A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, me and this guy have been talking. It was ok. Then he sends a message saying I've been thinking long and hard about your messages. If it was the the other way around you would you would cause for concern. So, dont apologise again. Im not up for anything. Then i said to him here me out. And that i didn't know what his reaction was going to be and that there's not harm in flirting with him. Then i said that i was being genuine and honest with him. That was it. Then he replies with i was bit worried because you sent me to many messages and not spoke to me. and that he would expect anyone who might have an interest in him or vica versa to talk whether they were shy or not it’s a lot nicer. And that It’s not great to do things via a phone at least that’s how I see it. I am not the slightest bit upset cross or anything of that nature so I don’t really know what else to say. just talk to me i dont bitelets start again and forget any messagingim really confussed about the situation
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2019): If this guy is confusing you it's not a good sign.
You can't start off confused and expect to suddenly have a magical understanding.
I think you need someone you understand effortlessly because that's a much better starting point.
Remember that it's not just words that count.
Intention and actions are part of communication too.
E.g. Going to a bank to deposit money or to rob the bank.
Both require similar action of walking in the door but both have vastly different results.
That's how important communication and understanding are.
I think you may be better suited to someone who you understand more easily and to someone who is clear about their intention to check it suits your own intention.
E.g. Let's hook up (and have sex for fun!)
Or Let's meet at a burger bar for a burger and chat ..no hookup.(sex is not on the menu)
Then if you go for a burger you don't suddenly ask if he's got a condom!
Because that means your expecting sex afterwards and you are then on a hookup.
After that you are a booty call.
And nothing more.
And he refers to you that way with his friends.
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (7 April 2019):
 Yeah, sounds like he wants to see you in person, not behind a phone!
If you like him, go and date him. If not, set him free.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2019): Seems to me the guy is asking you if you're interested or not? You're sending him a plethora of messages and apparently he's not sure what it's all about.
In simple terms, he wants you to date you; not flirt by phone. He's a guy who seems to likes personal-interaction and in-person conversation. Not be hit-up and inundated with a blitz of messages. Poop or get off the pot!
Perhaps you're wasting his time, and yours.
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