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I'm male and wear women's panties. Do you out there think I'm an effeminate wimp?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Friends, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 March 2008) 41 Answers - (Newest, 23 September 2013)
A male United Kingdom age , *en avraham writes:

I've already sent this in but no reply. My problem is I've been wearing womens panties since I was 14, I wear a full brief panty mostly nylon plain no lace. I'm 5ft-7ins and small framed, I weigh 10st-7lb my chest is 34ins my waist is 28ins but my hips are 38ins,a lady friend says when I'm standing in front of her stark naked and with my back to her because I'm narrow shouldered, slender backed and feminine shaped hips I look more a woman than a man, I also have a very tiny penis and testicals. My lady friend says my penis is the smallest one she's ever seen 1.5/2ins when soft, 2.5ins when hard. She says I've female characteristics and I'm not as strong as the average man she is also stronger than me, she easly beats me at arm wrestling and she lifts me up off the floor no effort at all yet I can't lift her an inch, she believes maybe I should have been a woman. She also says she can easly beat me up and I know she can, even her hand shake grip is stronger than mine. Do you out there think I'm an effeminate wimp?

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A male reader, AndrewG United Kingdom +, writes (23 September 2013):

Now I don't think you're a wimp.

I'm 47 and I've started to buy knickers on line. I wear them in bed, sometimes for work (under my trousers. I've even bought them from shops and supermarkets. I even wear knickers at home and it I'm out shopping.

I'm going to take 14 pairs knickers on holiday with me. As for my jockstraps, men's G strings, thongs, boxer shorts and briefs they've all going to the charity shop.

From now on I'm going to be wearing knickers. I prefare knickers to my normal underwear.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2010):

"I'm male and wear women's panties. Do you out there think I'm an effeminate wimp?"

Well I'm a male, And I wear panties all the time. And I'm not a wimp. My boy you should'nt live your life being a prisoner based on the beliefs of others.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2010):

I am a man who wears girly knickers (panties) I am bi sexual but I have a girlfriend of 11 years and I asked her if she wuold mind me wearing knickers 6 years ago and I am still wearing knickers today. For me its my femine side but you don't have to be gay or bi to wear ladies underwear. You wear what ever you feel comfortable in there is nothing wrong with it in my view.

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A male reader, iwearwotiwant United Kingdom +, writes (7 August 2010):

i was wearing panties at 15 and still love wearing them. most men have a secret side . its wot makes us human

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A male reader, Panty boy United Kingdom +, writes (24 May 2010):

I also wear womans thongs/panties it's comfy

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2009):

no ur not a wimp mate . alot of men are like this and lead a happy and normal life . if you have feelings for other men then there would be something to get to grips with . at the moment its a harmless fetish you have . alot of men have the same fetish and live normal lives . so dont worry ok .

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2009):

yes for sure

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009):

No you are not a wimp. I fully understand how you feel, i have got the same problem. wearing womans panties makes you feel good and they are so soft.

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A male reader, cupidnow United Kingdom +, writes (14 November 2009):

I am just like you i love to wear silki frilly knickers,

a different pair every day, i wash them by hand/

Also started wearing a bra. They make you feel good as they are so soft.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2009):

sounds like an abuse triangle to me.

you want to be manly? or whatever I don't get the question :P

read every ones post :p

I am slender and have an hourglass shape and hell I wear womens jeans and underwear

size 0 pants and xs womens underwear.......... thats all that fit me and I cant gain weight

my waist is 24" my hips are 36" my chest is 35"

still I am stronger then a lot of the big masculine muscular type of guys.

people say about me "man hes small but BOY is he ever strong!"

I weigh 130lbs/83kg

never lost a fight in school.

what the hell does size have to do with anything? and who cares what you wear if it fits? :P

besides that mens clothing was always chafing me .... and even the SMALLEST mens cloths here look like baggy as heck on me and make it look like some black rapper with baggy pants hanging below my butt.

and there are some that poke fun at me about my shape if I don't know em why should I even react negatively, just thank them and blow a kiss lol they will get so pissed if there other dudes trying to make fun of you cause you just de-emasculated them in front of there friend :P

you have to bet there friend wont let them live that down ether hahahaha!

the day my guy buddy almost got himself another guy.

haha.

thats my way of revenge for those saps :P

I do the same with women only more intense and they start coming onto me also.

:P

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009):

I'm now in my late 50s and have worn girl's knickers since my teens. I nowadays wear my panties almost every day. I like silky/satiny feel knickers for comfort an sexy feel.

I'm totally hetero, and I love women. I don't mention it to others; I regard it as my business.

When I'm in bed with my girlfriend, I often wear plain white or black women's underwear, which could possibly be mistaken for mens. My partner has never mentioned it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009):

i wear womens bikini bottoms but i think their the same thing but i like it its a hot sexual thrill to me

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A male reader, cezzy United Kingdom +, writes (27 January 2009):

I'm male, 33 and wear womens panties 24/7 I have a wide range of knickers, mainley bikini briefs but also high leg. I have just started buying thongs as well, I change them daily and this gives me much delight. I hand wash my knickers every Sunday. I will never stop wearing them, there is no law saying men shouldn't wear knickers, it's a free country after all and I don't see any wimpishness about it either.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

I am a married man and I just love to wear knickers (UK for panties). I have worn them since my teenage years.

My wife knows this and I can wear knickers and thongs at home. As long as they are very plain and only one colour.

She freaks out if I wear 'girly' knickers with frills and bows and ruffles etc, which I love to do because I get so horny, so I have to wait till she goes out.

My wife knows that I wear 'girly' stuff because they all go in to the wash anyway and she separates them out at the end. It's just that she says it doesn't feel right to see me in such feminine gear.

And I am not gay, nor bi-sexual, nor have any feelings for men, nor a transvestite, just like to wear knickers

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2008):

I think it has nothing to do with penis size. In fact I have an above average cock and I still love to squeeze it into satin panties. Just wear what you feel, they'll understand and figure it out.......:)

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A male reader, Beans97 Canada +, writes (29 November 2008):

I also am a male that wears panties since I was 16 years old.I have been married as well.I was slendor till I was 45 years old.My penis was and still is small.1 inch soft and 1 1/2 inches hard.My wife had a hard time with it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2008):

You're a metrosexual. A lot of men like to wear womana panties.I'm to a metrosexual guy with a normal girlfriend and often she buys me a pantie just to make me feel good. The curiosity is that she kinda likes mw when i tried them on. We are both straight, so it's kinda normal, plus this days the world is full with feminity, that's why you try panties at a fragile age it's because we se to much feminity all around us. So be free to enjoy using womans panties.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2008):

Not at all. I'm a 51 year old widower who looks a lot younger than my years. I'm a big, strong, muscular guy and very straight indeed. Recently I started a relationship with a gorgeous 40 something lady.

Problem is, I live in the East Midlands and she lives near Manchester. So, to remind me of her, she sent me a pair of black lacey knickers of hers that she'd worn for an afternoon and masturbated in three times. Unsuprisingly, they smelt tanatlisingly of her. She suggested I might like to wear them and so I did, as she's a very special lady.

And it was a revelation to me. They felt absolutely great, so I wore them for the rest of the evening. It certainly helped me feel 'closer' to her and also appreciate just how lucky women are to wear stuff like this...

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (4 June 2008):

eyeswideopen agony auntHell man how can WE tell whether you are effeminate or not, and why are you asking?

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A male reader, ben avraham United Kingdom +, writes (4 June 2008):

ben avraham is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you for you`re answers some are very good but does`nt realy answer my question most women that know me say that they find me very effeminate they to pick up on that straight away and when they see me naked they say that my hips are shaped like a womens and because Ihave narrow shoulders and slender back my hips are wider than my back making me look female they also say I`ve feminine characteristics and believe I`ve more female hormones than male is this the answer

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2008):

Well I'm a man who wears "PANTIES" too,and I do'nt think I'm a wimp.I work in construction(Lots of HARD and dirty work) I wear "PANTIES" because I Like the way they feel.I Like all the different kinds,materials,colors,and the nylon feels so good holding your package all day.I just wish I had started wearing them years ago! I say do'nt knok it if U have'nt tried it

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008):

most men have experimented with womens underwear.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008):

Hi im ben avraham I just want to explain about my lady friend and me.As ive already stated that I wear womens panties my lady friend realy puts me at ease about it and the fact that I have female shaped hips and a very tiny penis. Her physical strength is far superior to mine and she is taller broader and heavier than me but im small framed anyway,i weigh 10st-7lb and she weighs 13st,i was stark naked when put right arm around my waist with her left arm she scooped my legs behind my knees and lifted up off the floor and carried me in her arms with greatest of ease she even carried me up the stairs and down again she said she couldnt get over how easy it was to carry me i felt a right wimp, but when im stanging in front of her just in my panties or stark naked and she is looking at me i feel vulnerable and feminine,she says because of my female shape and female characterists i am more like a women than a man

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008):

Hi im ben avraham I just want to explain about my lady friend and me.As ive already stated that I wear womens panties my lady friend realy puts me at ease about it and the fact that I have female shaped hips and a very tiny penis. Her physical strength is far superior to mine and she is taller broader and heavier than me but im small framed anyway,i weigh 10st-7lb and she weighs 13st,i was stark naked when put right arm around my waist with her left arm she scooped my legs behind my knees and lifted up off the floor and carried me in her arms with greatest of ease she even carried me up the stairs and down again she said she couldnt get over how easy it was to carry me i felt a right wimp, but when im stanging in front of her just in my panties or stark naked and she is looking at me i feel vulnerable and feminine,she says because of my female shape and female characterists i am more like a women than a man

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008):

I do not think you are effeminate wimp. You may have a small penis, even when erect, you may be slender and not built like most men, but that doesn't mean you are necessarily effeminate or a wimp.

Unfortunately, with our testosterone charged, gender stratified society, there is a lot of emphasis placed on being masculine if you are a man and feminine if you are a woman. This is a problem because there are many gender identities people can have, currently 7 based on what scientists have determined.

The question really comes down to how you feel. Do you feel more like a woman, i.e. a man trapped in a woman's body or do you feel like a woman trapped in a man's body. Some people have expressed that they felt like the opposite sex from a very young age. What sex or gender do you identify with most? This may be something you want to discuss with a psychologist if you are questioning your gender identity or sexual orientation, especially if you are struggling with how you feel.

If you are interested or comfortable, say more about your situation with regard to your feelings, that way people can better understand your situation.

Take care

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008):

Like everyone,you are what you want to be.

I'm a 51 year old male,and have preferd "nylon bikini panties" for 41 years. For me it is simply fit, feel, and function 24/7 under my jeans. Be who YOU want to be,wear what YOU want to wear,and be happy with yourself. Life is too short not to.

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A female reader, lil_lezza United Kingdom +, writes (2 April 2008):

lil_lezza agony auntyour not a whimp at all. I wear mens boxers all the time, i just prefer them from womens. Maybe your just more in touch with your feminine side, which is no bad thing. Please dont think your a wimp. If you need a chat dont hesitate to message me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2008):

Ben love I can pick my son up and yea he can swing me around and pop me behind his bed never to be seen again, you are not weak of heart my darling and this is what counts WITH MUCH LOVE MY FRIEND MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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A male reader, ben avraham United Kingdom +, writes (22 March 2008):

ben avraham is verified as being by the original poster of the question

some of the answers are o k but i must stress that i asked my lady friend for her opinion of me i.e what she thought of me for wearing ladies panties, what she thought of me when i was naked and about me as a person she said i would`nt like the answer, i told her just be honest and dont try being kind, she said i was a lovely man but well you know the rest.as she is taller and bigger made than me i asked her if she could pick me up off the floor and she did so with greatest of ease and beause i was absolutely stark naked at the time i felt like a wimp, when she put me down i tried to lift her but could`nt lift her an inch

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A male reader, SamuraiRick United States +, writes (7 March 2008):

SamuraiRick agony auntWhile it is true that you are human like the rest of us and may be a little different in how your body is shaped in every measurement you mentioned, don’t assume that everybody is going to be nice and respect you like you’ve gotten here so far. It’s a cruel world and your so-called female friend is among the ones that make it cruel. I would dissociate with her in the future. How did you end up showing her your penis anyway? Did you voluntarily show it to her because she was curious or were you intimate with her? Either way, what she said was uncalled for and inappropriate. She didn’t have to be a bitch.

But here’s the other side of it. The truth hurts and what this woman put you through is something you have to swallow and accept. You are born the way you are, but there are medical options that can help you. You need to see a doctor about getting testosterone in your system. You need to work out to build your muscles. And if I can be honest here, you have to stop wearing panties. You’re not wearing panties because they feel comfortable. You’re wearing them because you like wearing them.

I’m not saying you’re wrong for wearing panties, but if you are a guy like you seem to want to be then ACT like a guy even if you don’t feel like it now. You either have to jump to one side of the stream or the other. And if you insist on wearing panties all you are doing is entertaining your female side...if that’s the way you want to go so be it…you can get an operation too and be a more complete female if you wish. But its time to stop crying about not being “man enough” when you boldly embrace your female side by wearing panties! I’m saying it if nobody else is …..Stop the crying! Either “man up” and be a man, or “femme up”, keep wearing your panties, and stop complaining. If you are a wimp it’s in your indecisiveness of how you see yourself.

Let me tell you this from a man’s perspective. If you are a man nobody tells you what or who you are. You are a man. Nobody shakes you, no matter what the size of your penis or muscles. You are a man. You do not need the opinion of a bitch to tell you who you are. You are a man. Real men know this and we don’t even think about it. You are. Women sometimes see this cockiness in us men and complain that we act like badasses for our manly attitudes, but at the same time love us and respect us for it. Well this cockiness is also what makes us men. In the long run what I am saying is that confidence is also a big part of being a man...and that is also something you lack in and need more of.

Get your confidence adjusted, stop wearing panties and be a MAN. If you don’t think you can do that, well…

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2008):

Hi Hunny

It matters not what we think about you its how you feel about yourself, If you are happy and not hurting anyone then whats the problem I dont see one, Do you? Just be yourself and dont be influenced by others and its cool TAKE CARE LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2008):

Yes, what do you expect?

But ask yourselve this, do you two love each other? You say ladyfriend not girlfriend but since she seen you naked maybe you used the wrong worth.

Maybe you are just an odd couple, a butch female and a feminte guy, but if you are both happy with each other, who cares what anyone else might think.

Are you happy?

Oh and I often got to fight my gf for my own clothes, does that make her butch? (well no, for some reason there is nothing as femenine as a girl dressed in too large male clothes)

But don't let society make you unhappy, if the two of you can life with your differences (ask yourselve, is she perhaps a bit too masculine by normal standards?)

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (6 March 2008):

eyeswideopen agony auntI think YOU think you are an effeminate wimp. Does that bother you? Do you wish to be different? If you are unhappy about your situation you should look into all the alternatives there are availble to you to change it. Everybody deserves to be happy in their skin.

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A female reader, korculan queen Australia +, writes (6 March 2008):

What others think is irrelevant. What you think about yourself is relevant. If you wear female underwear that is your choice. No one on this earth has the right to judge you on a piece of material that you wear on your body. If you feel that you are not manly enough go to the gym to bulk up. Your female friend sounds like a bitch to be constantly labelling you as having a small wang and being womanly looking. Mate male models make lots of money just being as you described. Do not let anyone else in this planet judge you and label you and tell you how you are. You are you. You are special and mate don't live your life worrying about what others think of you. I am a domestic violence worker so I get labelled hairy legged lesbian or bitch or dyke but I just laugh when these labels come to me and hold my head up high. I also am a bellydancer so I have been labelled wicked harlot prostitute etc but I don't care I am beautiful and I choose not to live my life how others live theirs or how others want me too as I am too precious and priceless and unique for that. Remember the Bon Jovi song It's my life and Have a nice day? Crank them up full boar singing and dancing and live your life how you want because it is yours. Keep smiling mate.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (6 March 2008):

Tisha-1 agony auntHi Ben, you emailed me but didn't actually ask a question so I wasn't quite sure what the problem might be.

I just wonder why you would care what a bunch of strangers think about you? The only person whose opinion should matter is you! And it's nice to have the love and support of friends and family, but ultimately, it's up to you to be happy and secure in yourself.

I personally think you're a human being, just like the rest of us, with our own idiosyncracies and personal foibles. I'm sad for you if you somehow feel inadequate, but you should find strength and comfort in your own wonderful qualities!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008):

It doesn't matter what others think, only matters what you think and as long as wearing women's underwear isn't hurting your life out in the world in any way, then I guess it is working for you.

I of course find it weird, but I am a heterosexual female, so I don't get it....do you want to be a woman? Your question sort of asks this in a round bout way?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008):

No! I dont think youre an effeminate whimp. Everyone is made differntly and likes different things, and you are jsut being you!!

I dont think your lady friend is being a very good friend, but thats about it.

:-D Dont worry hun, be happy with who you are and dont let other peoeple try to change you!!

xxx

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008):

To be honest it sounds like you might have something called "klinefelter syndrome." Men are supposed to have XY chromosomes & women XX. Men with Klinfelter are XXY. The symptoms of the disorder range from nearly non-existant to obvious. You seem to be explaining some of the main ones (small testes, slender shoulders with wide hips, lack of strength). If you do in fact have this disorder you should go to a doctor & have it diagnosed. If so a doctor could give you tesosterone injections that would bring out more male characteristics (like improving you strength).

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A female reader, O Connor Ireland +, writes (6 March 2008):

O Connor agony aunti think that your 'lady friend' is an absolute bitch - excuse the harsh language - but how dare she put you down like that wen you are naked and vulnerable? wat makes her think that pointing out the size of your penis is in any way appropriate? im sure that she is far from perfect - maybe she should have been born a man if she thinks she is so strong and hard. first of all get rid of this woman - she is doing nothing for you and your self confidence! second of all i dont think that you are a wimp - its not like you stroll around in a black lace thong?!!! i dont think you're a wimp but i think you had some bad judgement in thinking this woman is a friend! i hope this helps somewhat i apologise for the harshness but it really angers me to hear ppl getting treated like that. email me if you want hun xxx

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A female reader, love-him United Kingdom +, writes (6 March 2008):

love-him agony auntHEY!!

Stop comparing yourself, and she shouldnt compare you either! i know a lad who wears girls underwear.. he says thay they are comfy..

Feel free to mail me at any time x x x

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A male reader, 17Irish17 United States +, writes (6 March 2008):

No, I dont think you are an effeminate whimp. You are a human being. I do have to ask, what is your obsession with beating and being beaten up?

If you like to wear womens panties because they feel better, go right ahead and wear them. No harm no foul!

Good luck

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