A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I live with my boyfriend and we have been dating for 5 months now. He is 36 years old and I am 25 years old and I am 4 months pregnant with his baby. When we first meet we had sex a few times a day, everyday. When I found out I was pregnant we would only have sex once every two weeks or so and now we haven't had sex in over a month. When I bring it up he gets mad and tells me he doesn't feel like having sex and tells me when I bring it up it's a turnoff. I feel like he's more of a friend than a boyfriend, we don't cuddle very often, we barely talk unless it's something to do with money and bills and now we don't even have sex. In a way I feel like I need to stay with him because of the baby and hope that it's just a phase of his but what if I stay with him and it stays this way between us. Please help I don't know what I should do!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2009): You were together with your boyfriend for 1 month before you fell pregnant - sounds like you were trying to trap him into marriage.
Maybe that has put a damper on his libido! Here he was having a great sexual relationship with you and barely knows your name and you fall pregnant.....
Enough to cause any man to back down!
A
male
reader, dddddddd  +, writes (10 July 2009):
It sounds like now that the sex is gone you and your boyfriend don't have much of a relationship. Were things different before, i.e. talking, cuddles etc?
Some guys find the whole pregnancy thing difficult to deal with so could that be it? Whatever it is, and it could be any or many things, you need to find out. Try and talk to him and hopefully he will open up.
Maybe approach the subject from the angle of your relationship and not about sex and that way he might not react so badly or get defensive.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2009): I find it interesting that your major concern with your relationship and your situation is the frequency of sex with your boyfriend.
I would think your concerns would center around the relatively short period of time that you know this person and the fact that you are bringing a child into the world together and how you are going to handle that.
Perhaps your boyfriend wants out of the relationship and feels trapped by you being pregnant. Did you plan to get pregnant to keep him? Or are you unaware of what causes babies? Sorry, but you need a wake up call here. Start talking to him about the baby and your future together, as sex or lack there of is not the issue....it is your growing belly would be my guess.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2009): Well if you cant talk about it with him then if you want you can leave him.Yes it will be hard being a single parent but plenty of people do it and it turns out fine.besides do you really want your baby to enter a destroyed family? or a family that argues all the time? no.if he wont change his ways and you feel as though you cant wait to see if he changes after a bit as it may be because hes stressed because he has a kid on the way and hes maybe not ready? then leave.
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A
male
reader, Hermetica  +, writes (9 July 2009):
You have been together for a relatively short time.Your are pregnant,you are living together.You need sex.I can see some pressures here.Your relationship has become quite intense in a very short space of time.You are no longer just courting,you have a baby on the way,money worrys et al.I can see your boyfriend feels under pressure,hence the lack of sex.He probably feels trapped and I think you do too.The only way you can move forward is to talk.After all you have a child on the way who needs a loving future.It is neccessary to start talking as mature adults.Your short term sexual requirements are irrelevant.Is this relationship going to work?If not decide positively what you are going to do.There is no easy answer here but I hope I have helped you to focus.Hermetica
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