A
male
age
41-50,
*k78
writes:Hi all, i feel like i am at high school again'.She tells me she doesnt know what she wants and that i am to full on. She wants to start over be friends and go through the dating thing again.That is great! only problem is. She is to busy with friends, daughter, work and her social life to even date. I want her to want to go on a date, not feel like i've pressured her into a date.I've stopped texting in the mornings since we agreed to be friends, I reply to her texts because if i don't she asks why and says she doesnt think i'm into her as much as i say.I love this girl, i only know how to give 150% (full on) and it is ripping me apart. I am trying so hard not to be full on and only ask if she has time for dinner or movie or a walk/talk once a week currently.My heart tells me if i run i will only live with more regrets and my head tells me she likes my attention and when she doesnt get it she uses emotional blackmail to get it. I would never say something to hurt her feelings.She tells me she misses meShe tells me she wishes she was with meWhy doesnt she make an effort ? I'm putting in 150%, and i feel she is putting in 10%.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2010): Please let us know what you think life might look like once some time has passed... in six months, in one year, in five years?... her priorities will likely change and there could be a lot more space for you then (particularly if her mothering duties are a major part of her time delegated elsewhere than you).
It sounds like there is real love here and I would be loathe to advise you to give up just now.
But I would also never advise you to allow yourself to turn into this emotional manservant of sorts... she needs to allow you more into her life or understand that she is completely abusing and letting go a wonderful thing.
Until your followup, try phone conversations instead of text.
If she is unwilling to even make the time to talk with you, phone- date if you will, she doesn't deserve the great thing she's got in you, and You don't deserve That.
-Tante Vic
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