A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:i am 14 and he is 16. i fell in love with him from the first time i talked to him .. he was going out with my best friend and she slept with another guy and they broke up. he almost killed himself so many times. having to go to the hospital for drugs and cuts. i talked him out of it. he said no one loves me. and i told him i did. he said he felt the same about me just didnt know how to say it. but we never had the nerve to go out with each other counting he was my brothers best friend. but after about 4 more gf's broke up with him . i asked him out .. we got talking about having sex and evrything about what would happen. he told me he will never push me into doing anything that i was not ready for. even if i got drunk with him he wouldnt force me. he said if i got pregnant he would not leave he would stay with me through everything he promised he would never cheat lie or leave unless i left him bcc of cheating.. i am scared to have sex with him i want to but i am scared he will be too big. that i dont know what to do . like . Do i moan? What if i cant reach orgasm? do i fake it? what if he hurts me too much? do i kiss him while we are doing it? im just confuzed about what im going to do? i love him and i want him to be my first.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2010): Excuse me while I pick my jaw up off the floor. You are fourteen years old and this is what you're worried about? Take it from someone that has been down that road...RUN. This is NOT a person who respects himself, from the history you've put here. And if a person can't even respect himself, he's certainly not going to respect you. Make the right choice. Your inner sense of reason is screaming at you that this is not the right thing. If it wasn't, you wouldn't feel the need to post this here.
A
male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (8 July 2010):
 BOTH of the previous responses are excellent advice. I don't entirely agree with Fatherly_Advice though. Just because someone has some emotional problems doesn't mean you should go running in the opposite direction.
Just realize, even though you probably do love him, he has some MAJOR emotional problems. If he's NOT seeing a therapist already, he probably should be. And I would worry if he isn't. He's got some major self esteem problems. You are doing him a great favor by loving/supporting him and hopefully he will get worked out whatever has/is causing the problems.
DO NOT rush into doing anything you don't want to... when you don't want to. You first time should be special... and with someone special. Once you get down to the mechanics of actually doing it with him... it should all come naturally - moaning, etc. If he's too large - which is possible sometimes - you can either stop altogether or just take it real slow. This is something that you will both have to agree on BEFORE you really get to heavily into it.
And, once you do decide to go through with it... and actually have sex - it doesn't matter with whom... _ALWAYS_ use a condom. Not just to protect yourself from pregnancy, but STDs as well.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (8 July 2010):
 You are not ready. Neither is he. From your description, he is emotionally insecure. He went through 4 girlfriends quite quickly. Having sex with him would be the best way to make sure you are number 5.
He is not sure he wants to live, and he is very dependent on others for his self worth. You don't want to be part of that mess. Keep the relationship friendly, at least until he is back on his feet emotionally. I'm thinking years not weeks.
I guess to put it bluntly, You can do better. This guy is damaged goods. You only have one first, do you want it to be with a guy who has had 5 in the past year?
FA
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