A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have this problem i have been married for nine years now,which were not always happy times.20 years ago i dated this guy in the 9th grade. i knew then he would be the one for me, but we some how loss contact with each other,bot never broke up. i thought about him on a regular bases. and recently saw him at the gym. we start talking again on our cell phone.he is not married, but his girlfriend stay with him.my marriage has pretty much ended already. but we still love each other.this guy is the love of my life and i am the love of his. we never had a sexual relationship back then,but we want one now.we both never stop loving each other,as a matter of fact he move to my home town nine years ago looking for me. and found me nine years to late. i still love him so much,i feel like we are in high school when we talk, which is every day he get upset if we dont talk or text each other. what should i do?
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female
reader, rorowes +, writes (2 May 2008):
 I agree with Kimaxsi. Have you ever heard of the 80/20 concept? You leave the 80 for the 20 and end up miserable and even possibly alone. Watch the new Tyler Perry movie with Janet Jackson. It has some good marriage advise in it.
A
male
reader, eddie  + ♥, writes (2 May 2008):
 He moved to your home town looking for you???????? Does that really sound believable? Work on your marriage.
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A
female
reader, Kimaxsi +, writes (1 May 2008):
You said your marriage is pretty much over? Are you in the process of divorce? Are just marital problems? If you don't love your current husband and no longer wish to work to make your marriage work, maybe it is time for a divorce. It sounds like you are in love and have never stopped loving the other guy, its a risk and it may be if you do get with your old sweetheart the fantasy will fall short of reality and you'll end up alone. But in love we take risks and huge leaps up faith, if the old sweetie is your great love than, I think you are probably feeling you've got to go for it but just need reassurance.
Don't cheat on your husband though, that's just not right, if the relationship is truly over talk to your husband and together decide what do about it. If not, if its just that you love this other guy more and there is nothing really wrong with your marriage, you need to really think long and hard and figure out if you want to stay in this marriage (which you committed nine years too already) and if you still love the man you married or if you ever did. If you don't then setting him free would allow your husband to find a reciprocal love, which he deserves. Does your husband know you've been seeing this other man?
Also keep in mind, that your excitement for this other guy could wear off, its always super-exciting in the beginning and I am sure this guys attention and pining for you, is like a romantic fairy-tale come true, we all want to feel loved and adored and maybe your husband just hasn't been showing that kind of interest in you either lately or ever. Be careful you don't ruin your marriage for a temporary rush. The rush may even be shadowing your feelings for your husband.
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A
female
reader, rorowes +, writes (1 May 2008):
You are living in the past. You need to look at this as a 30 something year old woman. Find out where your marriage is going and take care of that first. If he really loves you, he'll also do the same and THEN, and only then should the two of you persue a intimate relationship. You don't want to start off on the wrong foot, it won't last.
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