A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm involved in a delicate situation and I may have been lied to and now I'm not sure what to make of it all...There's a girl in my office, she is 19 and a temp- she's been with the company for 5 months. She is quite and just gets on with her work and never draws attention to herself.Last month I went to the staff kitchen to make myself a drink and I saw her in there looking a little flustered. I asked if she was ok -she hesitated and said that 1 of the guys in the team (who is 23 and a bit of a lad/ joker) commented that she had small boobs, whilst she was in the kitchen, 5 mins before I arrived. She said she felt a little uncomfortable as it was only them 2 in there. I asked if she wanted to mention it to our manager and she said no.2 weeks ago she came over to me to tell me the same guy, whilst in the car park after work told her she "had a cute bum" and "should wear tighter trousers" she said she felt again really uncomfortable and had told our manager who was dealing with it.There however seems to be some contradiction to her accusations as the guy said she twisted what he said and it wasn't meant in the context as to which she interpreted.She then asked for my advice as she felt nobody believed her and that management were taking his side as he had been the longer than her. I told her to speak to the temp agency she was with to log a complaint- which she did. The guy got sacked (he was only a temp too and had been in trouble several times before for errors in his job role so this accusation wasn't the only reason he got fired).A few things have happened since then to make me question wether she was telling the truth or not....I overheard her tell the team that 1 of our reps was really rude to her over the phone. I have known this rep for 5 years and he is a really nice guy so I found it hard to believe he would be rude. All the calls are recorded so I found the call to listen to it and he wasn't rude at all...She the accused another colleague of "being aggressive" in an email she wrote to her however when I read it, it showed nothing of the sort...She was in a meeting with a couple of other colleagues and she told me that our manager used swear words- once again I have been working under this manager for 5 years- it's not something she would do. I questioned another colleague to find out if she swore and she didn't! Im beginning to wonder if this girl is a liar and is out to cause trouble.....I don't know wether to mention anything to my manger, just incase she tries to get someone else in trouble...I'm also feeling guilty for telling her to log a complaint against the guy. She has also latched on to me a bit- she emails me every time someone goes on their mobile phone or on the internet during the working day- which they aren't allowed to do, she has opinions on alot of people in the office, despite not really knowing them... I tend to be vague if she reports anything to me - as I'm not in management therefore can't help- she knows this but I can't help feeling she is up to no good....What's the best thing to do? I can't ignore her as we sit at the same desk. I don't really respond much to her opinions already....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2016): I think it would be best to tell her again and put it in writing that you are not a manager and can do nothing for her. I agree that she is trying to make you a witness so that she can say she is not the only one who knows these things. I think that if you did not report the people with her or agree with her, then she will try to use that against you. I believe she is trying to collect information on people may be using their phones or Internet so that she can turn it all in with you as a witness so she does not look like a tattletale. As for the curse words, she will have to be specific about the words that were used. I know a woman who considers dang a cuss word. This girl sounds very sheltered and seems like she think it is her job to report it every time somebody bends a rule. She was probably the girl who came home from school crying that she had no friends after she told on everybody for little things. Someone (manager) needs to put a stop to this or someday she will tell on the wrong person and they will not hesitate to beat her ass. Maybe she is one of those people who needs to learn the hard way.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (30 January 2016):
 Yep, I agree with both Denizen and WiseOwlE
She is starting dram (for whatever reason) and YOU can end up in the cross-hairs too. So GO to your manager first then HR.
No need for you to get lumped in with her.
You said she was fairly young so maybe she has no idea how the "real" world works. You can't whine and cry every time someone isn't going out of the way to be your friend.
I DO think... there is a possibility that the the first guy (the one who got fired) was being inappropriate - but again - she could have told him to keep him opinions to himself. However, she found that she got attention and can impact situations, so maybe now she is wanting MORE attention.
Don't feel bad for trusting her. How would you feel if it you and was true but no one believed you?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2016): This is something you report to your manager and HR. Your own job would or could be jeopardized; because she is trying to draw you in for support and an inadvertent witness. You should discuss this with your manager; and tell only what you've personally witnessed. Not what your suspicions are. They only need the facts, not your speculations.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (30 January 2016):
 Report your suspicions, findings and observations to your line manager and HR. The responsibility is then theirs. You don't have the power of hire or fire so that's all you can do. They will at least be on the lookout for future reports from her.
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