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I'm not sure if he prefers me or her!

Tagged as: Crushes, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 August 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 22 August 2013)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

So, I like a guy at my high school, and I know he likes me or at least likes flirting with me. We flirt often because we play the same sports, but don't have any classes together. One of my friends thought he liked me, too, which helps because I know I'm not completely off in assuming he might.

However, there are some complications.

Firstly, I think he might like another girl and I at the same time. He says they're best friends, which I would be fine with if we did date. However, I feel like they're more than friends and many other people believe they are a couple, too (this idea has been going around for a year). They are in the same friend group and will all go do things outside of school. I've actually never seen them interact at school except in passing, but he calls her his best friend, which is weird.

Also, he has some other friends that are girls. He flirts with them, too, which is fine but it really confuses me. I don't know if he's a flirt or if he really likes me.

Then it gets weirder; I'm not sure he even knows I like him! I'm very sweet; I have him some candies and a card for valentines day. However, when he got the note he thought they were from another guy because I wrote Alex (my nickname)instead of Alexis (my name). Additionally, I've dropped hints. At first I started out very subtle like "I really would like to see this movie" or "I really love this band" which I said because I knew he liked the band and that they had a concert soon. Nothing happened. So, I said "we really should hang out sometime." Again, nothing happened.

I'm not sure if he knows I like him or isn't interested. Please help me out.

View related questions: best friend, flirt

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A female reader, Aunty Babbit United Kingdom +, writes (22 August 2013):

Aunty Babbit agony auntRelationships are so complicated sometimes, especially in the bit before they become a relationship.

You've dropped hints and they've been ignored. He's friendly to you, but he is to everyone. Sweetie, I think he likes you (you sounds very nice) but I don't think he "like" likes you.

He's no doubt a popular, good looking guy and loads of girls adore him. Flirting is normal and a lot of fun but he gets this kind of attention all the time.

I know you really like him, but I would say back off. Focus on your education and sports, don't follow the crowd and make a play for him. Why? Because there's nothing more of a turn off to a guy than a desperate girl.

If he does like you, he'll notice you and will no doubt find you a lot more interesting merely because you're not mooning around after him with puppy eyes.

If he wants you to date, he'll ask!

The only other course of action is to ask him out on a date but be prepared for a knock back and any teasing that could follow x

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A female reader, MSA United States +, writes (22 August 2013):

MSA agony auntThe best advice I can give you is to just focus on you and him. Stop worrying about his relationships with other girls. They can all be just friends and there is nothing wrong with a guy having female friends or even female best friends.

You have to just concentrate on you and him. Be his friend first, and build from there. No need to keep dropping hints at this point.. get to know him, who is he, what he likes, talk to him and ask questions that shows you are interested in HIM and getting to know him, share with you your likes and dislikes and how you see and feel about things that happen around you.. once you're his friend, you will know when he becomes interested in you as more than a friend, at that time, you won't even need to drop hints... he will. Best of luck and remember to focus on just you two, don't worry about anyone else. Be yourself and he will see how special you are!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2013):

Read online about reading body language when a guy likes a girl. A few things i remember is u should look at his chest and upper body to see to whome it points when you are all in a group specially when other girls that you mentioned are there. A man's chest faces to the mist important person in the room for him. Also see when he sees you, have a genuine smile, meaning eyes smile when lips do. And a general opening in the face, u know, kind of very happy. These can help you to know your guy better. Remember judje a guy by his actions and not words . If he likes you, he will have a move. Also, i realized that some guys are not getting words as well as we girls do. Like if you look at them deeply in eyes, they feel that u r interested, but if u talk with them with words with 2 meanings and indirectly say that u r intetested, they don't get it well and quickly! Good luck

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