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I'm insecure about my inner lips ever since one guy said they looked weird!

Tagged as: Health, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 October 2011) 10 Answers - (Newest, 10 October 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

hi, so this is more of a body issue question..

I am 21 years old and I'm a virgin. I have had oral sex once a couple years back but it has really made me isecure.

I have larger inner lips 'down there' (labia minora) and the guy I had oral sex made a big deal and said they looked weird.

I have now been dating a guy for 3 months and I know we are ready to have sex because we both trust and love each other very much.

But I am so nervous about what he'll think of my labia and if he will be put off by them.

Do guys mind larger labia? is it a big deal? Am i just being too insecure?

please be honest guys.

xx.

View related questions: insecure, oral sex

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2011):

What an immature and ignorant boy....for cripes sake, what an idiot.

He has no idea what he's talking about....you try your best to let his comments go, and be confident in yourself and who you are...you will see, when you are with someone who loves you for you, that will NOT be something he thinks at all. ((((hugs)))

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2011):

People are physically as different as the colors of the rainbow. THat's what makes relationshps so fun and interesting. I personally love larger labia because I think they evoke sexual thoughts the way larger breasts or erect nipples do, plus they feel wonderful on a man's penis. They're also fun during oral.

Be proud of what you have. If I met you, we clicked, and I saw your large labia, I'd be VERY turned on by it.

If you have waited 3 months with this guy and he loves you enough to wait, he will NOT be turned off by this.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2011):

just tell him he looks on the smaller side. I bet he will get insecure also. see how he like it! make him know what he has done so he grows up

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A male reader, JustHelpinAgain Canada +, writes (8 October 2011):

Oh good grief, most men love big lips! I guess if you're talking more than 5cm then you do have a special set, but nothing that would put a guy off. But for some advice, tell your boyfriend that you really want to have sex with him but you are afraid he won't like the look of your vagina! That should have him pretty turned on! Seriously, don't worry. Also its quite normal for those lips to swell up when the owner is aroused.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2011):

The guy was just ignorant.

Unless he was a fully trained physician...in which case he would be a total asshole.

When a guy says something like that he's being insensitive, in addition to being ignorant.

Ask your gyno what he/she thinks when you get an exam. Seriously though, suspect the guy who said that was really not aware of what he was looking at.

Professionally, I've looked at thousands of vaginas, and they all look "normal" and all look a little different.

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A male reader, brunetteshibbu United States +, writes (7 October 2011):

well i wud say that guy was a complete idiot,fool etc....

And my suggestion for u is stop worrying abt these things....every human is different with their own parts just like ur labia lips r big the same way many boys hav curved penis....but does it matter not at all...

So just stop worrying and enjoy ur moment with ur love....he won't say anything if he luvs u.....

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A female reader, RedAthena United States +, writes (7 October 2011):

RedAthena agony auntBody parts come in different shapes and sizes. He was a bumbling fool.

If a guy told me that my parts looked wierd I would be tell him, "Thank you for your assessment. Your services are no longer required."

Trust me, the guy who truly adores you is not going to care about the minute details like that. He will be happy get GETS to be the one to be with you.

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A male reader, C. Grant Canada +, writes (7 October 2011):

C. Grant agony auntI don't know what was going through that guys head -- only a complete idiot (or someone too immature to be doing that stuff anyway) would make such a comment.

I'll tell you what I've told many posters here before -- any time I've even been in a position to notice that kind of detail, there's been waay too little blood in my brain to take critical note. I don't think I've ever heard a guy say that he was put off by the size or shape of lips. Don't let one idiot's comment get in the way of a healthy sex life.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (7 October 2011):

person12345 agony aunt"my standard response to my man when he complains about my body is "you watch too much porn""

My thoughts exactly. Especially in regards to this area, there's no such thing as normal labia, they all look different. Some are "lopsided" some are long, some are short, some are purple, some are brown, some are whatever you can think of (though if they're green you might want to get that checked out). The whole idea that there's any good or bad way for labia to look is 100% from porn. Next time a guy complains about how weird your labia are, tell him you'd happily change them once he's willing to cut down the size of his penis. Labia are highly sensitive parts of your genitalia, not extra bits that exist solely for viewing pleasure. I'm sure your labia are better than fine. In fact larger labia are probably easier to stimulate during oral sex. I don't know if I even need to say this, but that guy was a porn-obsessed moron. I'm sure your boyfriend will find you beautiful and sexy. As is.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (7 October 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntmy standard response to my man when he complains about my body is "you watch too much porn"

Men in love will love you no matter what.

relax.

besides if it was that big a deal I'd be in BIG trouble to be honest..

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