A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have recently broken up with a guy I have been seeing for 3 years. He is the only person i've had sex with and i'm scared to sleep with other people. Is this normal? I still feel like he is the only person I want to sleep with even though I don't want to be with him.I only feel confident with him, how to can I be confident with other people I don't really know as well?Help! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, OhGetReal  +, writes (14 February 2011):
 Sex should come as a natural development of trust and connection within an exclusive relationship. In short you can't put the cart before the horse and you don't owe sex to men you are dating as a service.
You will have sex with the right man at the right time and the right way for you.
Don't sweat it.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 February 2011):
 You recently broke up with this guy, who's telling you you need to jump in bed with another man already? Don't force yourself to anything.
You recently came out of a relationship with someone else, that is why you are feeling all these things. It is normal to not want anyone else right away, it is normal that it takes time to heal before you will even look at other guys. Take your time to get over your ex.
Once you are over your ex you will no longer feel that he is the only one for you, or that he is the only one you will have sex with. You think this way because your heart and brain is still committed to him. It takes time to let go.
When you meet a new man that will be good for you, he will make you feel comfortable and relaxed. Don't worry about it. If he doesn't make you feel comfortable then he's not the man for you! No one is telling you you have to sleep with anyone you don't feel comfortable with. But there will come a man or two in your future that will most definitely sweep you off your feet and make you trust them, care for them, feel comfortable with them, crave them, and want to be with them in all ways. When you fall in love next you will see.
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