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I'm married but still in love with me ex. Should I give it a go with my ex and risk loosing everthing with my husband?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Marriage problems, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 January 2007) 34 Answers - (Newest, 20 November 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm married, but still love my ex.

I have been married for nearly a year now, together for nearly 5, but I am still in love with my ex. We regulary text each other and occasionally see each other (not sexually). We both get on really well but he wasn't ready for a relationship so we split. I then met my husband who I do love but am not "in love" with, he is really good to me but I cant help thinking about my ex. My ex has now said that he wants to be with me and I know we would be great together, but I dont know whether to give it a go and risk losing eveything with my husband or just to be happy with what I have got.

What should I do?

View related questions: my ex, text

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A female reader, confused.comm United Kingdom +, writes (20 November 2010):

hello guys,i know its easy to pass judgement on all of the people who have expressed their feeling but at times as humans we make the decisions that we think are right due to curcumstances at the time and i am one of them i got married personally because i thought my time was running out and all my friends where married and at the time i trully did think that my husband was the right person for me and i can say that for all the 5yrs i have been married i have never been trully happy,we have even sapareted and tried to lead our own lives and i have tried to move on but i always find myself foning my ex and we end up talking on the fone but ex lives in south africa and is married with three kids,my husband and i have had our ups and downs but in all these times i have never been faithfull to him i have dated other man not that i was inlove with those other man but i needed to find some sort of pasion in my life,wen i look at all the things that i have done i realise i have been inlove with my ex who is the fathe of my son but he dumped me and all the time i am the one who looks for him and at one point he told me he was happy eith his wife and didnt want to be any thing other than friends but then he started to text and tell me how much we are meant to be together and tho he still wants he family he wants me too this really threw me cause this is something i have been looking to hear for the past 8yrs we have been apart so now i don't even know what to do even Tho we haven't seen each other for all this time i just feel actually i can honestly say i am inlove with him but i dnt want to make a hasty decision and end up the loser in all of this tho i am not happy all i am scared to trust my ex as i think he might just want sex and he is not really on the same page as me pliz someone HELP!!!!!!!!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010):

I am in the same predicament with you. I love my husband with all my heart, but cant seem to forget my ex. But you are married, you entered a new realm now. It would be different if you were just dating but you obviously married your husband for a reason. It seems kinda harsh but you need to do what you have to do. You either split, and loss all of the reason to why you married your husband or loss the boy toy on the other end. You cant drag them along, you need to choose whats more important to you. For me it was my husband, it was hard to let go of my ex, and ill admit i think of my ex often but you have to either let it go, or not. In the end you are only hurting yourself. Decide girl friend, you'll cry and you'll hurt but stop fouling yourself. You know whats best for you, and if you dont know, you need to discuss your feelings with your husband, you dont need to confide and tell all your problems to your ex. Its not his place. Just remember your vows and the commitment you made.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2010):

to 67hotrod: "I left for a reason. I made my choice, and I have to let my yes mean yes." i read your story and this is one of the most profound words i read in a long time. it is so easy to forget and time heals and we start only remembering the good and not the bad or tainted. you made a decision and you have been honourable with your decision. it was a choice, a hard choice and it takes guts, determination, values, morals and ultimately character to stick with your decision. i am glad you have been realisitc in deciding your yes was meant to be a yes.

good luck for the future and may you, one day, have those same intense feelings for your husband. work on it, embrace it and one day.......

-LoveGirl

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2010):

i am in a similar sitution my self but its my ex who is getting marryed and we have a kid together and been seen each other for ten years even doe he has been with his girlfriend. i think u should talk to ur ex and see how he really feels and how ur relationship will last cause if u did leave your husband and the relationship with your ex did'nt last then u would lose eveything i say talk to ur ex frist before u make and choice good lucky in what ever u choice

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A female reader, 67hotrod United States +, writes (4 September 2010):

I have had this same question running thru my head for 22 years. Did I make the right choice? i love the man I left very much. But I left him for a reason. I have to remind myself of that every couple hours of every single day for the rest of my life. I have a very loving husband who takes very good care of me. I don't understand why I can't rid myself of these thoughts. Sometimes they are so overwhelming that I have to get away from my husband and children so they don't see my emotions coming to the front. I've never had contact with my ex in 22 years, but have seen him from a distance in public with his children. We made eye contact and I knew he felt the same as I did. I moved an hour away and still I wake up and he is the first thought in my mind, and I go to bed thinking of him. I've beat myself up over this because I know it's wrong. I have NO ONE to tell this to, except Jehovah, and I feel so guilty over my feelings that I don't talk to him near what I should. Even if I let all this out, lost everyone dear to me, and hurt my husband, I still have this thought in my head-I left for a reason. I made my choice, and I have to let my yes mean yes.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2010):

i have been with my husband a year... at first when we got married he was everything to me..

but as time went by he became more cold...

he got used to me so our romantic life went down the drain...

one day i caught myself thinking about my ex... as the days went by i would think about him more... this was weird because i would see him at school..

one day i texted him to see how he was and ever since then we have been texting.. i told my husband and he didnt mind at all... wierd i know

well things got worse i wanted my ex not my husband.. i was happier just thinking of being with my ex... my and my husband wouldnt talk i started being a jerk with him just because i was unhappy with him...

one day i decided to tell my husband that i had feelings for my ex.. i thought the problem was going to get a solution by me and my husband getting a divorce and me going with my ex but that wasnt the case at all...

my husband just sat there crying... he said he had a feeling our relationship was in disaster... i felt horrible seeing my husband sitting there crying knowing i broke his heart tore me apart... i felt like the worse wife ever...

i began to think i decided i wanted to get married and i had to fix this now... i knew that once i only saw my husband and only had feelings for him because i was crAZY about him.. so i cut my ex out of my life... no phone calls no text nothing

i told my husband who is the nicest guy in the world, that i would change, but that he had to change too the man i met he agreed... so right now me and my husband are happily married and my ex is out of the picture

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2010):

I find me self in your same EXACT situation. Same thing happened and is happening NOW. I am married as well just that my ex is married as well but is un happy and regrets his marriage now. He wants to go out on a date with me and but i don't know if i should do it or not? A big part of me wants to take the risk and go out for that date he wants but then everytime i look at my husband the same big part of me that does want to is telling me as well not to do it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2009):

Oh can I feel your pain..

I know what your feeling as I myself am still in love with my ex. We met when he was 14 (21 yrs ago) and were best friends until the age of 17 when we decided to try it as boyfriend-girlfriend. After 5 more yrs together, and me being absolutely horrible to him in so many ways he left me..

I have been in a relationship for 12 yrs now, and 4 of them have been married. I thought this was the way to move on. But I have never forgotten him, and we have been in contact on a regular basis. He is everything to me and everything I want in my life.

His life is also complicated as he has a wife (separated) and 2 children who are his world.

He is my soulmate and life is so lonely without him. He is in my thoughts every day, from the time I get up till the time I go to bed. He is the love of my life.

It's so nice being about to write about this, as it helps process things. I feel that I am being very selfish in so many ways... Especially to my husband. Who I do love, but am not in love with..

Many decisions need to be made, but I feel that life is too short to live in a life that is a lie.

And it may never work out with my ex either, but I need to be honest with my husband and my heart.

Good luck to all of you with the same issue I am having. It's very hard to not be with the one you truly love.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2009):

Omg.... I am so glad I am not the only one feeling like this!!

I got married last year, no babies yet... but are trying to get pregnant. One day I looked for my ex on facebook, and happened to find him. I sent him a message and he responded back... we've been texting, chatting and talking on the phone since then. I don't know why I looked for him, he was my high school bf and we used to have a lot of fun together. We've been talking for 2 months now, and he says he never forgot about me, that I am his princess and he wants to be w me. He lives 2 hrs away from me, but he says that he wants to see me, that he would drop everything if I tell him to come over.We haven't seen each other in 10 yrs. I am so afraid of this feeling, I love my husband he would never ever cheat on me.... his only bad thing is that he is really cold with me and this other guys is completely the opposite. This is gonna sound corny but I am addicted to this guy, I cant wait for my husband to live in the morning so that I can chat w him, lately when I am intimate w my husband I've thinking about my ex, I know I am not doing the right thing, I feel so confused and guilty. Another thing I've been thinking on put on hold the getting pregnant thing....my husband doesnt want me to go back on the pill, but I feel like I should wait one more year just cuz I have no idea whats gonna happen. Should I go back on the pill and not tell my husband about it? Should I see my ex and finally find out if this is real? should I stop this feeling from getting stronger? or should I follow my heart???

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A female reader, amyrechel United States +, writes (17 February 2009):

In my answer I just left you, the last sentence makes no sense. I meant to type I would think the heart usually wins over the mind... Thank you...

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A female reader, amyrechel United States +, writes (17 February 2009):

After reading all the responses to your question, I feel relieved that Now I know i'm not alone in this world. I used to be married to my children's father, but alot of things just took a tole on our marriage. We've been seperated for almost 5 Years and I still LOve him.. I'm mean, they say you'll never forget your first love, well I had another relationship before him and I don't even remember that guys name J/k But anyhow, I am married now and I have another child by my husband. I can't remember any of the bad that happened when i see my X husbands face. All I remember is the good. He Just got married a week ago to his wife and crazy as it sounds it broke my heart. anyways, If you love your X so much where you always think of him quietly then the only thing i can say is to go with your heart. Just think also that You have a man now in your life that you said vow's with. its really complicated but... I would The heart somehow has a way of usually winning over the mind...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008):

i know how u feel. i'm having the same problem except that my ex doesnt know that i still love him.. i've been married for 3 yrs now, we have a son, he'll be 2 this july. what i have with my husband is something i consider peaceful.. no complicated or watsoever.. but i still love my ex who left me 8 years ago for someone else.. sometimes i hate myself because my husband is a very wonderful man.. right down to the heart, it just that i dont love him.. but i love our relationship..

it hurt, i mean really hurt when i'm with my husband, my mind wandering about my ex.. every question pop in my head & the urge to see him is so strong.. but i have to stop doing this..

i dont know how to answer your question, but i have question myself, does this really necessary? will my husband hate me? why did i marry my husband knowing i love someone else instead.. does my ex worth that much as my family?

God, i cant be selfish.. but then i think, what about my happiness when all i want to do is please everyone around me & forget about myself? its been 8 years since he left me, but my feeling is as strong as it was yesterday.. i dont know the answer myself..

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2008):

I really feel sorry for the people you are married to why did you marry them in the first place? good idea at the time? I say grow the hell up before you make what may be the biggest mistake of your life.

I know what I am talking about I found out two years ago my husband had been emailing & calling his x for the past five

years I almost killed myself over it all the trust in our thirty five year marraige is gone I found out she only contacted him because she had no money & had just been dumped by her fifth husband!!! you can find out so much about people on the internet I even found out she had a rap sheet!!! so before you throw away what you all have take a little advice from a women that has been in this world a few years do not hurt your husband or wife for what could be because once you open that can of worms a lot of lives can be destroyed.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2008):

I dated my ex off and on for 7 years when we were in College and after but he was commitment phobic and after a couple of years we'd break-up (then come back together) I got sick of this and decided I needed some stability. I got the stability. My husband is stable, he loves me in his own way but we don't have much in common. I miss my ex because he was my best friend and we grew from kids to young adults together. My ex and I occasionally correspond via email and phone calls but have not seen eachother in 4 years. I still miss him every day. I think i need to loose my husband and just be on my own. I know my husband is wrong for me either way, but the ex complicates things.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008):

i see that i am not the only one with such a problem as well! lol.

i dated my ex for a very long time, but life is cruel.. each of us has his own life now.. i am married and have 2 kids, and he is engaged ready to get married this summer.

we still talk, via email, text messaging and sometimes over the phone.

i cant do anything honestly, me and him both share strong strong feelings towards each other, but i dont think our relationship can go any further...i am too afraid to lose my kids if i ever decided to leave. what makes things even worse is that my husband loves me a lot. i love him but i am not in love...

so i gues i am gonna live unhappy all my life, just pretend i am happy and everything is ok.

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A female reader, bella23 Australia +, writes (21 January 2008):

I understand what you are going thru. I am currently going thru the same only with me I have my son to worry about.

I think ultimatly only you can answer what you should do, you need to question weather or not you are completly happy and will you continue to be happy when your old. You need to decide and I personally would do it before you choose to have children (if you havent got any that is).

I am currently going thru the same as I stated above. I have been in contact with my high school boyfriend (ex now) we broke up as we we're too young to start anything serious and I was not exactly healthy at that point and it was too much pressure from everything. We went our seperate ways but I always remembered him and now our lives have crossed again. Mind you we live about 1.5hours away from each other now. We exchanged emails and have been chatting online for a while. That was until about 3 days ago I put my it out on the table how I felt as it was on my mind and I thought it was going to help me get it off my mind and I would feel better, except now I feel worse as I have not heard from him so I have no idea what to think!

I dont feel quilty for being in contact with him the only thing I feel quilty about is my son and I feel as though I am cheating him.

Hope you work everything out within yourself and hope you make the right decisions.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2008):

I too am going thru the same sort of thing. Though I do have a son with my husband which is what is making it a lot harder. My ex is someone from back in high school. We were together for about a year and broke up as we were both too young and needed to experience life. When then went our seperate ways and our lives have crossed paths again. We exchanged email adds and have been emailing for a bit and chatting on line. We talk about the past and what our lives would of been like now. However I feel like I've put my foot in it, I expressed in an email how I felt and have not heard from him since. This was 3 days ago...lol. I dont know if I am just remembering the past and that's where I was my happiest or if its the lack of emotional intimacy that I lack with my husband.

I love my son and I feel as if his the only reason I staying. But I must add to have my son I went thru hell and back as we were not yet married. I still wonder if the things which were said back then still hold any value.

I do believe that you may be holding on to the past as I am and remembering things that happened when you were a lot happier.

I hope you work out your love life xox

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2008):

I know exactly what u are going thru! I am going thru the exact same thing!!! Its so hard!!! I need help... been married for 6 yrs now and still in love w/ my ex... don't wanna hurt my husband b/c he is the father of my son, but he deserves someone to love him, like I deserve to be loved as well! I would not leave my husband fo rmy ex... I would leave b/c I'm not happy and neither is he!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2007):

Don't worry sweaty I'm in the same boat your in and I'm scared to death of the out come.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2007):

Hey i'm having the same problem accept Im not married or with any guy it's a difficult situation but if i were you i would stay with my husband. I would stay with my husband because like you said he treats you well and also you ex boyfreind broke up with you right??? yeah and he said he wasnt ready for a relationship?? which is not cool cause you been waiting for him and now he's ready? i would just go psh im tired of waiting im not going to throw my life away for you...hope everything is ok!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2007):

the reason you werent able to fall in love with your husband is cuz your ex was always in the pic if you let go completely maybe things would have ended up different i think its best if you let your husband go and let him find happiness else where its not fair for him what you are doing if it was the other way around you wouldnt like it

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2007):

I have been in love with this man since I was 17. I married another- Did not want to- But it was an arranged marriage- Since- then the ex an I have had each of us- 2 diff marriages- now we meet again- No sex- but we still love each other- The catch- He is married to someone else and I am getting a divorce. He says he loves both of us. I know that he loves me- and he is the love of my life- I have always loved him always- I did not know that he loved me too- but now I do- What should he do? What should I do? I really love him. He says he loves us both.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007):

Hi, I am like you in the same boat. But i have 4 kids. My ex and I spilt becasue i was moving away but that never happened and life whirled me by him, I speak to him everyday. My dreams are full of him but there is the point of My ex adn I never in the whole time we were dating slept together. Is this WHY my ex is stuck in my mind? maybe so but i owe my husband alot, I am not 100% happy I feel like a slave and my home is a prison BUT. My husband brought me a house, a horse, a car, gave me my 4 children. WOuld i give all that up for my Ex? I Love my husband but my EX is my first love don't we all hold a torch for our first love? I wouldn't put my marriage on the line just to see if i could have my ex. becasue even doing that my ex has everything to gain and i could lose him adn my life as i know it. My husband put that ring on my finger adn it has not moved since that day. My ex did propose but i said no it was my loss and i have to move on with my life.

My husband is the most caring man and willing to please mani have ever known apart from my ex both of them are alike in many ways maybe this is why i settle for my husband becasue of what he has in him that my ex does.

Someone asked why you marry when your not in love with that person. I trully thought i was in love with my husband or i would never of married him. after bumpping into my ex in town 4 years later i realixzed i wasn't and i found all the faults in my marriage all the little things we look over and they grew to the point i had to admit i was wrong. now i have made the choice to live this way at least until my children are older. my Ex may be there for the rest of my life he may fade away. I dont know the outcome and i dont know my future but its me that holds the key to unlocking the doors and i refuse to open up the door that will cause unhappiness to 5 people and happiness and love to 2. I made my bed its time i learnt to lay in it. Maybe oneday i will be able to see what life would of been with my ex but until such a time. i have a gold band on my finger, a roof over my head, 4 beautiful children and a man that loves me and would pull down the world for me. I'll can live with that if i makehim happy for all the other things he has given to me then my being unhappy for a short time is worth it. I would rather be unhappy and make him and my family happy.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2007):

i am on the other side of this. just think for a moment about your love's wife or husband for once! they are a person, too and you cant just jump in on their relationship. you need to move on and let go of the past. my husband of 3 years still contacts his first girlfriend, even called her the other day and i just noticed he included her as his myspace friend. it makes my stomach turn. i feel like he married me because i am an ideal girl, but his heart is with this other girl. it makes me nauseous but i am not giving up my marriage. its tough because i do not respect or trust my husband and I am a good, caring person who deserves more.

my advice, let him/her live their life and have enough respect for their current partner by moving on to someone who is available.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2007):

I am right there with you, my ex and I had a very interesting situation that followed in our breakup he got married right away because his family thought it was the best for him, i met my (husband) right after our breakup, my ex got divorced right after that and I got pregnant. Funny thing is I never was in love with my husband, I loved him and still go,but I have never fallen out of love with my ex. We talk literally everyday, if I have problems with my husband he is the first that I run to. I have been (sexually) with him a few days ago, and am now more confused more than ever!! I dont know if I should get a divorce from my husband or not. I know that it isnt fair to my husband to be this way, but I dont think he would divorce me due to our son.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2007):

I'm in the same boat with you. When I married my husband I honestly thought I was in love with him. I heard those Three little words, and I instantly fell. We have been married 2 years and we have a 2 year old daughter. I have never forgotten about my ex. He has always been on my mind for the past 4 years. That is how long I have been with my husband. I saw him about 6 months ago and all those feelings that i thought were gone came flooding back. Now What do I do. Like everyone else says yes they love there husband but they aren't really in love. And if the ex and I would of worked out we would of been good. But I guess the timeing was off. Now I wonder if we should of tried harder. I know I would of married him if my now husband hadn't come along. He also believes the same thing. And he tells me he's not getting married because he can't marry me. What do you do with that. I think I should try and stick it out with my husband for our daughters sake but that is it. If your not afraid like I am maybe you should take that jump. Life is short I guess we should do what we think is best.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2007):

I am in exactly the same situation.

I say, leave your husband & be with the one you truly love. If not, you will always wonder. Even if things don't work out with your ex, at least you will know & you know that you gave it a shot.

Good Luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2007):

It seems to me that its better to stay with what you have than to pursuit something that you THINK you can have with your "ex". There is a reason why EX means past lover. Don't fool yourself in trying to hold on to the ex when its clear that your moment with him has ended long time ago.(it ended the moment you married)But then again all we can really do in life is trust in ourself to make the right decision.Good luck!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007):

I'd love to comment :) Great let me give you my opinion!

Why are you married?? If your in love with your ex, your in love with your ex?? Why did you waste your husband's time!!! I feel sorry for the guy!! Where are your feelings for him and yourself!! Forget trying to make marriages work with someone your not in-love with (for faces sake or our bs society) and be honest!! Be honest with your husband, be honest with your ex, but more importantly be honest with yourself and stop wasting your precious life you have been given by being in something that isnt counting for you everyday you are alive!! You will respect yourself more for being homest! I'd have to question your ex's motives!! I mean what guy doesnt commit to you in the first place????? I cannot understand why people get married and have kids to people they dont love??? Can u explain this cause I cannot see any rationality!

Question: Wouldnt you rather live everyday happy & in love then being married 10 years & not in love?? If your ex only wants u because your not available then sorry, I dont think thats love because they should have committed to you earlier when you were going out and you should be smart enough to see this! Some people are never happy!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007):

I'd love to comment :) Great let me give you my opinion!

Why are you married?? If your in love with your ex, your in love with your ex?? Why did you waste your husband's time!!! I feel sorry for the guy!! Where are your feelings for him and yourself!! Forget trying to make marriages work with someone your not in-love with (for faces sake or our bs society) and be honest!! Be honest with your husband, be honest with your ex, but more importantly be honest with yourself and stop wasting your precious life you have been given by being in something that isnt counting for you everyday you are alive!! You will respect yourself more for being homest! I'd have to question your ex's motives!! I mean what guy doesnt commit to you in the first place????? I cannot understand why people get married and have kids to people they dont love??? Can u explain this cause I cannot see any rationality!

Question: Wouldnt you rather live everyday happy & in love then being married 10 years & not in love?? If your ex only wants u because your not available then sorry, I dont think thats love because they should have committed to you earlier when you were going out and you should be smart enough to see this! Some people are never happy!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007):

I'd love to comment :) Great let me give you my opinion!

Why are you married?? If your in love with your ex, your in love with your ex?? Why did you waste your husband's time!!! I feel sorry for the guy!! Where are your feelings for him and yourself!! Forget trying to make marriages work with someone your not in-love with (for faces sake or our bs society) and be honest!! Be honest with your husband, be honest with your ex, but more importantly be honest with yourself and stop wasting your precious life you have been given by being in something that isnt counting for you everyday you are alive!! You will respect yourself more for being homest! I'd have to question your ex's motives!! I mean what guy doesnt commit to you in the first place????? I cannot understand why people get married and have kids to people they dont love??? Can u explain this cause I cannot see any rationality!

Question: Wouldnt you rather live everyday happy & in love then being married 10 years & not in love?? If your ex only wants u because your not available then sorry, I dont think thats love because they should have committed to you earlier when you were going out and you should be smart enough to see this! Some people are never happy!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2007):

Oh my, I could go on for hours on this one. I'm in the same boat. My ex-boyfriend and I were never married, but together for 5 yrs. (from aprox 18 to 23 yrs old) we split the sheets and he starting dating a girl right away. They finally got married after about 6 yrs. And we have now been apart for 10 yrs and I we have not been able to be faithful to anyone else. We always find our way back to each other somehow... He is married and has 2 little girls. I am married and have 2 little girls, and I desperately want him and I back together. Since we broke up, I have never found a relationship like him and I had. I'm constantly looking, but after 10 yrs now... I'm still very much in love with him. I'm just as confused as you are. I know people say "there is a reason why he's an ex" and i just blame that on us both being young and not sure of what we wanted yet. But now we are 33 yrs old and still act like we are teenagers when we are together. Will I ever be able to put him behind me? I seriously doubt it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007):

You chose to get married. You owe it to your husband to try to make a go of your marriage.

Your ex wasn't ready to commit to you when you were single; and he cannot commit to you now that you're married. I don't mean to be cruel, but telling you he wants to be with you now is certainly "safe" for him!

You could lose what you have and as CD says, get hurt all over again.

Not worth it......

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (18 January 2007):

cd206 agony auntNobody can answer this question for you although I do have to wonder why you got married when you were still in love with someone else. It's really important that you make this decision and then stick by it. Really you owe it to your marriage to try and make it work but seeing as you don't mention any kids etc then I guess you still have time to be thinking only of yourself in this relationship but be aware of this.... your ex was scared of commitment before and by getting back with him you might just be opening yourself up for the same hurt over and over again.

CD

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