A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, where to start... I met this guy a few months back, we have mutual friends. We started talking quite a lot each time we went out, he'd tell me the problems he has with his girlfriend and stuff like that, you know as friends do. Anyhow beginning of April we went to a friends party and he told me he had broken up with his girlfriend and asked if I'd like to go on a date with him. So a few days later we went on a date and I then spent the weekend with him. We carried on spending time with each other over the weekends and the odd day in the week. We had a friends with benefits kinda thing going on. Beginning of May, I spent majority of the weekend with him and found out he has actually been with his girlfriend all along. So told him that the benefits are going to have to stop and we'll go back to just being friends. Both cool with that situation..Here's the bombshell.. I've just found out that I'm pregnant, I'm on the pill before someone mentions contraception. His girlfriend is going to think that I'm some home wrecker, even though he told me they had broke up. How do I even tell him I'm pregnant? It's not exactly the ideal situation. He's on holiday at the moment so it gives me a chance to try work things out. I just need to advice on how to handle the whole situation.. how to tell him the news, how to handle his girlfriend when she finds out.. stuff like that.
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broke up, friend with benefits, has a girlfriend, on holiday, the pill Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah my family know about the pregnancy, all being very supportive.
To the person who asked if I'd be supporting myself with benefits.. the answer is no, I work full time and have money saved away.
He's back from holiday in 8 days so I will update on the situation then.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2012): think how you will support yourself because he doesnt seem the type that can be relied upon to support his own child. benefits? are you sure you are ready to be a mum? you are still young, the abortion pill is available in the uk if you are under 9 weeks on the NHS. think about it... do you want this one mistake to colour the rest of your life?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've already decided that I'm keeping the baby, so I'm kinda worried about what his reaction is going to be.. even if he runs away from this its going to become public in the end anyway, right? Just absolutely terrified about having to tell him and all the drama that's going to come with it. Why do I feel this guilty when I didn't do anything wrong?
Oh and to the person who suggested the STD test, I had one when I stopped sleeping with him.. all clear.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (8 June 2012):
 It is not you that has to handle his girlfriend, thats his mess to clean up as he created the situation.
You had no knowledge that he was still with his girlfriend, he had asked you out on dates and you were on the pill...you did nothing wrong, so the only person you should be concerned about is yourself!!
If you cannot bring yourself to tell him to his face (which I think you should do) then send him an e mail or get one of your friends to tell him.
These days it's impossible for men to run away from their responsibilities and to deny they are the 'father' we have DNA testing and family courts to sort out the legal stuff.
You are on a path now (if you choose to keep the baby) you have a lot to sort out so please do not worry about him or his girlfriend.
If he is half decent he will come foward and offer support, but for a guy who was cheating in the first place, you may have a deadbeat dad on your hands.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2012): Talk to a girlfriend or maybe your mother and get her to come to the clinic with you. After the abortion I suggest you stay away from this guy as he seems like a bit of a pig.
Good luck
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