A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi all im really stuck . my best mate in the world is gay , he told me 2 years ago and im happy for him as i love him loads ( as a mate ) any hes been down lately and last year i went away to live in america alot of problems here where iam .anyway i came back and we got back to our old ways being mates , so a few nites ago he told me hes been loney and depressesed lately and he did some thing stupid a few months ago he goes into chat rooms and meet up with guys for fun .and would arrange to meet them and do things .he said hes becomes addicted and cant help it , but im really worried as hes doing these things in public at nite and i dont want him hurt ive asked him why he does this and he says hes loney and just wants to be held , he told me this a few days ago and i dont know what to say , i think its bad but am i over reacting or am i rite in being worried for him
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): You sound like a really good friend. Addictive behaviors, including compulsive online chatting and cyber sex, can be responses to many different emotional factors, including coping with and adjusting to feeling alone, feeling alienated from self and others, feeling deep shame and inadequacy, guilt and regret. There can also be a neurochemical component to sexual addiction. Regardless, the answer unfortunately isn't to find your friend a boyfriend. Friends, however, including you, can help. It's great that he confided this in you - it means he trusts you. Going to a support group and/or meeting a therapist individually would be a good next step. You could go with him.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2007): Yeah, I'm pretty much agree with that, I used to chat online a lot when I was just out of the closet, Why???... Because I didn't want to be alone, and also I wanted to enjoy my sexuality and learn something new from guys with some experience, but that was before I met my BF.
So? what is the point here... Your Friend needs a regular sex friend, a monogomous relationship or a Boy Friend. that always help you lost interest in meet other guys because you have the right one close to you.
my advice, take him out to the gay village and let him use his ability to interact with other guys face to face.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2007): I think you're right to be worried..these people in the chat rooms could be anyone. They could be a homophobic person just looking to beat up people. I know people in my old college used to go into gay chat rooms just to make fun of people on there. What you should do is take your friend out to a gay club or gay area where he has the chance to meet people face to face and could meet a nice lad who he could have a relationship with rather than sex in a public place..which is also against the law
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A
male
reader, charliejames +, writes (16 March 2007):
 Dear anoynomous author,If you do not want him to get hurt, your doing the right thing but you should ask him whether there is any more details.Glad I can help.From A.A Christine and A.A CharlieP.S Good Luck!
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