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male
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anonymous
writes: Im a gay male and I live with my partner of 3 years. I have only ever been in love once and I know what it feels like, and I know I do not love my current partner like I loved my ex. However at the gym we go there is a guy who works there and I am sure he likes me. Over the past few months I have really fallen for him and I now dont know what to do. Nothing has happened and I'm not even sure it will, could this be just a crush and should I do anything about it?
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female
reader, cfliberal +, writes (15 May 2006):
First love is different from every other love you will feel. It's so much infatuation because of the newness. Before you do anything, think seriously about your feelings for your current partner. It's possible that you do love him but it's just a different feeling because it's more mature than your first relationship.
If the two of you talk things out and you decide to move on, be aware that the guy at the gym is an infatuation at this point, not a love. You'd be coming into the situation on the rebound, which rarely works out. That's ok as long as you realize it going in.
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (15 May 2006):
 If your current relationship is not going anywhere then perhaps you should finish it as that would be in the best interests of your partner since you say you don't love him now, and imply you never will. However, gym guy shouldn't be seen as a spring board to get out of a bad relationship. You should finish with the current guy because it is not working out, not because you fancy someone else and will get with them on the rebound. Once single if you fancy the man at the gym then it is up to you to make a move, but perhaps a subtle approach is best because if he doesn't want to get with you, isn't single etc then remember you still have to see him at the gym.
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