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I'm pregnant with my teacher's baby! Should I tell him?

Tagged as: Forbidden love, Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 March 2008) 16 Answers - (Newest, 30 September 2008)
A female United States age 16-17, anonymous writes:

I had sex with my teacher. JUST ONCE! And I am now 2 months pregnant. I'm not in his class anymore. Should I tell him? I'm so scared. And I don't believe in having abortions. So don't tell me to get rid of it.

View related questions: abortion, my teacher

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A female reader, haloandwings United Kingdom +, writes (30 September 2008):

If you haven't already told him, you really have to! It's his right to know that you're carrying his child. Perhaps if only you and your parents know, it won't have to end up with him losing his job...

Don't get rid of it! You'll only regret it.

x x x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008):

BEFORE you tell him, tell a few (not just one) trusted older people, like your parents, clergyman, or a school counselor. Otherwise your teacher may use his greater age and experience to bully you into doing something you don't want to do (i.e. get an abortion, or give up your rights to his financial support in caring for the child.) He might even decide to harm you or get you kicked out of the school!

You may think he's not that type, but when people are scared they can do all sorts of things... he'll be scared of losing his job or even going to jail, and he's already shown himself too weak to do the right thing. It's going to be him against you, and unless you get help, he will be stronger.

Build up your support system, because you will need it. If you're unwilling to do this for yourself, do it for your unborn child, or for the next young girl that this teacher may prey on. You may have made a mistake, but please don't let your child start off life behind all the other children, just because you don't stand up for your rights.

Good luck, and let us know how it goes!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008):

Yea you should, you should also take this to the police if he isn't willing to pay child support or help with the baby.

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A female reader, Phoenix-Rose United Kingdom +, writes (16 June 2008):

firstly - it only takes one time and secondly you should definatley tell him as he has a right to know. I too dont believe in abortions unless it was under extreme cases but i feel that you really should tell him. Did you tell your parents?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008):

Please tell the father of your unborn child immediately. Sadly this will also result in him losing his job.

I am glad that you don't want to have an abortion. Always remember God does not make mistakes. Although this will be a trying time for you and your family, just understand that this baby is yours. He or she will be wonderfully made despite the circumstances.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2008):

dont keep it cause its a bad idea hes your teacher but its your choose

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A male reader, oldfool Australia + , writes (9 June 2008):

oldfool agony auntHe is extremely irresponsible for firstly having sex with you as one of his students, and secondly for getting you pregnant. I mean, he's a grown man, not a groping adolescent, he should have some idea of contraception by now!

You shouldn't have to carry this mistake alone on your young shoulders. His responsibility is far, far greater than yours. You should tell him, even if it gets him running scared. He can't get his young students pregnant and just walk away from the consequences.

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A male reader, JTalbott United States +, writes (24 May 2008):

JTalbott agony auntIt is very likely your teacher has had sex with girls before you and if you don't speak up he will most certainly continue to have sex with his students after you.

As a teacher he was given a position of trust that he violated and for which you will experience consequences for the rest of your life.

Although you naturally want to protect him and you don't feel this way toward him, he is a statutory rapist.

Please talk to your school counselor or school principal, if not for yourself, please do it for the next girl.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008):

Honey.. You've got to tell him! I have no idea what possessed you to have sex with your teacher - especially unprotected, I presume. As the father, it's his right to know he has a child growing inside you - but this relationship (even if it was just a once off) is illegal, and when people find out, he could lose his job. I'm sorry to say it but this was a stupid choice for you to make. Now you've either got to bring up his child for the rest of your life or kill an innocent child, AND he's probably going to lose his job. Jeez honey.. But to answer your question, you've got to tell him - the sooner, the better. The longer you leave it then the harder it will all be. Good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008):

My goodness child you have a big problem . You should tell him . He has the right to know . IT's his kid too . Whether or not to keep it is up to you . just know he may or may not agree to take care of it with you . He may deny it so you should get a DNA test. This will make things diffrent for you and him and he's going to have to stop being a teacher either way . Because thats definitly not allowed in school. I hope that whatever happens you be ok and the baby too. Be careful . Also tell your parents. Good luck . I wish you the very best !!!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008):

jeez, i wish i could get a teacher pregnant!

but seriously though, you should tell him. im a male and id like to know if i got someone pregnant. for a brief moment i will be joyed then i would be mad because i wouldn't know how to deal with the problem.

first of all, don't tell your parents! tell them and the sh*t will hit the fan.

i would try to hide eve nbeing pregnant if you can and catch the "flu" when that 9th month comes ( if you decide to have the baby)

let us know how this turns out. hopefully it will turn out great for you.

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A female reader, nicole5178 United States + , writes (22 March 2008):

nicole5178 agony auntTalk with him about it, but don't tell your parents or friends who the father is until you and him have made some sort of decision.

You really should tell him. I mean, that's his DNA, his kid... I'm a woman, but if I were a guy, I think I'd definitely want to know how many people I've spawned.

He knew this could happen. I don't know if you all used protection, but if you didn't, he knew this was a strong possibility. Tell him you have to speak with him, preferably in a very private location. Well, normally I wouldn't suggest you to invite him off grounds, but seeing as how you're already pregnant, you could just ask to see him outside of school again (I hope to God you weren't at the school when you two had sex.)

How did you leave things with him? Why did it only happen once? Was this an implusive 'mistake,' or did the two of you stop falling for each other afterward? Are you still in a relationship with him, or will you bringing up that day seem random and uncomfortable?

And good job for keeping the baby! You really do need to think about the financial support... if you still have feelings for him, you probably don't want him to be fired, so in that case, you'd have to keep it covered up and thus could not demand payments from him. If you told your parents or the school or any of your friends, he'd go to jail for certain, on account of the overwhelming evidence against him.

I would advise, if you don't want him to get into trouble, to tell him the baby is his, and say that if he wants to be involved, that's great, and you two can just play it off like he's the caring, supportive teacher helping you through a horrible ordeal. That way he'll be around the baby from time to time, and you can keep him updated without people being suspicious. I know a lot of the statutes of limitations in these types of cases expires 4 years after you turn 18, and that seems like a fair amount to wait to tell your parents if you're not wanting him to be convicted.

If you do think he should go to jail, tell your parents. Honestly, he could have slept with other girls, too. There's a fairly large possibility that you're not the first girl he's had illegal sex with. In my opinion, he really should go to jail and face the consequences. On the other hand, I would completely understand if you didn't want him to be convicted--and since you're the victim, it's your call. Before taking any action, though, talk with him about the baby.

Well, congradulations! Start looking for names....

Good luck!

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A female reader, xapathyxrebornx United Kingdom +, writes (22 March 2008):

xapathyxrebornx agony auntBean317's advice was very good, You should tell him, but be prepared for the outcome INCASE he cares more for his job. Although you are not in his class now were you WHEN you got pregnant? THEN it is illegal, if you got pregnant after you left the school he teaches in it remains to be illegal. Be prepared, you both got into this situation and you should help eachother with it

Stay strong x

message me if you wanna talk Xx

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A female reader, Annalisa United Kingdom + , writes (22 March 2008):

Annalisa agony auntHe's responsible for getting you pregnant and it's his baby too, so tell him! Even if he does not want a relationship with you, he is responsible for helping you raise the child, even if only by helping financially.

Make sure you talk to your parents and friends, get lots of support from them and you'll be fine!

It's scary, but if you want to have the baby, you can.

Giving the baby up for adoption is an option, if you can't look after him/her. But if you want to keep this baby, your love will be a great start towards being a good mum and giving your child everything he/she needs.

Remember, you're not alone.

God bless you and good luck!

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A female reader, Bean317 United States +, writes (22 March 2008):

Sounds like you have your mind made up to keep it. I don't know what kind of relationship you had with him...was it just sex or was there a mutual connection?

Regardless, he knew the possible outcomes of his actions. Also if you were comfortable enough to sleep with him, you should be comfortable enough to tell him that you're carrying his baby.

I feel for you, you are in a pickle. You can't hide it for much longer and each decision has conditions.

On the one hand if you tell him and are open about who the father of your baby is, he may get into trouble depending on the situation. Also, be prepared for him to deny and accuse you of sleeping around.

On the other hand, are you willing to lie to everyone about who the father is and raise your baby without him or his financial support?

No one can tell you how you feel, you have to decide if you want to try and have your baby's father in its life, if you need to financial support and if it's worth the risk?

If I were in your situation I would talk to him, you didn't do it to yourself and you're going to have to live with this for the rest of your life, he should have to deal with the consequences of his actions as well.

Good luck, please keep us updated

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A female reader, mightyhawk United Kingdom + , writes (22 March 2008):

mightyhawk agony auntYou have to tell him, but the issue is that is illegal! He should be a figure of authority, and not have sex with his sudents. He has to know, because I would have thought that you would want him to help you support this baby if you insist on having it. Abortion is an opion which I know you have said is not one for you, but at your age you should seriously concider, as having a baby will dramatically hane your life, and rob you of your remaining childhood.Think about this long and hard. I would talk to your mum if I were you, tell her as much as you want, as it will hlp you cope with things, though you don't have to tell her who the father is. If I were you I would tell him straight away, time will mak things harder. I hope I have helped.

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