A
female
age
30-35,
*ittlepan
writes:I don't know how to feel about a girl. I have never had a relationship before, I am a 22 year old female. I have never had a crush on anyone before until i had one on a female close friend. I told myself it was fleeting, and when she was with her partner, it was, but now shes single and told me she likes me. Im scared. I like holding her and kissing her, i find myself wanting to be with her, but now the possibility is there I am frozen up. whenever she tries to kiss me i stiffen and get scared. My family are homophobic so i am terrified i am gay. I get confused: I can only describe it as, to me, i wonder if it is not real, and i am only curious, but to her it is, and i cant tell if its real for me. Im scared of what my family would say or how it would affect my life - i want to like her but feel conflicted. How do i know if i like her? if she was a boy, would it be different? I cry because I dont know if i over rationalize everything. If it was a boy shed be ok. I feel safe only when im single...i dont want to be like that forever. One moment I want to break away from her and never touch her for my family sake, the next, i want nothing more then to kiss her. What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2012): I think you're probably gay. She seems to want you. You definitely want her. It could be love. Do you really want to look back years from now and regret missed chances? As I do every day. GO FOR IT!
A
female
reader, Atsweet1  +, writes (7 September 2012):
 It's especially odd if you've ever been married with children and come to terms. That your either bisexual or lesbian or curious for the time being. Kiss Her don't worry about what family and friends will say. They will get over it. Why does you family have to know your into women or whatever. If you try to keep it secret it could not be known. Its may come out. It could be bad or good coming out be brave in whatever choices you make.
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A
female
reader, Plumb +, writes (7 September 2012):
 Family matters but you can not make desions base on them, you need to do what you think is right for you. What if you look back one day and regret not taking the chance to actually be with her and embrace your feelings?
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A
male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (5 September 2012):
 Are there any local support groups that you can contact for questioning people? Many bigger cities have LGBT phone lines or distress centres where you can talk to someone who has been through the process of realizing you're gay/lesbian and coping with reactions of unsupportive family members.
You could just be curious/bisexual or you could be gay. Only you can really know how you feel.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 September 2012):
 have you talked to HER about it and told her you are just curious and may or may not be gay or bisexual and need to figure it out?
you CANNOT live your life to please your family.
you have to be true to yourself and live your life to please YOURSELF...
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