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I'm scared to discuss with her and I want to be open with her and honest.How can I fix this?

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Question - (26 February 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 27 February 2007)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have this amazing girlfriend who I love so much and we have been together about 3 weeks and I'm having a couple of issues that I'm scared to discuss with her and I want to be open with her and honest. But when we are like around each other we don't talk like at all, and it really bugs me. Like we talk the first two minutes and that is it, then we are just like cuddling and holding each other the rest of the time before school starts. And whenever we see each other between classes and such we don't even talk much. This is like the first real relationship I've been in where I really feel like I love the person. But what can I do to fix this?

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (27 February 2007):

TasteofIndia agony auntWell, sweetness... first thing I'd do is talk to HER. Some people aren't very good at talking, so they aren't ones to strike up a conversation. Sometimes they need a gentle push into "talk mode". So if you try talking to her, and when I say talking, I mean asking questions (like the ones AskEve suggested) and getting her engaged.

If she is pretty stubborn in not wanting to talk, then just sit her down (outside of school) and tell her that you really want to talk to her, you like her and want to get to know her. Ask her if she likes talking to you, and make it clear that you really like talking to her.

I doubt she's stubborn, just a little shy.

Happy conversing!

xxIndia

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (27 February 2007):

AskEve agony auntTalk to her! THAT'S what you do to fix it. She sounds shy to me. Ask her how her day's been going. What's she doing tonight? What's her favourite movie/TV programme? What kind of music does she like? What's her favourite subject at school? Does she like animals? What's her hobbies? Who does she admire most in the world? If she could be anyone... who would she be? What does she want to do when she leaves education?

There are hundreds of things to talk about. Once you start talking to her then she'll talk back and ask you questions too! YOU take the initiative here and keep the conversation flowing. It will get easier the more you talk and find out about one another.

Eve

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2007):

i found the same thing with my new relationship, just stick with it dude, you'll get to know her better over the next couple of months and without knowing it you'll be talking to her lots.

if ya really wanna talk bout something important tho, suck it in and just do it, it will be better to have it over and done with.

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