A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hello everyone, im scott, and sorry if this takes long, but ive made one big mistake, I have a 3 yr old with my ex we where together for 5 years, well we split in jan this year, i then started going out with this really nice girl sophie my whole family love her, but i didnt i was living a lie being with her, i still had strong fellings for my ex,i used to do everything for her even when i was with this sophie, and my ex wouldnt stop ringing or texting me making an excuse up about my child but sophie didnt seem to mind, yeah i did like her and still do, anyway one nite 3 months ago my ex turned up at the pub where i was with family and and sophie, my ex who i still loved at the time told me that nite that if i dumped sophie, we could try again, nxt day i dumped sophie, and told her about my feelings for my ex, in the end me and my ex started getting on better, but since then shes gone bk to bf and ive finelly realised that she didnt wnt me but no one else could have me either, and im beginning to think i dont love her anymore, The other problam is i still speak to sophie everyday over the phone, see her most nites and sometimes sleep wth her, i know sophie still likes me and would go bk out with me, but ive now joined a dating website, and meet this girl who im now going out with she lives outside uk in ireland and i live in coventry,so we never meet yet anyway not untill march, the think is im still sleeping with sophie, and when i see her i also hit her over the head like in messing about way like when i saw her last nite we ended up play fighting in the pub, ive also got to me carefulle that my child doesnt say anthing to my ex and i gt hastle from her Im so confused im not sure if i like sophie or not, Does long disance relationships work please andvice and please be honest
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male
reader, dan.1 +, writes (27 December 2008):
well first yeah you have got your self in a mess, well a long distance relation 9/10 dont work, but if you know that sophie still likes you then why would you want to be with someone else and the fact your sleeping with her aswell, u mite as well tell the girl sorry i but i dont think a long distance releationship will work and go back with sophie and stay with her. good luck mate it up to you at the end of the day ive been there done it and got the t-shirt
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): hmm.. maybe you should take a little break from the dating scene to give yourself some time to sort yourself out figure out what it is you want.
i think you need to stop sleeping with sophie, she obviously really likes you and it isnt fair towards her if you keep messing with her like that - it will only give her false hope that you want the same as her and she'll only end up getting hurt even more if thats not the case.
about the new girl, yeah long distance can work but i wouldnt jump into a relationship with someone that i havent even met yet. wait till march when you meet her and see how you feel about her, tell her that you really like her but that you have a lot going on atm and need to think things through properly before committing yourself to a new relationship.
i hope this helps and that you do the right thing - for everyone involved in this. and dont forget theres a child involved as well, whatever you decide to do, do the right thing for your child, dont let him/her suffer through this.
good luck xx
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (27 December 2008):
 if you acctually liked sophie you would know so you dont. stop messing her around it is cruel to play others as you found out when your manipulative ex played you in a childish game.
what you like is sex and attention-who doesn't? but stringing this poor girl along for nothing while your on the rebound is not the answer. you were never long enough away from your previous relationship to know what you wanted or be capable of loving another other than your ex.
as for the dating agency-this could turn out to be a wild goose chase
your best bet is to spend some time free of a partner to regain a sense of self. as it is currently do you define yourself by who your with? is this why your not keen on sophie? is she wrong for you?
think about the long term
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