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I'm not happy in my relationship. How can I talk to him about my feelings?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 November 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 17 November 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:


I'm feeling really down at the minute and i think it may be because of my relationship. i have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and im only 19 so i know anything can happen and there are plenty of more fish in the sea etc but i dont want to leave him, i just want to make our relationship better.

i dont feel very appriciated, i never get treated or recieve any like gifts or anything (im not materialistic i just think a bunch of flowers once in a while wouldn't go a miss) and i feel like more of the man in the relationship than him.

i have tried to bring this up before but then he just started crying and saying 'dont leave me' making me feel like the bad one and then having to appologise for brining it up.

i really love him but just feel like i need to be treated more like a respected girlfriend rather than just someone random in his life.

all of this has made me to start to develop a crush on someone else too. i really dont think that i would cheat as i would be disgusted with myself and i know this other guy is interested in me but not in a relationship so it would really only be a silly one night stand which isn't worth throwing my relationship away for, but i am just scared that if my boyfriend doesn't start to take notice of me i will just be consantly unhappy and go off with someone else.

how can i talk to him about my feelings (without making him cry), make ths a better relationship and stop my crush!

i know it is a lot but please help!

View related questions: crush, flowers, one night stand

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A female reader, BlueBag United Kingdom +, writes (17 November 2009):

BlueBag agony auntYou need to talk to him again. You can't carry on in a relationship you are just not happy in.

Choose your words carefully to try and limit his crying. However, he probably will still get upset because its never easy to hear your partner is not happy in your relationship.

Tell him exactly what's on your mind (in the best way possible) don't beat around the bush, he needs to know everything if he is to improve how you'd like him to.

Once he knows how you're feeling, give him time to adjust and try harder. If things don't improve then you need to move on and be with someone who meets your expectations. You can't live your life being unhappy, you only get one chance in this world.

Good luck, keep us updated :)

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A male reader, cbaker United Kingdom +, writes (17 November 2009):

look you care fo him deeply i think the best way to approach this would be to get him to a place where he is always happy and then say look this is you when youre happy but do you realise that even though i look happy i could be far more happier hun if you could just do somehing i like once and a whiel try show me what you think about me instrad of me trying to make you do it hun can you please take the leading role i dnt want a lose you but by the way youre acting all i can do is start to lose what i have and its starting to confuse me about what you think about me i know you cried last time i tried to talk to you im not having a go at you am just pointing out hunnie that things need to improve for us...see this is me expressing to you that im not as happy as you its not me biting or being a bitch am just showing you that i care for are relationship and if you cared too you would make more of a effort to show me this am gunna give you three weeks to improve on yourself and if it doesnt improve will you let me have three days a peace so i can reside to what i want out a my life its clear that you want me in youre but i need to know how much you want me

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