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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi everybody. I would like to get response mostly from men.When a guy flirs with a married woman what goes on his mind? Is he only after sex? Does he think bad of the woman if she flirts wih him?I am asking this because there is this very good looking waiter at my favorite restaurant and I think we are flirting. He sees me with my husband and child. At first I wasn't sure if he was flirting or if he was just veing very nice. But we keep looking at each other from afar and he is hot as hell. I'm 29 but I hear all the time I look 20,21 at the most. He must be 25 at the most.Now I am madly in lust with him and of course I feel bad. He is soooo handsome. Last time I went there I was going crazy with our stares from afar.So, just trying to know what goes on his mind about me?I do not know anything about him, not even his name...Now I feel tempted to go there some day by myself just to see how he would treat me.He is so hot...I have never been attracted to younger men and he is red head...I have never been attracted to read heads either.So, I'm just feeling so tempeted to flirt more with him because he is soooooooooo hot. So, if he is flirting with me he is probably just looking for sex, right???I have never been so tempted in my life before... I should even stop going to this restaurant but I keep looking forward to go again and again...I must say he is the most good looking guy that has ever flirted with me. I can hardly believe a such beautiful guy and younger is loking at me the way he has looked... I am madly in lust with this guy...So, just trying to understand what may go through his head...
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male
reader, hhh  +, writes (2 September 2008):
I enjoyed reading your question.U have to be a little bit careful since your husband already has a doubt.Even i was in a relation with a married woman where i work with.We used to have serious eye contact and she talks to me like she is interested in me.we also had spent many times together. From that i came to understand that to have sex with someone who is interested in you is great.in your case, i think the waiter is interested to have fun with you or else why he has to check you out through the reflection in the wall ??? he might be shy and afraid to ask to you about this since you are married... but always be careful your husband has already told whats in your mind and it will always remain in his mind even if you believe that your husband is not jealous type...All men are jealous for their Gfriends or wife...dear think once more do you want to ruin your life for a matter of lust...
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk... so if he is flirting he is only after sex. But I must say I am not willing to have one night satnd with him...oh please... I am not a bitch. If I really wanted to have one night stand with him at all costs it would be very easy to instigate. All I gotta do is to go there by myself several times a week, get a little closer and ask for his phone number...done...
But I will not be doing that since I am not that kind of person at all.
I am just sharing I am insanily in lust with him that does not mean I am going to act on my lust but I pray to God he will never act either...if he did it would be almost impossible to resist...
He is soooooo sexy...
Maybe my lust for him makes me see his niceness as flirting... maybe he may be even not flirting at all... like I said before, these days I am having a very hard time knowing when a guy is being super nice or flirting.
What would be that one thing that absolutely stands up in the difference between being friendly and flirting??? What is the thing that a man will only do if he is really flirting?
Thanks
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A
female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (13 June 2008):
 Well I guess cute guys like the feeling that they can have any woman they want, even a married one. Just as you feel "lucky" for him looking at you, he feels all "manly" about this woman that checks him out even with her husband and kid there. Because by what you say, I am pretty sure he knows you like him and he likes the attention back.
Once again... not playing with fire is best!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008): you absulutely not only having crush on this guy, you are really willing to have at least one night stand to him.. dats the right words for that.well you can do it why not? do it now.. but what do you think is going to happen next? YOU will lose your husband you will break your family. are you ok with that? is it ok for you to break your family just to follow the things that you are wanting now? think of it. its nice feeling to have an extra relationship except from our husband, but think whats gonna happen next" dont tell me its just for fun! one time mistake is not a joke.. so dont say anybody here didnt answer your question, they did" with concern for you and for your family. if you dont like what people here how they answering you, its up to you then to do it and mess up your life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all who replied but nobody has really answered my question, what could go on his mind? I mean, a guy as handsome as he is I think he could have any girl he wants...so, why would he even bother flirting with a married woman?
I must say I have only been insane sexually attracted to a man TWICE in my life so far and unfortunately neither of the times it was with the man I ended up marrying. I love my husband but I have NEVER been crazy about him. I also must say this is not just a crush, it's lust in it's purest form...lol
He is so hot and at the same time he has this baby face, this innocent look... he looks like a model... He is absolutely gorgeous...Really...sometimes I can't believe he may be flirting with me...because he is too good looking. I mean, I know I'm pretty, attractive but I would say just normal pretty and attractive...nothing for a guy as hot as him to feel anything.
So, I will try to be very strong and not to go there anymore...if I don't see him anymore the lust will fade... but this is like the worst temptation ever... I have never had sex with a man I truly desired so I wonder wonder what it would be like to have sex with a man you are so in lust with him...but oh well...I guess I will never know...just in my imagination... lol
This restaurant is walking distance from my house, we have attendant this restaurant for at least 2 years but it was only last summer when I saw this waiter. At first I just thought he was very handsome and that was it, nothing above that.
It was only end of last year that I started feeling very attracted to him.
Once we went there on a weekday, because we just went there on the weekends. I thought he did not work there on weekdays. I was so sure he was not going to be there that I went there very plain, my hair was plain, my clothes plain, no make up at all and to make things worse I had a few breakups on my face because it was around my period and when I saw him I didn't even feel hungry anymore.
Then he just told me HI from afar. Then I went to the bathroom with my daughter and when we were leaving , guess who I saw on the hall? HE!!! I could hardly make any interaction...I kept slowing moving away from him, I just asked him how he was doing and he gave his hand to my daughter but she shied away from him and I said:' Sweetie, don't you want shake his hand?" And he said " it's ok... next time..." Then I said bye and left as I left, he said :" good seeing you again..." When I turn around to tell him the same he was already gone..."
So, was it only a coincidence I met him in the bathroom's hall? I doubted... but that day I was feeling super unattractive and bad for him to see me so plain like that and even so he was still super nice...
So, I don't know...maybe he is just super nice... maybe that is just how he is with everybody, maybe he may not be attracted to me at all... . Oh...but once while going to the bathroom I caught him checking me out through the reflection in the wall...
But whatever... I will try very hard not to go there anymore but it will be hard... My husband caught me looking at him end of last year and he even teased me about it, once he said I just wanted to go there to see the waiter and I told him not to be silly and that the guy is just cute. My husband is not the jealous type at all and has NEVER been...
Well...I will just stop going there and hopefully he will quit someday...how funny things are...I never imagine someday I would feel so sexually attracted to a younger man, read head and a waiter on my favorite restaurant... And to make things worse I can walk to this restaurant... if it was driving distance it would be easier to resist the desire to go there...
So any thoughts on why he would flirt with a married woman? Or is he really flirting? To be honest, these days I don't even know the difference anymore when a guy is flirting or if he is super nice... what is the main difference between being super nice guy and flirting?
I don't want him to think bad things about me so one side of me hesitates in the flirting so I just look at him from afar...
He is so beautiful...
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A
male
reader, JTalbott  +, writes (12 June 2008):
 Surprise! Just because you are married doesn't mean you don't develop crushes along the way. It a normal part of the wonderful joy of living.
However in your case, your life right now isn't about what is best for you. It's about what is best for your child and for your child's sake as well as yours, it is important that you let this crush gently go.
So enjoy the feelings you experienced in the past while discovering new foods at different restaurants. If you husband asks you why you suddenly like new venues, smile at him seductively and tell him it's because you love him something silly and leave it at that. Because by your selfless actions, you have quietly proven you really really do.
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A
female
reader, Minelisse +, writes (12 June 2008):
I understand how you feel and believe me we all want to feel sexy and this guy's attention sure helps. But, they say that he/she who does not want to get burned should not play with fire!!
Good luck!
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