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I'm not a virgin. How do I hide this from my husband on my wedding night?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 March 2017) 9 Answers - (Newest, 22 March 2017)
A female India age 22-25, anonymous writes:

how can i hide from my husband on first night that i m not a virgin

View related questions: wedding, wedding night

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2017):

Not every woman bleeds her first time. I think any kind of operation here is too extreme. Just go slowly, act a little nervous (or maybe you won't have to act, maybe you will actually be nervous, which would be normal) and act like it hurts a little bit the first time. How could he possibly know otherwise?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2017):

I was a bonafide 100% Virgin on my wedding night and my husband accused me of not being a virgin as I clearly enjoyed it "too much" in his humble opinion.

I was very very hurt. I had not ever done anything with any male. He could have walked from one country to the next and there would not be one man who could have ever said they "did" anything with me.

I was happy I had remained a virgin.

He also complained that none of my nighties were sexy enough and asked why I did not wear a see through nightie on my wedding night. I told him that I did not know such nighties existed

He never apologized either for accusing me of not being a virgin.

so I suggest that you do not be too enthusiastic. Do not wear anything sexy. and then ask him to teach you how to do everything. and act amazed.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2017):

I live in a western culture. Should I lie to my spouse about my education or job or credit history or criminal record?

Don't blame me, I'm being forced to lie by my culture. The culture places very high values on these things. Telling my fiance the truth about my history would be trouble.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2017):

I am assuming you are going into an arranged marriage,that is why the worry, that he may cause trouble accusing that he has been sold a used good. My advice is just keep quite put your head up and insist that you are virgin. my guess is he can never tell the difference. But if you think that you may be in a life threatning situation tell your mother and seek her help. No matter how angry she might be at first but she will help to find a way out. such as having it stitched a day or two before the wedding day.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2017):

"how can i hide from my husband on first night that i m not a virgin"

By not marrying him, that way you won't have to lie to or keep secrets from him.

Just remember deception is a two-way street which makes me wonder what HE might be hiding from you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2017):

He won't be able to tell whether you're a virgin just by having sex with you

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2017):

Is he a virgin?

Why does it matter

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2017):

Don't get married if you intend to lie to him. Be an adult,discuss the matter. If he is okay with it,great. If not, you're gonna ruin your marriage anyway by starting it off with a lie.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom + , writes (18 March 2017):

Denizen agony auntThis may be a cultural problem for you so I suggest you look within your own culture for a solution.

I believe there is a medical operation available in some clinics. Others here will probably tell you more.

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