A
male
age
36-40,
*isualman
writes:I know that this subject has been addressed somewhat heavily on here, but I still felt as though I needed to discuss my own situation. I am with my current G/F for several months, and this is the first time that I've ever been in love with a woman like this before. I've had prior girlfriends, who I've cared about, but I've never loved anyone until now. Anyway, I knew from past experiences, that I don't want to know anything about my girl's past because I can be a very analytical and obssessive person. Thats just how my mind works and at times it can cause me great grief. I never wanted to know any names, or other details about my GF's exes, but she has mentioned the guys before and what who they are and I know both of them. We're not exactly friends, but I know them casually. The problem with this is, that my GF is wonderful to me sexually. She really gives maximum effort in trying to please me. This includes intercourse, fellatio, cumshots, swallowing. What guy wouldn't want that? The problem is, that because she told me who her ex boyfriend's were, I put 2 and 2 together and know that she had to have been doing some of this stuff with them and it eats me up and makes me jealous, and grosses me out. I understand that everyone has a sexual past. I'm not judging her for having one. I don't think she's a slut and believe that she only does sexual things with people she's in a relationship with. But I just wish she hadn't told me who her exes were, because now I can't help but visualize these losers with their pen**es in her mouth, the same mouth I kiss, and it makes me sick and hurts my pride. I hurts to see someone in person and picture him doing nasty things with your girl and feeling like you got the leftovers. That's why I didn't want to know any past details or names because I knew I wouldn't have anything to visualize, but the damage is already done. Now I have intense feelings of disgust and jealosy because they had her first and where her mouth has been. I can't talk to her abut it becaus I don't want to hurt her feelings and she probably won't understand. I just need some help or advice, on how to control my thoughts so that I don't let this stuff drive me crazy and ruin a great relationship with a wonderful woman.
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reader, Visualman +, writes (10 June 2012):
Visualman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses. The major thing with me, is that I am a very proud man.My mind is probably responsible for most of my grief. It just hurts my pride seeing some guy who fel like is a loser, but feeling like I'm enjoying leftovers because he had her first. I'm alos a little frustrated with my girl because I tried to tell her that I didn't want to know about her past but she accidentally told me some things anyway.
A
male
reader, Beingblack  +, writes (9 June 2012):
 My girlfriend has lived her life to date in a mid size city in England, whereas I am from London. She was almost 30 when I met her, an ex model, and had 2 children, and I guess numerous boyfriends before I knew her.
Sexually, she is everything a man could ask for, so much so, that I haven't even thought about another woman in nearly 20 years.
She developed all her sexual skills before we knew each other, with other men. BEFORE WE KNEW EACH OTHER.
The key is, she could have had loads of guys, and I am aware that she took part in every sexual act, but she is now with ME, and I am reaping the benefits of all her experience.
In our city, there are guys who I know have been with my girlfriend, guys I meet through sport, media, police, and three or four quite famous ex footballers from the city team, one who played for England. She blew him out, and his lifestyle, to spend weekends in London with me.
Am I jealous? No way! How could I be? She has chosen to stay with me, even after all those other guys had their shot, and either blew it, or didn't measure up.
This is the way to turn your obsessive feelings into positive energy.
Your girlfriend had oral sex with guys you knew, and now, she does it with you. You kiss her mouth .... I can only assume she cleans her teeth daily. Whatever she did, whoever she did it with, that part of her life is over. She is with you now. Picture whatever you want, those images will have no power at all once you accept that she has left those people behind, and you are her current love interest.
Sometimes, I even thank the guys from the past. Thanks for leading her to me, thanks for allowing her to perfect her skills just for my pleasure. I am a lucky guy, and it sounds like you are too.
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A
male
reader, Leodjoneluv +, writes (9 June 2012):
 I know how you feel. I have had this problem every since i was 16. I 'm 36 now. I would get angry and change the way that I looked at my girlfriends when I found out about their past. When you go into a relationship, dont ask and tell them that you do not want to know about their past until you are able to handle it. If you do know about their past, use it to help you love them more.
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