A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I really need your help! I have been dating my boyfriend now for 2 years and i am now trying to avoid sex. Im very shy about it and have started refusing it. Im very embarrased about the fact that i cant get on top of him. When i have tried in the past it just doesnt work. I cant get the rhythm right, my thighs really hurt and i get tired and out of breath within minutes. Its really embarrasing and my boyfriend was always very understanding until one night he just burst out laughing when i was trying. This totally knocked my confidence. He was my first but as he is 6 years older than me i was not his. I have always asked him how many partners he had before me but he never answers. A friend of his said he used to be quite a ladies man and pick up girls in clubs. He is very good in bed and always knows what to do. I feel like im not able to please him and if this carries on im scared he will leave me. Could you please give me some tips on how to build my confidence and how i master the on top position?I would be so grateful for your help thankyou.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009): Looks like you might need to get a copy of both the Kama Sutra and The Joy of Sex and learn all they have to teach you about intimacy and sex.
Don't think during sex. Just let it happen. Do whatever comes to mind that isn't violent.
Now, what does it matter how many girls he's slept with? Why does that have any bearing on how you two feel about each other?
Why are you insecure and jelous about women you;ve never met before? He's with you NOW and thats all that matters, isn't it.
He broke up with those women for a reason. And he started a relationship with you for the same reason he started with them. Because he loves you.
Will it last? Who knows. But life will unfold as it should. Just have fun and love each other in the NOW. Don't think to hard about where you will be in 5 or even 10 years. Just think about how you feel NOW.
Flynn 24
A
male
reader, lostlover3  +, writes (25 January 2009):
So far in my life I have met one woman who could rock the man's world. Till this day I doubt her. A woman physically is meant to recieve don't be ashamed you can't give learn to recieve well. Eventually the idea of how will click and you will rock his world too.
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A
female
reader, salvadda  +, writes (25 January 2009):
 There is nothing to feel embarrased about. You did say ur b/f is understanding, that helps. If he laughed at u it might have in because he thought u were cute..*s* Just because you are on top it doesn't mean you have to do all the work. If he is experienced as u think he is he can do the work even with u on the top. If u start to get tired ask him to take over so to speak. There r many women with back problems that have no choice be to be on top, so it is very common. Give urself a chance, and try not get discouraged. It's ok to be shy, and its good that u r willing to try new things as long as u feel comfortable and safe. You have been together for 2yrs. he will understand if u talk with him. About the past women in his life, there is no need to go there. You live in now. I don't believe it does anyone any good to talk about past romances. I'm sure there r things in your pasts you would like to keep to urself. Take it to heart he is with you now and has been for 2yrs. The women in the past r gone and keep it that way. Hope this helps you out.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009): I just wanted to tell you that I've only had one sexual partner in my life and that was my ex fiance. I also never liked this position for the reasons you stated before. It just doesn't work for me, I don't feel anything but pain on my knees and in the deepest part of my vagina. Just wanted you to understand that you are not the only one. But I cannot give you anymore advice because although I did it I dont' feel the same as before and don't like to encourage sex outside of marriage.
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A
female
reader, closet_freak +, writes (25 January 2009):
 So, how exactly are u trying to do the cowgirl position? I find it easiest when i am on my knees, not trying to sit up on your feet like you see in the porn flixs! Don't try to go up and down at first, just grind back and forth, make circles whatever is easiest for you... instruct him to lay still until you signal to start matching your movements.. when you are on top you have control, and once you get the hang of it, you will love it!
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (25 January 2009):
 Well, this position does put the woman in better control, but the man also thrusts upward and, perhaps, just following his rhythm should work. When in the man-on-top missionary position, the woman also responds to his rhythm. It seems pretty much the same to me and seems to come fairly naturally to many women. But if you are uncomfortable with that, there is an array of other positions for the sake of variety.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009): Don't worry too much about being on top, that position is almost specifically designed to give the woman the most pleasure by allowing the woman navigate herself into a position that makes the penetration hit all the right spots I mean all he has to do is lie there and enjoy the view while you get off on him, you said he's good in bed so you do already give him a lot of pleasure.
I suggest having a look at the various sexual position sites and stuff there are online, there are loads of ways of doing it without tiring yourself out too quickly. Positions like the reverse cowgirl etc.
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