Good luckxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2006): You would be saving yourself my love. Leave, regain your sense of self and find some morals as your married boss obviously can't
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