A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well me and my boyfriend have been dating for 7 months and hes the first guy who hasnt cheated on me. I really love him and our sex life is great, but he smokes pot and lies alot. We always argue. He almost broke up with me because he said he didnt trust himself when he goes to the beach in a week, but he ended up staying with me after we talked about it forever. I promised not to get mad at him over him smoking pot and drinking all the time, and he promised not to lie anymore. He still lies but not as bad. I can tell his trying though. He means everything to me. Ive even tried talking our problems through. I really do love him and i know he loves me, but im afraaid hes gonna cheat on me while hes at the beach, what should i do about our relation, how can i stop all the bad things going on?
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female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (12 July 2010):
 What CAN you do? Preventing him from going presumably isn't an option, so that leaves you with:
a) Hope for the best
b) Come to terms with the sort of person you have for a boyfriend and accept that he may cheat.
I wonder what's the question you're really asking here. Is it that you want to know how you can be sure he has or has not cheated on you? For that, you would need to go find out from someone who has gone with him. If the question is what you should do if he does cheat, the answer lies within you, because it's a matter of YOUR choice whether you would like to remain in the relationship or not (personally I'd advise against it).
Let me try to be optimistic here. You say he's improving; you say you've been talking about his problems. Maybe that means he's turning over a new leaf. You need to be firm. He's a man with an addiction, being tolerant and understanding will only work upto a point. Your relationship is not just about his trip to the beach, it's about everything you do and all the baggage you both bring to the table. Taken all together, if it is worth preserving, whatever may or may not happen at the beach is a part of what should be a longer process of breaking his dependence on dope.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2010): I have been in the same situation that you are in before and when I talked to my friends and told them i was worried about my boyfriend at the that i thought he might cheat on and my friends told me that if he really loved and respected me that he wouldnt cheat on me and i needed to talk to him about it so i took there advice and stopped worrying about it and we were together for a long time and he never cheated on me but we broke up like 5 yrs ago because we both wanted different things and were going in different directions but to this day we are still good friends and we talk and see eachother all the time so i mean you just gotta trust that he wont cheat on you and you gotta trust your relationship
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