A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone Hope someone could give me some good advice me and my boyfriend have been together nearly 4 years we have a 2 year old and a 1 year old and he Has a dog a rottweiler that he had when we met we moved in together.He is at work all day I'm at home with the kids and dog the dog is a nuisance to be honest. It won't listen to anything I tell him only my boyfriend he comes home from work sits down fusses the dog.I do tea I wash up sort the kids out bathing them and putting them to bed his dog gets paw prints all over when he's been out he let's him get on the settee always defending the dog over anything then goes to his mates on a night I feel like I'm cracking up I feel so stressed if I say anything to him he says I'm nagging I love him but I feel like ending the relationship as I don't feel happy anymore he says he is but he's always staring at other women I just dont know what to do any answers would be grateful thank you
View related questions:
at work, moved in Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tottochan  +, writes (4 October 2015):
Hello!I just wanted to add something to the other answers too.You are really really lucky to have a dog in your family. He seems to be very friendly, and the only problem (which can seem like a big one) is that he is very naughty and not trained to listen to you. And he doesn't seem to be a very naughty dog either (from the little you have said) - he only walks around the house with dirty paws - but you know, he's just behaving like a normal dog.You should tell your boyfriend to man up, and take care of the kids for about 3 hours. In that much time, you should bond with the dog. You'll see how much of an immense support the dog can be. Take him out for a walk, play with him. And then have some relaxed time to yourself too. If you're the one feeding him daily, then you'll already have a bond. It's only that you need to have him obey you as well.I do not like crating either. That might work for low energy dogs, but for one like yours, it might be the case that his energy will get pent up even more, and when he is out, he will have more energy to release.Have the kids spend time with this fella too. From personal experience, growing up with a dog is a boon for a child. They learn so much from dogs - loyalty, playfulness, and as Cesar Millan has said - how to start from zero. The dog never keeps resentment, he always lives in the Now.Please work on including the dog to be a part of your family, to be a doggie-sibing to your children. He'll be protective to the kids, and will touch your family in so many ways.But of course, for all this, you will need the help of your boyfriend - so you should tell him that this is his responsibility too. Work together, as a family, and become an even stronger, warmer, affectionate, inclusive family.All the very best.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2015): woke up thinking of your plight.A rottie is a large energetic do g needing plenty of exercise .You maybe in a small flat with no garden and a stairwell that dog bolts down stairs of if door is open so modify the exercise to suit indoors.Dogs love attention.Dog will think game is fun and be more secure to know you are pack leader unless is showing signs of out of control dominance.This means tail high and snarling.If you feel this is the problem you can lock door of bedroom with a chair and gather kids and buggy and flee ...to the local police and say "My dog is having a nasty turn and I need some help because I am afraid to be in the house with it." It is a criminal offence to have a dangerous dog on the premises and more criminal to set dangerous dog loose on the public.Is your boyfriend one of those idiots who lets his dog rip bark off trees to train it to be vicious.This is also a criminal offence.Can you flee to mums for a coupla days?Is dog sleeping now.You want tail down dog in the home..calm relaxed state..check out Ceasar Milan on web for other dog situations and advice ..he is an expert and get boyfriend to do the same.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (29 September 2015):
 Take yourself and the dog to a trainer so you can learn to handle it. Get a crate that the dog stays in while he's at work. That will handle the dog. Hire a babysitter or take the children to daycare center (I think you in the UK call them creches).
I think you may need to change the way you tackle the problem. Instead of doing all the chores, tonight, meet him at the door when he comes in, hand him the nappies, tell him it's up to him to get tea and see to the children and then take yourself out for the evening.
A few rounds of taking care of his own children and the dog by himself will give him first hand personal knowledge about why you might feel stressed.
Do this all in a very matter-of-fact way, calmly, with a brisk no-nonsense air. No need to shout or raise your voice at all.
Here are some links to questions that might help you! :)
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-boyfriend-values-his-dog-over-his-own.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-cant-talk-to-him-about-how-i.html
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (29 September 2015):
 Normally I'm not a huge fan of crating dogs, but on your case, crate training can be helpful. Since you are the one home all day THAT would fall on you to get done though and you seem a bit hostile towards the dog. It's not the dog's fault that your BF is useless.
As long as you remember to also WALK the dog so he/she can go potty. Having a couple of old towels by the door can eliminate the paw prints every where. My aunt bred Great Danes and had a fairly clean house (still had dog hairs and droll everywhere lol) but you (or whomever take the dog out for walks) can EASILY wife it's feet.
I can see why you are feeling done with the relationship.He comes come ignores you and the kids, then eats and leaves?
So basically, he has a GF, 2 kids, a dog but pretends to live as a single lad.
If he moves out and leave (or you leave him) can you take care of yourself and 2 kids? After all, you are not working and money for rent/food etc has to come from somewhere.
Only you can really decide if this is enough or not. He doesn't seem willing to hear that he is not helping out enough when he gets off work, he just dismisses you as "nagging" him.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2015): If the dog is coming between you and the boyfriend then you had better start by training the dog first.Apparently dogs see the world in a certain way and he who steps out of the door first is the pack leader.From what you say you are not the pack leader.The boyfriend thinks he is and then when he is at work the dog believes that he is so i think you could send the dog into the back garden during the day as an immediate remedy as you already have your hands full.But there is another way.Get your boyfriend to help with this when tbe youngsters are in another room you must get the dog to sit in the hall way.Say goodboy and then you go to the door with its leash and call it " come" then "sit" again and attach leash.Dog must be calm for all of this exercise.Can be given a treat for correct response for each command and then it is essential that you step out of door first so that dog sees you are pack leader.Repeat many times.You are correct to be frayed out.A dog who thinks he is in charge is in the wrong enviroment in the home You muzt tell this to boyfriend because dog is only dog and can only be expected to do what he is taught to do.
...............................
|
