A
female
age
18-21,
samia rose
writes:i'm scared i'm turning into a horrible person, i keep being mean without the intension, like being nasty without me thinking about it. please help me stop! should i appologise? recently i have become a model for absolute and i'm scared it will go wrong, as i have a portfolio booked for next week. I believe something will go wrong due to me being a bad person as i am a follower of Karma, please help! Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Twirly + ♥, writes (10 May 2008):
 Oops! That should have been try to be a little nicer! x
A
female
reader, Twirly + ♥, writes (10 May 2008):
Hey, don't worry about it anymore, all you can do is be aware of it (which you are) and try not to be a little nicer from now on.
My little Sister was sooo moody at 16, she could be so horrible sometimes but it's just a phase, I wouldn't beat yourself up about it, just concentrate on next week and cheer up! xx
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A
female
reader, samia rose +, writes (10 May 2008):
samia rose is verified as being by the original poster of the question i'm actually 16, i wrote the wrong age as i thought you had to be 18 on this site i'm normally mean to my family, on the odd occasion to my friends and basically people who i dont know well to their backs, who will find out because i said it to there friends/boys they are seeing,x
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A
female
reader, Twirly + ♥, writes (10 May 2008):
Ahh please try not to worry, it certainly does sound like you're simply stressed out and nervous about your (very fab sounding) new job.
If you can think of anyone you've been a bit snappy or mean with then just apologise next time you talk to them, say you're sorry if you were a bit off with them and that's it's just a bit of a stressful time.
Put it behind you and look forward Sweetie, I believe in Karma too and if you're feeling sorry for being mean lately then then Im sure that the Karmic forces-that-be already know you're sorry about it and will have forgiven you!
And in case you're still worrying, you say the porfolio booking is next week so that gives you a few days to be extra nice to everyone you meet to make up! :o)
Good luck, you'll be fantastic! xxx
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A
female
reader, Jitter Cakes + ♥, writes (10 May 2008):
 You just sound quite nervous, and understandably, you are entering into a new and exciting career. Just keep telling yourself you are a lovely and beautiful person and start putting all these negatives thoughts right out of your head. You will be ok - i am sure.
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (10 May 2008):
 Wow you sound like me exactly, like really. I was just being nasty to my sister and mom sometimes and feeling terrible afterwards. First off you are not a horrible person, you feel guilty about it now so obviously you are caring. Is it possible that you are going through depression? Turns out that was what my problem was. Anyone that you were mean to just be nice now. If you said something really hurtful then by all means apologize. If they bother you or annoy you and that is what makes you mad and mean to them then try to steer clear of them if you are having a bad day. Also try and think about what you are going to say before you say it. If it sounds bad in your head clearly you shouldn't say it. I really doubt you are a horrible person. Whatever happens will happen for a reason, not necessarily because you were mean in the past. I believe it is knowing you are a good person deep down. Good luck with your modeling! Don't worry too much.
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A
female
reader, happytochat  + ♥, writes (9 May 2008):
What people are you being mean to? The new people you work with? Family? Close friends? Depending on who you are being mean too will depend on why you are doing this. My first thoguht when reading your post was that if you are doing it to people at your new job maybe you are trying to put on a big tough/mean act so they dont mess with you? Its hard being a new person at work, you often feel vunerable. So maybe you are being mean as a way to protect yourself? Perhaps its the 'get them before they get me' thing happening???
Perhaps its a case of you not thinking beofre you speak? I think this is probably the best thing to do, everytime before you speak take a couple of seconds to stop and think, ask yourself 'would i like someone else telling me this? how would it make me feel??'
Only you can understand why you are doing this.
You need to figure it out so you can stop it.
Hope this has helped.
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A
female
reader, GothPod +, writes (9 May 2008):
 I have EXACTLY the same problem, I keep blaming myself for things that aren't my fault. I've done this for a long time and people say I'm unfair to myself! So tell those people you are sorry, and see what their reaction is. If they accept your apology, then you'll know that you did something wrong, so you'll need to think about the effects of what you say and do before you say or do them. If they tell you it's not your fault, and wonder what you're worrying about, trust them!
And like LonelyTwo said, if you have an emotion to channel, find a way to channel it that won't hurt anyone, including yourself. Try a stressball or a punch bag or screaming into a pillow of something =]
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A
female
reader, :):):) +, writes (9 May 2008):
Starting a new job, especially one like yours is going to cause alot of stress.
The main source of your anger and frustration probably stems from this. Looking at you're age, hormones could also be at play.
If you feel these feelings arising, take a deep breath and think about what you are going to say and what the consequences will be.
There is no need to feel negatively about work, they chose you because they like you and are interested in what you can give them. So hold your head up high and be confident.
You'll be fine.
Good luck
xxx
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A
male
reader, LonelyTwo +, writes (9 May 2008):
You sound all stressed out, and this will work against you in being more lovable.
You need to meditate, so to speak. When you having a feeling that you don't like, then investigate this feeling, ask why you have this feeling, explore the reason then explore the possible contributors to these attitudes.
It starts from withing. Getting there can be a challenge in the beginning, but once you've touched and experienced this area, and continue to experience this area, the more intouch you will be with yourself and comfortable with it.
Then, after you've become satisfied on your achivement, you can be more open to others and listen better.
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