A
female
age
26-29,
*tephJayne
writes:I've been single for a while now, and I thought I was looking for some fun (had some bad experience with past relationships), but I've realised enough is enough, I'm not going out of my way to find a guy but I am sneakily looking lol..Anyway, I've been working with this guy at work for nearly 2 years. He is a lovely guy. Charming, friendly, cheeky and a genuinely lovely guy. Recently After seeing him on a night out at the weekend and having him being so lovely to me I've started to like the guy.. I'm developing feelings for him! I would like to try to take it further.. But I'm worried as I'm awful at flirting! And also I'm a bit worried that this May affect our work relationship.. Or it could be possibly the best thing ever? Just gotta take a chance!If anyone would be able to offer some advice on getting his attention? Or any experiences they've had with work relationships that would be perfect!Thank you all in advance.D x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, mfj78 +, writes (11 August 2015):
I am sure you will get plenty of responses warning you of the dangers of dating with a co-worker. Most of us learnt the hard way that its not the thing to do for a variety of reasons.
He may be charming, friendly, cheeky and lovely IN work, but you don't really know him away from his co-workers. People are often very different in their personal life to how they are with co-workers. We all put on a front in the workplace to some extent.
You need to tread carefully. Lots of men can be lovely to a girl when they want to get laid. I cant judge him as I have never met him of course, but just because you have worked together for 2 years doesn't mean he wont be any different to any other bloke.
Often the cheeky, charming guys in the workplace are the ones who see their young female co-workers as disposable pleasures.
Whether you have a relationship or just a fling, the rest of the workplace will find out and gossip. If it goes pair shaped or you get hurt you have to face him every day at work. What if he changes after sleeping with you and suddenly blanks you (I have seen that so many times!)
As Honeypie said, don't shit where you eat. Sorry if this sounds a little blunt but if you need to ask others how to approach him r get his attention, do you think you will be able to handle it if you end up hurt or used and everyone you face at work all day knows about it and gossips about you?
Mark
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (11 August 2015):
 I will say what I usually say in these cases... Don't shit where you eat. Which means.. don't DATE where you work. You are there to work, not flirt or use the male coworkers as your sole dating pool.
Yeah, I get that he is cute, but what if he has a GF? Or if he is just a nice flirty guy?
The awkwardness if you misread him or if it doesn't work out? Can be enough for either of you to have to leave your job.
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A
male
reader, BE125 +, writes (11 August 2015):
Hi, from what I've observed, I'm hesitant to recommend a work relationship primarily because if things go bad in the relationship, you still have to see him and work with him everyday. There's also the issue of maybe seeing too much of each other, both at work and at home. I think sometimes a little separation is healthy in order to appreciate the time you do have together. Having said all that, I can tell you as a guy I am not very good at detecting whether a woman is flirting with me, just being nice, or just making an off the cuff remark. I would not suggest flirting. I would be as direct as possible and just say that the more you've come to know him the more you think he's a good guy and ask him if he would like to go out. I would not bother with flirting because it can be subtle and many guys won't pick up on it. I would take a more direct approach. Good luck to you! Let us know how it goes.
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